Stitching Holes
by DinoRhino
Summary: Kingdoms are falling. Arrendale is crumbling, Berk's lost Astrid to poor harvest- and Merida? It couldn't be better. But peace rarely lasts, and when Elsa pleads for help, Merida is glad to oblige. Little does she know their quest will endanger her life- and her heart. This is my first fic, so yep! PLEASE REVIEW I WOULD SPAZ!
1. Crumbling Kingdom

**Ok, so this is my first fanfic. I'm not great at getting into character, or differing the voices greatly. This might seem a little OOC... but see what you think :-) Hope you like this a tiny bit, and review if you have the time. REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED. **

**Prologue**

How can there be so little left?

I breath. In. Out. In. Out. Everything's hazy- too fast. Slow down.

Death has never seemed real to me. It doesn't seem real now, even when I can feel it approaching, softly sweeping me of my feet and into that abyss. I'll never come out. I know that now.

How could I have even _dared_? I was stupid. I was ignorant. But it's going- soon to be gone. I shouldn't care. I won't. I should be enjoying these last seconds. I should be savouring the good bits. I've lived, haven't I? I've done everything I wanted to. I got into this, got out of this, fell in love and- but that's all I really needed. Love, and adventure. I should be glad I got to live such a full life. All be it, a small one.

_Fine. _I think, _Let the abyss come. _

" Any last words?" The voice will haunt me. I know it will. Because behind it lies shrieks, tumbling over each other, over and over and over, like layered quilts, rising higher as they grow more panicked. I know I will be missed. How could something I once craved so much turn now so bitter sweet?

"Yes." I say, " I'm done. I'm ready."

I don't look up. I can tell I would be faced only with a brief smirk. I once loved that smirk.

"Good. Never heard that one before. Do like a bit of change."

"STOP! I BEG YOU JUST- JUST STOP!"

My heart sighs, falling like a stone even deeper into my ribcage. _Please, _I think, _Don't make this any harder. Love me how I used to love you. _

And then I stop thinking. Because there it is. The thing I've been waiting for.

Pressure. Metal. Cold. So, so cold.

The hinge of my neck.

_Goodbye._

**Chapter One**

**Merida**

I'm not entirely sure why I bothered to wake up. The day has leaked in. Again. Just another hole I don't have time to stitch.

I hear Lady Olive enter the room. She has a certain way of breathing- light and weak, with small pattering feet accompanying. It's either her or Cook who wakes me these days. Mother and Father are both too busy with the triplets to spare their daughter any time.

Especially Mother. The last time I had breakfast was- and I strain my brain to think. I literally cannot remember the last time we sat down, exchanged fickle comments, laughed at the way Father eats like something you would find nearer the bottom of the ocean than on land, or chatted about the way the sky grows darker with each day, gathering up in the descent to winter.

"My Lady," Olive says, " The guests are here."

I blink. Guests? Since when did we have _guests? _

"Who?" I ask.

"Queen Elsa and Princess Anna, my Lady."

"_Who?"_

"You're 3rd cousins, my lady."

I scratch my head and sit up on an elbow so I can get a full view of my Tutor. She stands tall and unhooking, her eyes the same colour of water running over slate. I wonder what mother saw in her, and how it would benefit me. Apart from behind polite and proper, she's exceedingly strict. I marvel how I even considered the business of guest cousins being a joke.

"When will they be arriving?"

"Soon- Queen Eleanor invited them over from the Sixth Kingdom for a feast and hunting party that she expects you to lead. Princess Anna is getting married, my lady."

I draw a thick breath. Marriage. To me, a word of imprisonment, not love. A word that means chains and dull days knitting cloths and tight clothes with tied back hair. Instantly, I feel a spark of hate kindling within me for the weak princess.

"What about the other one? The Queen?"

"She has never been in a relationship, on the basis of her… skills."

"Skills?"

Olive's eyes harden. "Get ready. They'll be here in a couple of minutes. I'll send someone up to dress you."

She slams the door.

_Dress me? Yeah, right. _I can dress myself. Ripping off the covers, I slide onto the planked floor, shivering at the chill. The harvest hasn't been good this year. No doubt the feast will be made of pretty much just meat. Will there be a hunting party to collect fresh food? Could I join them?

As much as I'd like to, I realise I couldn't get away with it today. If these cousins are really royals from the Sixth Kingdom, I doubt my mother will be all too forgiving if I show her up, especially after the tournament.

Dressing myself has always been a bother. Not so much that I can't be asked to do it, but that I never know what'll please Mother. Dark blue? Will that dull my eyes? Gold, or will that show up my hair in the early morning blush?

Eventually I settle for an ivy green robe, well worn and tougher than wool. I know it won't look to elegant, but there really is a limit to how much I'll sacrifice style for comfort. This princess business is suited so much better for people like Anna and Elsa. I was never good at it.

There's a harsh cry from downstairs, echoing into my tower from way down in the entrance of the palace. I quickly go for my sword, but then- then I hear the singsong voices of two ladies, dancing lightly over the deep clangs of the voices as rough as mine.

Then a joyful squeal- "So _you're _Queen Eleanor!" and laughter. Suddenly, I feel painfully left out, and saunter out of my room, gold clanking together on my ankles like bells.

Peering over the balcony, I see them. Two girls dressed up to the nine's in guards and silver and silk, mooching around like they own the place. And there's Mother, green eyes watching placidly, hands linked together as she waits for another assault of words.

"Goodness, this place is just…" the girl with the brown plats shakes her heads pointedly, "Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Hey, hey Elsa, can _we _get a stuffed bear?" She points to the stuffed creature in the first lobby, " I just love it!" She squeals, clapping her hands, and rustling her long purple sleeves together in delight.

I feel a little sick already.

Thankfully, Elsa (was that her name?) sighs to.

" No." She says, " No stuffed bears. You've got enough fluff in that head of yours as it is."

I stuff a sleeved fist into my mouth. I'm begging to like the girl with white hair.

Anna, still grinning, tugs my Mother's arm.

" Show us around!" She giggles, "Please, please ,_please!"_

Mother smiles tightly. " Of course. I will collect my daughter to escort you to wherever you wish to go."

"Thanks!" Anna beams so widely I think her cheeks might snap, " I want to see _everything!_"

My mother nods and clicks her fingers at Olive. " Get Merida." She says.

"No!" I shout down over the balcony. "I'm coming!'

My mother looks up, and my heart freezes as she catches my eyes.

"It appears my daughter is already here." She says stiffly, " Excuse her… interesting choice of clothing."

Both Anna and Elsa follow her glare. Anna actually _jumps _when she see's me and screams, " She's got RED HAIR! We _must be cousins!_"

I peer closer to her. She too has a hint of ginger, but nothing more than that. I know that to her, I look like my head is on fire.

Elsa smiles up at me and gives a small wave.

I hoist up my skirt and run down the stairs to greet them. When was the last time I had guests? 3rd cousin guests, even!

Anna shakes my hand so enthusiastically that I think she might yank it off. " So glad to meet you!"

"You to," I gasp. Elsa puts a gentle hand on her sister's shoulder. I notice how both her hands are gloved with heavy silver silk, as though she might have something to hide.

" I'm Elsa," She says, " This is Anna. Nice to meet you. I heard about your escapades last year." She smiles, " I thought it was rather marvellous."

I blush, noticing how truly beautiful both of them are up close. Why couldn't _I _be that beautiful? Elsa's eyes are even bluer than my own, and Anna's not far off. And both of them have truly remarkable faces- small and exquisite, like two walking china dolls that stepped out of their pretty little doll house by accident, and have somehow ended up here, rooted in mud and heather.

"Thanks."

"You were going to show them around, dear, before the meal?" My Mother quips.

"Oh, yeah." I turn to them again, and shrug. " You coming? It'll be ruddy boring."

"Merida! Mind your language!"

I roll my eyes, and hide a grin as I see both Anna and Elsa winking at me as if they are silently saying- _we know the feeling._

"So, Elsa, how's it being Queen?" Mother asks. Cook shines in from behind her, carrying nine bowls of starter soup. I can smell the Highland Rose over the foul stench of boiled eggs- we've often been told of our interesting tastes.

"Fine. Everyone seems to like me a lot better now I'm not locked inside my bedroom."

I dip my spoon into the soup before it's even fully on the table. I'm starved.

"Well, there's no surprise! You _are _both such lovely girls. No wonder people liked you more when they knew you."  
_Or, _I think of Anna, _When they haven't. _

"So, what do you do as Queen? Is there much fighting in Arendelle?"

"No. I think everyone is aware that I'm protecting my land. They wouldn't dare after-" She sucks in a breath, stopping. The soup is placed delicately near her, and she begins to absorb herself in the task of eating. My mother looks astounded. She's finally met someone royal with the same social skills as me.

Anna fills in her sister's lacking gap, stuffing my mother to the brim with tales of wine and money and gold and men and love and glory and greatness and- I realise I've stopped listening. She sounds a little like a fly. An annoying one with a big mouth, too. How does Elsa put up with it? If my brother's were as chatty as this, then I think I would've put them in their place a long time ago.

Finally, Anna pauses and begins to eat. She's hardly started her soup, and the rest of us are already tucking into Cherry Cake with Moor Petals.

The table goes quiet. Anna was the only thing keeping the stiff conversation afloat. In a way, I'm almost glad. With her finally starting to eat, it means I can get away quicker, and maybe even get to the Fire Falls before sundown. Could I invite Elsa along?

"I'm afraid I'm full." Mother suddenly says, " Boys?" She nods to the triplets, " It's time for your bath."

They all stick out their tongues, but know it's a loosing battle before it's even begun.

She snaps her gaze over to me. I feel my back tighten a little straighter; my eyes click into focus out of instinct. For so many years, Mother has scalded and yelled at me because I didn't act proper. It's a hard habit to break.

" Merida?" She asks, " What do you and your interesting choice of dressing wish to do? I assume Fergus will accompany Anna whilst she finishes her meal."

Father snorts on his beer, but manages to hide it. I can tell he adores Anna as much as I do.

"I'll finish my…painting." I say.

Elsa gives me a funny look. My mother only smiles, even though I have no doubt she has picked up the lie.

"Alright. If Elsa doesn't wish to stay with Anna, you can both go. I'm sure Arrendale's Queen has much knowledge in the arts of…." She scrunches up her nose, trying to sound as sophisticated as possible, " Paints."

"I do indeed."

Mother bows a little at both of us before hurrying after the boys. I hear the echo of her sweet voice long after she's called them. Why couldn't that voice be calling me?

"Do you really paint?"

"Do I look like I paint?"

"Point taken."

"Do you really never intend to marry?"

Elsa sighs and presses her hand onto the windowpane. I blink once- fireworks of ice shoot out of her outstretched palm.

"I honestly don't know. Love is a complicated thing, and I don't want it to rule me, you know? I don't want to stumble across some guy and call it fate. I want to choose. Everything feels as though it's already laid out. I want to love for _love. _And I don't know if I can do that without trespassing myself."

I squint at her, trying to follow. It's hard.

She turns back from the view, and scrunches her fingers into a fist.

"How about you?"

I twiddle the dry paintbrush in-between my two middle fingers. Do I?

" I guess I do… one day. But I just want it to be real, like you say. I don't want to be forced into anything by some fate controlling me from above."

Elsa sighs. " How are we going to ever resolve our little issue?" She moans.

"Give it time."

Elsa bites her lip. " But I don't _have _time, Merida! Anna, a princess, is getting married before the Queen! It's unthinkable! People are going to turn against her, I know it. Or me- what about me?"  
"Wait. Why would your people turn on either of you?"

"Anna's so young. They may think her not ready, or not suitable. And me- people are edgy enough about me as it is. They might accuse me of trying to keep the power all to myself or- I don't know! But Merida, please… I've been meaning to ask you since we got here, because you've done this kind of thing before-" She gasps for breath, squeezing her knees to her chest as she sits on the sill, " Will you help me?"

I look at her. Her wide eyes, her perfect face, her beautiful platted hair, and can't help think about how she could choose any man on the Ten Kingdoms, and they'd love her until she died. So why is she asking me, of all people, for help?

Elsa takes my pause as a decline. " Please!" She begs, " I'll do anything!"

"I don't need anything," I snap, " I'm just thinking."

Because I've just thought of something. A terrible idea, yes. A stupid one too. But it might just get us both what we need; a choice as well as a chance.

"How about we enter one of those gaming things- you know what I mean. Like the one my parents held for me. They must be going on all around the ten Kingdoms. We're sure to find one with a reasonable guy with reasonable gold, and we get to choose him. It's a win-win."

" A win-win? For _both _of us?"

I hadn't realised the words had came out my mouth, but they did. _We. _Both of us, together. Am I just as desperate for love as she is?

"Yes. For both of us."

"How do we find out? And when will we see each other again?"

"Listen- we can both find a game to compete in before Anna's wedding. You'll see me then and people will have worked out you're not a selfish power obsessed monarch!"

Elsa grins weakly. " Sounds good."

I smile back at her. My jaw feels unused to the subtle action. I haven't felt much need to smile in a while.

And just like that, it's sorted. We're in this together. We're friends, and cousins- the first friend I've had in a long time.

The rest of the night, she teaches me how to paint the stars; how to dab the paper with water on the navy to make it look as if the sky is crying, and how to make the stars shine brighter than they actually are. And most importantly, she shows me how no one star can shine alone.

**Thanks for reading this- I'm sorry, i know it's utterly boring. _Hopefully _*crosses fingers and bites lip* the next chapter will be a little less so. Feel free to leave a review- I _promise _to look at all of them! (P.S- I'm not good at writing as Hiccup. BE PREPARED for the next chapter!)**


	2. Sickening Souls

**Chapter Two**

**Hiccup**

I can see his life. Her life. I see them all in the fire.

They are fleeting. I can feel the heat falling off of me, like a winter cloak. Astrid and Stoick. Astrid and Stoick.

They are falling. They have fallen.

Astrid has left me. She's gone. And inside I'm shattered, but I am keeping it in- like fire inside a clay pot, though, I am leaking. Again. Just another hole I'll never have time to stitch.

"Hiccup…"

"Father?"

I rest my head up upon the great chief's bed. His heat from fever slathers over me. I'm not even touching him, and I know he's burning up.

"You are sad. How long has she been gone?"

"Six months."

My father chokes on his laugh. His voice is too battered by illness to feel joy.

"Six months? That is so long for a prince to feel sad."

"I wish she was here."

"We all do, my son. It wasn't right that she died, when other's survived."

"No."

"I am dying, Hiccup. You know I am."

Tears. Tears well up in the back of my throat, but I fight them. My father has always been a fighter, right up to the very end. I won't cry; I'm no longer a boy. I won't.

"Yes. Yes, Father, I have known for a while."

"I can't die seeing my boy unhappy. I can't die not knowing where his fate will lead him. Which pretty girl my boy will wed."

"Father, what do you mean?"

He leans up slightly so he can take my hand, " A tournament, and Hiccup-a tournament, with the prize being your hand. I need to see the girl. I _can't _die without know-"

"Father, please, no." I want him to hear the plea in my words so bad; no, I don't want to, no, you can die knowing I'll find my own way, no, the wound Astrid left is still far too raw.

"Hiccup!" he says, " See the sense! You may never heal, thanks to Astrid. Her body hasn't been found- she may not even be dead. You must consider all possibilities. My dying wish, son. Please, do this for me. I'll send out the invites. I'll do it all. Just sit there. Please."

"No. Have you asked Mother?"

"You know you're Mother won't care."

I gulp back a cry. I can't let this happen. I won't go through with this. Astrid. Astrid. What would she do?

"_Father_."

I would raise my voice. I would scream. I would get my sword and fight him right here, if he wasn't already spent. If his face wasn't hinted with green, if his cheeks were drained of colour, if his strong eyes weren't sagging with redness, and if his noise wasn't crusted with unshaped illness. It makes me sick just to look at him.

He _is dying. _

How can I fully deny him of his dying wish?

I'll die inside if I go through with it.

He'll already be dead if I don't.

My hands clench the wet sheets. How can he make me do this?

He knows how much I love Astrid. Loved Astrid. How can he even suggest, after only six months, that I marry? I hadn't even considered marriage with Astrid. I knew we would but- but we had a life ahead of us; I wanted to take it slow, let it grow more beautiful with age like fine wine.

This would be quick and painful- this would be definitive. I wouldn't be able to get out of it- but I don't have the heart to smash the old man that is already broken. Is this my last chance to smelt those shattered shards back together?

I know deep inside me that it is.

"Fine." I whisper, " _Fine._"

My father smiles weakly, showing stubs of brown teeth. "Thank you, my son."

I can't bare to look at him any longer; anger mixed with fear, fear mixed with love.

"Goodbye." I snarl, and slam the door.

Trees sway in a gentle wind. A light darkness spreads over the land like a cloth, and a smoky tinge colours the air. A cool rain patters slowly on my forehead, and I pull my goatskin coat even further round my shoulders. Above me, there are hints of stars behind wispy rain clouds; hue's of pearly light behind a consuming fog. Is Astrid up there looking out for me?

Sometimes I wonder if she is still alive. They never did find her body. But she was weak when she went hunting that morning. All of us were.

She tried to save us.

I gulp back another set of fresh tears, as I approach Toothless' 'stable'. In the damp, the worn wood feels slimy under my shivering fingers. Gently, I ease open the stiff handle, and the dragon slumbers out, glistening slightly in the shimmering rain. The moon gives us both just enough light to see by.

"Hey, bud." I stroke his muzzle tenderly. Each scale is hard on the softness of my fingertips.

Toothless doesn't reply .His eyes grow greener as he watches me, taking in the drooping shape of my eyes, the way my auburn hair sticks to my face as the wetness gets through my hood.

"Let's go." I tell him, " Let's fly and never come back."

I know I will, but the words make me feel stronger. Toothless understands, and lowers his body slightly, hinting for me to slide on. I should get a saddle. The wet will make me slip- I could fall like a leaf into the ocean if I make the slightest bend the wrong way. But I, for some reason, couldn't care less.

And then Toothless runs. Power thuds under me, and wet mud squelches as the dragon builds up speed. My fingers dig into his scales, the wind whipping past me as we go; and suddenly, we're up. The air swathes under us like rising water. The stars seem closer now.

Rain bashes my eyes, and I squint. I lean over slightly, and the moon paints silver linings on the breaks of waves; we fly quickly over the sea. Far away, thunder. The clouds rise and fall around us. Everything is more desperate up here, full of lust and danger. In this world above the world, I feel most at home.

"Keep going," I whisper, " Keep going till you can go no more."

I think he understands.

**Yep- I CANNOT write in his POV! Sorry- again, if you have the time, feel free to review! I appreciate any constructive criticism, too. Any feedback would be great! :-DDD**


	3. Lying Arrows

**Chapter Three**

**Merida**

Elsa goes, and instantly the weather becomes warmer. The sun shines brighter, and the ominous thud of winter loosens its grasp. I find myself smiling at everything. Maybe there was a bubble of summer left over, and my newfound happiness has popped it. The fresh idea of competing out of my own freedom feels gorgeously beautiful.

Today, it's the best. I stare up at the sun from the courtyard, basking in the concentrated sunlight. The grass feels lithe in a cool wind, whistling through my fingers. The sky is too blue, the sun bleeding yellow, like a stained green glass window, it shines through hand picked leaves, leaving my face half shattered by shadows.

"Enjoying the weather?" My mother asks. I hear the door slide open, and avert my eyes to her long figure sauntering through the bright red poppy flowers.

"Trying to darken my skin," I joke, " The only downside is that you'll be able to see me in the snow if I do tone up."

She smiles wirily. "Any other reasons?"

"No."

"No… tournaments?"

I squeeze my eyes shut. "No. Why?"

"Just wondering. Because The Vast family has just-"

"Excuse me? Are you trying to suggest that I follow your rules of marriage _again_?"

"No, I just _overheard_-"

"You liar!" I say, " You weren't bathing the boys! You were spying! Have you seriously lost _all trust?_" I'm so used to it, I'm not entirely surprised.

"I-" she stops, knowing I've picked up the truth. " I was just trying to protect you- Elsa has powers that you wouldn't even dream of."

"You were not. You were listening, and now your advising me _again. _Can't you just let me be? Let me choose my own pat-"

"Merida," She says sternly, so close now that I can see the flecks of brown in her jade eyes, " We've been through this. I am just trying to help."

I jump up and stand on my tiptoes so I can look her in the eyes. Fire leaks out of my ribcage- cold, icy fire. My good mood has been utterly smashed.

"No. This is the second time. I won't put up with it any more. Don't come looking." I push angrily past her, shoving her forcefully in the waist as I go.

"Merida."

I keep on going.

"Merida. Stop. I refuse to let you continue."

I spin round, to meet her pale nose shining down at mine.

"And I-" I say slowly, " Refuse to be vanquished any longer by the likes of _you_."

I'm so angry I don't even notice that it's raining.

The storm came from the south, and it thrashes around my legs as I ride, as I thwack Angus on his flanks so hard that you can hear the echo charge through the woods-my tough leather clad boots painfully hitting the skin of my horse.

I wish with all my heart that it were my mother instead.

Lighting douses the forest in silver light, and the rain hits my face like a million tiny arrows, each determined to learn my secrets and delve inside.

And then thunder; great screeches of thunder yell through the woods, like the call of an outraged loon. I ride with the suddenly changing weather, as powerful as the wind and as vast as the sky.

Slowly, it dies down. As the ferociousness of the torrent dwindles, so does my anger. Gently, my heart begins to ease. The anger becomes more contained, but no less fierce. Trust betrayed; trust annihilated. I thought that in the last few months, my mother's issues with me had gone.

I was wrong. I won't make the same mistake again.

Suddenly, a huge rip of lightening sprints across the sky. My head snaps up to see it; like a massive tear in a huge black cloth, light bashes into the open air. I breathe at its hugeness, and then gasp. The light didn't just revel how evil nature could be. It reviled how evil Mother Nature could make her children.

Because there it is, silhouetted by the moon, darker than the clouds themselves.

A dragon.

Here, in these parts. We haven't seen one in as long as we can remember, and since the issue with Mor'Du has recently passed, I'm not sure anyone is in the mood for any more supernatural phenomenon's at the present time.

But there it is, gliding over the hills, riding the storm as if riding a wave. I ask myself a vital question- could I shoot it down from here? It would be the only way to at least _try _to save my people.

With a shivering hand, I pluck an arrow from my belt. With one swift movement, I load it onto the bow. I pull the string right up to my lip, so the feathers brush my cheek. I am strong. I am confident.

I let the arrow fly.

**Hiccup**

It vibrates through his body as if it is mine. I dare to lean over, and I see it. In Toothless' hide is embedded a singular arrow, preened with dovetail feathers. I strain to see who shot it, but the trees hide them from my view, sagging in the sweltering rain.

I feel him begin to drop.

"It's ok, bud." I whisper, patting his head. I can feel him trying to extend his wings; put the storm presses them tightly to his body. We're going down. We should've stopped. But we haven't, not once since leaving Berk more than a week ago. We're exhausted.

And we're finally going to land, maybe for the last time.

"Glide," I croak, " Just glide into the trees, and we'll survive."

My stomach lifts, and I feel as if my body has been left behind. Let me tell you, it's not the best feeling in the world.

But is there an army waiting for us? Is the ground going to be no more safe than the sky?  
I don't have a choice, as I press myself on to Toothless' back, and we fall faster than we've ever flown. Neither of us are fighting it. That would be stupid.

I can see now where he's aiming; a small river, crashing between thrashing oak trees. I see a clearing next to it too, and shelter. If no one's there, we'll be safe.

We hit the water with dangerous speed, and the cold scrapes our legs as we clamber desperately to the shore. _So cold. _My lips are numb, my hands quivering uncontrollably, not feeling anything as I blow on them, trying too hard to tempt them back from their hibernation. Rain coats me like a thick quilt. I just need heat. I just need sunshine.

Toothless groans beside me. On my knees, I wade through the thick mud to find him sprawled in the sparse grass. A thick, deep wound cuts into his side. A pool of luminous green blood litters the floor.

I don't check for cuts on my body. I know I won't like what I find.

And then, like sleep, a huge avalanche of hopelessness _consumes _me. Astrid. Stoick. That girl my father chooses, doomed to me as I am doomed to her.

Blackness. My consciousness slips from my hands. But that isn't what scares me.

What scares me is this- I don't even try to grasp it back. I let it go.

Blackness.

**Merida**

I grunt happily as the dragon falls from the sky like a bluebottle with no wings. I nearly laugh. That was my best shot in a long time.

Will that be enough to kill it?

My thin fingers slide around the handle of my sword. It makes a beautiful sound as I draw it out into the night, slashing silver in the glistening rain.

This will be enough.

I fling myself over Angus, watching the dragon fall as I do. My eyes never leave the dimming dot in the inky sky.

"Angus!" I shout, "Follow that dragon!"

The closer I get to the dragon, the more I realise where it might have landed. I don't like what I begin to see.

It's landed in my camp- the camp I healed wounds with my mother, the camp where we caught salmon under autumn sun, the camp where we ate poisonous berries and water filled with worms.

If that dragon _dared _land there…

Angus thuds to a holt between _that _clump of trees. I hear the fast guzzle of a near by steam- _that_ stream.

With a grunt, I swing of Angus and onto the ground. Mud swathes around my feet, oozing with a satisfying squelch as I step forwards. With a bruised hand, I swat back slimy brown leaves- and there it is. The dragon. I've never seen anything like it. I would've faced a hundred Mor'Du's.

The creature looks like… like my mother's curtain, tattered by a storm. It's wings slather the ground with black, torn at the edges angrily. It's tail curves like a 'c' on the marshland. It looks dangerous, but also… worn. Tired. Weak.

My finger slides over the hilt of my sword. Should I kill it? Should I kill it now?  
And that's when I notice the boy.

The dragon's not moving, but entwined in its feet is a boy dressed completely in wet furs. I can smell him from here- musk and dog and Viking.

Viking.

My heart skips a beat. The boy still hasn't moved. Have I killed a Viking? Is he an important one? Could I have started another war?

Sparks shoot up my limbs. _My fault. Why's it always my fault_?

And then I see a brief movement in the boy's right hand. His finger's curl round the dragon's knees, looking for comfort. I can't yet see his face, but that gentle gesture… suddenly the pair look less like an enemy and more like friends.

"Angus," I whisper, " Please, stay here." And, with one bold foot, I step through the trunks and run to the boy's side.

I press my hand to the back of his cheek. He feels feverishly warm, a burning change from the numbing storm. I pull his hand over my shoulder, yanking him up. His hood hides his features as I drag him inside my camp.

As soon as he's lying down, with a blanket and a weak fire, I run back to the creature. It's only now that I realise thick puddles of green blood lie by it's black body- a body sliced open by my arrow.

I grind my teeth tug the shaft backwards. The dragon groans as the arrow falls on the floor; more blood pours out the fresh gash. I mentally punch myself. I was stupid to release it. The arrow wasn't poisoned, luckily, but the blood had formed a clot. Now I need to bother stitching it up all over again.

"Agrimony."

I snap round, unsure of what I heard. "What?" I cry. The wind howls above me. I feel it thud inside my bones.

The only answer is the groan of the beast.

Agrimony? I know it's a yellow flower, but it's rare. I only have a couple of heads stored here. Should I waste it on a dragon?

I find the Agrimony dried in an old water skin. I'm not sure if it'll even work anymore. It's used to heal cuts and fasten clots, but this dried up, dusty plant head looks utterly useless. Nether the less, I stuff it into the wound, padding the bleeding slash with the brown powder.

To my surprise, the bleeding does indeed slow to a stop, although the Agrimony turns instantly violent green. I scratch the dragon once under it's ear. If I didn't know the things, I would've said it sighed.

Then I remember the boy.

Back in the camp, he is ice cold. The fire has turned to soot. When I stamp my foot in it, all that I feel is chilled black mud. The boy is freezing in a fever.

Desperately, I fling off my cloak and wrap it around his shoulders. Bruises and cuts shower his body, as plentiful as drops of rain. The storm still patters above us- I can hear it shower onto the roof, sounding like the hard shaking of maracas in a crazy, wondrous dance.

"Come on, please." I beg, lifting the hood finally. "Come on."

And then my heart stops. The boy. I know this boy.

Well, I didn't _know _him. But I know his face. Thin and strong, freckled under the bridge of the nose, thick strands of hazel hair falling messily across his wild eyebrows.

He is the dragon whisper.

He is whispered among Scottish living legend. Compassionate and kind, clever and funny- secretly I had hoped he would appear with the clans to my tournament.

And here he is; on my lap, under my coat, breathing heavily through cracked lips. The last I heard, the Vikings were down in Devon. What's he doing up here, with his dragon?

_His dragon. _Oh, help me Good Great God Time. I just shot The Dragon Whisper, and his dragon… Toothless.

But for the life of me, I can't remember his name. Harvey? Hickey? Holland?

I look down at him. His hands feel like ice water under mine.

"What's your name?" I whisper.

Under the closed eyelids, I see his eyes flicker. I keep speaking.

"Why are you here? Where did you come from? You are the dragon whisper, aren't you? Who's your family? Where's your tribe?"

I try to think of better questions, but that's about it. Then, I think of one more.

"Are you alone?" I ask.

**Hiccup**

Astrid. It's Astrid, but her voice sounds funny. Like it's runny and dripping and melted. Falling in all the wrong places. Dancing strangely with her words.

Accent. It's an accent.

Falling in all the wrong places- I'm trying to wake up. Dancing strangely with my words- I've been dancing for too long.

Am I alone?

I try to say I'm not. I try to say I have Toothless. That was always enough before.

But I am alone. And no strange words are going to stitch up that hole for me.

"Wake up," Astrid says, " Come on, wake up. Don't die on me without me even knowing your name."

I hear her, but I don't. It's as if we're a hundred feet under water, and her voice is muffled. I'm baffled how she's even worked up the courage to speak- if I open my mouth; I know it will just fill right up with water.

"Hiccup. That's it." Astrid sounds relieved. "Come on, Hiccup. Wake up."

**Merida**

I laugh when his eyes flicker open. It sounds crazy, but I do. Relief pours over me, as I take in his huge green eyes, ringed with red and tiredness. Do I look like that?

"Astrid," He whispers, " You came back."

"I'm not Astrid," I say," But you're going to survive, ok? Don't close your eyes. Just… don't."

He smiles wonkily, " Ok."

I sit him up, resting him on the planks of wood holding up the camp. As I go back down, I notice how horribly muddy his shoes are. They have so many holes. I should take him to the castle. Mordie will fix him up as soon as possible and-

And he'll go back home- back to the home he flew miles away from, to reach here. Only, I shot him down. Would it really be fare to take him back to the castle, just so he can go all the way back down to Devon?

"Hey," I croak, propping up his chin, " You like soup?"

His head droops down. I take it as a yes, and crack open the reserves of Wild Thyme, pouring it into a huge stone pot I keep here. The misshapen fallings make the crumbly leaves look like weak butterfly wings at the foot of the caldron.

I turn back to Hiccup. " I'll be back," I tell him softly, "Just getting water for me. For us."

He nods.


	4. Flourishing Teams

**Chapter Four**

**Merida**

"So…" I begin, "Why are you here?"

"Here, as in Scotland, or here as in, sitting with you?"

I shuffle slightly, stirring my drink. " Both."

"Well, my dad- he's dying."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to stir up unwanted-"

"No, it's not that. He's been dying for ages. It doesn't bother me so much anymore. I mean, everyone has to die, right? Why be sad about something that was coming no matter how you felt? You can't change death like you can change fate."

I look up from my soup. That was exactly what I thought when I was fighting with my mother. In. Those. Very. Words.

"Keep going."

"My dad wants to see who I'll marry. Wants to know I'm happy before he leaves, since my girlfriend…disappeared a few months ago."

"O.K. So why are you here?"

" I don't want to get married to any old person who can afford to pay they're way into my tournament. I just don't." He turns away, " You wouldn't understand."

I throw my hands up in the air. "Oh my goodness, Hiccup! _I _wouldn't understand?!"

"Sorry, but no. I think… I think only royals would. Sorry, but most peasants seem fairly happy with their lot."

I raise an eyebrow. Peasant. He would think that. My dress is tattered, and, if I was a princess, what would I be doing in a forest? In a storm?

I decide not to tell him. See where it leads. And also this- I don't want him figuring out it's me who plucked them out the sky. It's obvious as it is, but it'll already be common news I escaped the palace at _this _time, and that I'm good at archery. If he ever gets out of here, he'll know it was I before I could stop it. And I don't want to loose this friend I've just began to make.

"I guess not. So, why are you here? Sitting next to me?"

Of course I _know_. I just want to see if he knows it was me who nearly shot his guts out. Then I can tell him right now who I am.

"Someone shot me down." He says, curling his hands tighter round his helping of soup. I notice the steam rolling up into his face, slathering onto his lips and dancing in front of his eyes. I notice the tiny freckles on the bridge of his nose. I notice the slight wave at the ends of his amber hair. I notice the way his shoulders are bold, yet still wirily, exactly how people should be.

I think about him. Hiccup- Son of Stoick the Vast. The name strikes a sudden spark of ferocious memory in my head. Wasn't it only this morning my mother was recommending suitors to me again? Wasn't ' Vast' the one name she handpicked?

It would fit his story. So _that _was why he flew out here. And why am I here? For much the same reason. I didn't want my mother messing with my fate, he didn't want his father messing with his.

I lean back, taking a huge sip from my soup. We are so alike. Is it more than common fate that he ended up here, talking with me?

"Why are you so upset?" I asked, " I mean, Princess' aren't _all _bad."

He raised an eyebrow, giving me a halfhearted smirk. " Really? Anna, from the Sixth Kingdom, came over to invite my dad to her wedding. I would rather die than be married to her."

"Good thing she's already married." I said smiling, " I've met her. Not. Nice."

"You've _met _her?"

" Yeah, I mean, I saw her and she kinda seemed annoying and-" I give up, holding my face in my hands.

"It's okay to admit you stalk royals." He pats me sympathetically on the shoulder, " Otherwise why would you be here, talking to me?"

I raise my eyes, still blushing. "Okay. So how are you going to stop you're dad?"

"He's dying." He sighs, " I'm just going to go through with it. I don't really see any other options."

I hang my chin sadly, " Best get you back then, Hu?"

"Are you sure Toothless is going to be ok?"

"He'll be _fine_. A shot in the stomach is _nothing _to a dragon like him." I tap my nose, " I know these things."

He smiles loftily, not quite believing. "Alright."

I cross my arms. " Alright."

Eventually, I return to my mother. But even then, I don't forget Hiccup. Every day, I go back after nightfall to my- our- camp. Toothless does indeed heal, slowly and gracefully. As if his scales are a skin growing over hot chocolate, a beautiful pink film flows over the deep gash. Soon, dark black scales follow, each like an individually selected patch of nighttime.

And Hiccup? Does he heal?

He heals in his body. And I see his eyes heal to- they loose they're sagging look of utter loss. He tells me her name was Astrid. He tells me she had hair like fresh corn, and skin the colour of limestone, but without the coarse un-smoothness. He tells me it was soft, like the underneath of a leaf.

Most of the time, I ignore him, as we catch fish under starts, or shoot wild pigs in the forest, or collect herbs under the canopy, as the mist and the rain creeps in from below and above.

And then, after a while, he stops. He begins to laugh, and so do I. He stops mourning for a while. I think, in some way, he begins to forget. Do I help? Can I help? I want to. I wonder if he'd like me if I told him who I was- or would he despise me?

But he never forgets about his tournament. Neither, I realise, do I.

Because wasn't this already decided? My mother would make me compete no matter what. But there it is- I want to compete. I want to see how far I could go. I want to make him open his huge eyes in surprise, as I raise my hood and say my name.

I tell myself I only want to do it because I know we'd both find it darkly hilarious. But I know that's not the whole reason. My heart flutters every time he looks at me. A lump rises in my throat every time his arm touches mine. I know he'd probably hate me if I competed. But as I get to know him better and better, I know I wouldn't really care all that much. I just… I just want to be with him. Not forever, or anything. I… it's… I enjoy spending time with him. I've never, _never, _felt like this before. With _anyone. _

I wish I knew what he was thinking. Would he wish for me to compete? Or would he wish I would clear of, leave him alone; let him fly back to Berk?

I try to ignore that possibility, as hard as it is.

And then the day comes. He leaves, his new cloak (A gift from me) billowing off his shoulders, his sword (A gift from me) hoisted silver in his jewelled belt. Toothless spreads his wings. I stand on tiptoes, leaning up to wish him goodbye. And then in one swift movement, he leans down and kisses me. Nothing special. Just on my nose. A friend kiss. A gentle kiss.

A beginning kiss.

"You seem… occupied."

Mother watches me in the mirror as she tightens my new dress for the wedding. Today's the day. The day when I finally choose which tournament I am going to compete in. I wonder which one Elsa will choose.

It is the day we travel to Arrendale for Anna's wedding. Much to my displeasure, I feel _excited. _Not to see Anna, or her husband, or to dress up all pretty- no. I'm excited because me and Elsa can _finally _confer again. I've been dying to ask her about what I should do. Should I go for it? Does he like me? Do I even like him? Would it be to embarrassing?

Yes- yes. It would be too embarrassing. I'll go to The Mintu Tournament instead. Or like-the Ridual tournament. That'll be fun. I'll never win that.

"Mum?" I ask, " You know how ages ago you said The Vast family was holding a marriage thingy?"

She yanks the strings of my corset. I gasp. "Yes." She says stiffly.

"Well… I was thinking… how much is the entry price?"

She gathers my hair together, smoothing it down into a neat plait. " Nothing we can't afford, darling. Why? Has the young prince stolen your heart?"

I gulp, which was difficult to say the least. The corset is so tight I can't even breathe without drawing in breaths like a pig.

"No. But he has money, right?"

My mother smiles at my reflection. " When did you meet him?"

I shrug. "Sometime."

"And you want to enter?" Her smile grows.

"A bit."

"Oh, darling!" She grabs my cheeks, " How _marvellous_!"

"Yeah."

"We'll need to prepare you! You'll need armour, and lessons in manners and all sorts. You _do _fall behind in those-"

"Armour? For what?"

She bites her lip, controlling her excitement. She digs her hand into her pocket, revelling six golden pins. She gathers up the perfect plait and begins top pile it atop my head.

"Not all competitions are as quick and as placid as yours was, love. Some are rather gruelling to say the least."

"Well, that's ok, isn't it? I know how to fight."

"You do." She says, evening out my sky blue collar, "Oh, my dear, you do. I can't wait to tell you're father! Finally- my girl! In love!"

"I'm _not_." I groan. " Not _completely_."

But she's already gone.

The coach journey to Arrendale was long. I can't even remember how many towns we passed through, how many villages I waved too, how many inns we stayed at, waiting for the night to roll through.

And to my horror, the whole way I think about Hiccup. What's happening to me? My sense of dignity? I only knew him for a week or two. Is that long enough for your heart to be stolen?

I think it is.

And when the horse journey is done, we step onto the boat, preparing to travel over the Sixth Sea. Each night, I step into the cold air, watching as the sea drifts beneath the boats hull, pulling and plunging, waiting for the earth to fall into it's inviting hands.

Is it possible that I like Hiccup the more I think about him? He becomes even more perfect in my head, as does my decision to compete. He'll laugh with me, invite me to tea, and I'll tell him everything- how I'm sorry I shot him down, how I'm sorry I lied to him about who I was, how I think that I think I like him, and about how I came here with no malice, but another feeling, another feeling I haven't quite grasped the name of yet. Half Love. Almost Heaven. Nearly there.

"Merida!"

"Elsa!"

My first thought is that she looks beautiful. It's hard for it not to be. She's dressed in light purple, mixed with a icy blue, creating a sort of snowy haze round her thin, perfect body. Her hair is tied atop her head, like mine, but two locks flow loose, hiding either ear, curling like a white ribbon on the misty spring morning.

And then I think about Hiccup- he would fall in love with Elsa the second he laid eyes on her. She is too utterly beautiful to be ignored by anyone.

"How are you?" She asks, reaching me, leaning with her hands on her knees as she greets us. I notice how her dress slides around her slight figure, then lets out at the end slightly, fanning outwards like the curve of a pearl. Fine, whispery material spots the dress occasionally in grey. I mentally look down at my own fittings- a tight, mostly plain blue dress, with a gold shimmer when it hit the sun. Nowhere near as beautiful as hers.

I feel like mud on her pristine diamond heel.

She clearly doesn't think about me that way, throwing her slim arms around my shoulders. " Merida," She gasps, " I'm so glad you're here! Have you decided who-?"

"Yes- later."

"Oh. Oh, ok."

She straightens up, flattening out her sleeves. They glide off her shoulders like ice cream cones, only much more delicate.

I try not to sigh.

Elsa leads us all out of the boats, grinning her thin grin. It isn't a mean grin, but just right, so that it's obvious she's over the moon we're here, but isn't yelling and dancing in circles. She's exactly the composed queen my mother wishes me to be.

"Where's Anna?" I ask.

"With our cousin, getting ready. Oh my goodness, Merida, she looks so nice! I can't _wait _for the wedding."

" Me neither." I lie. I couldn't care less about the wedding. I need to talk to Elsa. I need to know which tournament she's competing in. A horrible thought finds it's way into my mind- what if she's chosen to compete in Hiccup's? I know she'd win. It would be _easier _than taking candy from a baby.

"So, what are you wearing?" Elsa asks, " I bet it's great."

"Umm…" I say awkwardly, " This?"

Elsa creases her eyebrows, and gives a little laugh, " This?" She searches around, "Where?"

I frown, pointing to my thin white skirt, " _This. _Is it ok?"

"Well…" Elsa scratches the back of her neck, " Umm…"

"Do you have anything better?" I say, " I mean, I'm not _attached _to this or whatever. My _Mother _picked it out."

"Oh, you're mother has…" she pauses, checking over my shoulder for her, " Interesting fashion taste. It's certainly different from what we wear here."

"Could I change? Please?"

She beams up at me, " Just what I was hoping you'd say."

I can't believe how big the palace is. Cream walls. Painted pictures with bright, summery colours. Soft carpets, stretching out like wings on birds, or a dog panting under a tree. Huge, solid windows, some clear, like frozen water, others stained every shade under the sun, so when light shines through them, a rainbow splashes up the opposite wall. Elsa ignores it all, but whenever we pass one, I can't help flailing my hand through the colour, watching my drab, pale skin come alive with light.

No black clad torches. No grey stone. No stuffed bears.

A girl like me? Here, I don't belong.

Elsa leads me past countless rooms with closed doors, each one brown and smooth, like a wren's wing in the summer time, or the hide of a sinuous oak. I have to stop myself from wondering what those gliding doors hold- treasure? Paints made of seashells? Fruit harvested only yesterday, ready to be eaten whilst plump?

But eventually, we come up to an open door. "Come on!" she laughs, leading me inside, grabbing my wrist, " Time to get you sorted out!"

Anna twists round from where she sits. " Merida!" She giggles, " Fancy seeing _you _here!"

I hold in a gasp. She looks…

" Doesn't she look great, El!" A girl turns spins up to Elsa, " Do you like my touch? The flowers!"

Elsa laughs, shaking her head, " It looks wonderful."

The girl stands up straight as she spots me, standing behind Elsa. She pops out her arm like clockwork, " Princess Rapunzel!" she says, in a serious voice, " At your service!" She quickly doubles over in giggles as I slowly shake her hand.

"Merida." I say.

The girl- Rapunzel- is just as beautiful as Elsa and Anna. She has short, dark hair, but some parts are a golden colour where she's spent to long in the sun. Her eyes- it's as if two fresh leaves accidently floated into her sockets when no one was looking, and stayed there for good. Thick, black lashes frame the green depths, reminding me of individual butterfly legs. Freckles like light, dry mud patter across her nose, and in her hair, among the brown tufts, are countless luscious orchids and roses and daffodils and a million other flowers I could never name. Her whole-body reminds me of a summer bouquet. The only thing missing is the golden leaf of hair.

And there isn't much to say about Anna. As she turns to laugh with her cousin, her eyes flash blue, like the midmorning sky in the middle of spring. Her lips are a gentle baby pink, and in-between her softly tinged rouge hair is thousands of small white posies, dripping out of her fridge and parting and tiara.

I don't even want to bother explaining her dress. There's not much to it.

It's an extremely light pink, with flashes of gold and blue when she hits the sun, leaking through the window. It kindly washes out, near her waist, and soothes onto the floor like a balm for sore knuckles.

Seeing me look, she squeaks," In moonlight, it goes silver! It's _so _lovely! What are you wearing?"

"I'm just getting round to that," Elsa says, " What do you think, Punzie?"

'Punzie' stands up straight and cocks her head to the side, lowering her bright green eyes down my body. She lingers on my jutting feet, my tamed hair, and my wide shoulders- I feel as if I'm being hunted down by a gazelle with makeup.

Once my inspection is complete, Rapunzel drags Anna away for a 'girlie talk'. I'm not entirely sure what that makes Elsa and me.

They come out of their huddle, their faces set on a harsh decision. "Sit down." Anna says in a strong voice. Rapunzel holds her hand over her mouth to keep from chuckling.

"You see this?" Anna points at my dress as if she's angry. More laughter. More smiles. I can't count how many I've encountered whilst here. "This is not the dress you are going to wear! No!" she clicks her fingers, " Punzie!"

"One second!" Rapunzel shouts. I cringe as there's a loud crash from behind. " Whoops!"

"PUNZIE!"

" Got it! Phew!" she whips pretend sweat of her forehead. " Here you go." She hands Anna a bundle dressed in brown paper, laced up with creamy string. It fizzes and crackles as Anna unties the bow. A river falls out, spilling out of her upheld hands and crashing onto the floor in frothy white waves.

I spin round on my stool. "Wow," I gasp, "It's…"  
"I know!" they squeal together. Then, " Jinx! Jinx again!"

As they hold they're tight little pretty stomach's, I marvel at the dress. Slip it on. The inside feels smooth, as if cream applied to sunburnt skin. The diamonds I saw on the back, which I expected to eat into my body, seem to lie dormant, somewhere else- on someone else. I stare at my reflection. Saying it transforms me is an understatement.

My shoulders look skinny, my muscles tight and lean. My stomach looks flat, without even a corset. The only thing wrong-

"Your hair." Rapunzel says, " It should be down. It's too good to be true."

And the red flame mixes with the soothing water.

"You look great." Elsa says, as I stand, " Here, put this on."

She hands me a necklace. I tie it round my throat without really looking. " Thanks." I mutter.

"Wonderful!" Anna bleats, " Now, let's go and get married!"

"I hate weddings."

"I hate irritating children changing their dresses. Now shut up and sit still."

I ball my hands into fists, and look at Elsa for help. She shrugs at me from across the ile.

" Sorry." She mouths.

The music starts playing. A bird squawks, deep in the forest, past the white carpet and the pine alter and the chilly sun and the spiny decorations, hanging everywhere like misplaced spider webs. A lantern pops and hisses near me, the candle spluttering to life. I can taste storm on the early morning horizon, but I don't tell anyone. Even I'm not cruel enough to ruin someone's wedding.

"Who'd you choose?" I mouth back.

She shuffles in her seat and cups her hand around her ear. " Sorry?"

I look back around to mother. She sits quietly, with her hands placed on her lap.

"Who'd you choose?" I hiss.

Someone elbows me. "Respect!"

I fall back in my seat, crossing my arms. Like they have any right.

"Sit up, dear." My mother says, " Slouching is a unpleasant habit."

I want to scream, but instead I focus on the man standing at the end of the carpet. The end of the road, for Anna. Completely.

He's got pastel blonde hair, falling gingerly in his wide chestnut eyes. He looks stupid. He looks gullible. The suit's too tight, squeezing his muscles. The shoes are too small. I can see the toe filled ends.

But Anna doesn't seem to mind. She takes huge steps towards him, as if she can't go fast enough. In fact, she's going so quick, the old lady playing the music speeds up, so the song will end in time.

Like I said, Anna doesn't mind. She just sees him.

And his tight suit.

As soon as they meet, both pairs of eyes light up. As if they can't _stop_ from crying.

The priest steadily walks forwards.

"Mother," I whisper, " Look at his hat! It's a marvel he can keep it o-"

"Merida." She snaps, trying to watch the ceremony, " Shut your bonnie gob."

I rub my nose, itching to find something to snap back. But my bonnie gob's run out of things to say.

The priest coughs. "We are gathered here today," He begins, " To celebrate the marriage of Princess Anna of Arrendale, and Lord Kristoff of…" He stuffs his hand into his robe, obviously looking for a card to read. His face falls as he draws one out.

"To celebrate the marriage of Princess Anna of Arrendale, and Lord Kristoff of the rock troll thingies?" He lifts his eyes, trying for a laugh.

Only Anna and Rapunzel find it remotely funny.

Like everything else.

The priest carries on, " So, Princess Anna, do you have your vows prepared?"

She beams at everyone, each tooth glimmering like an individual moon, " I do. Shall I proceed?"

"You shall?"

She turns round to Kristoff, " Well," She says, " There's not really much to say that hasn't been said before. But I've been thinking about forevers. About death. About everything in-between.

Our forevers begin when we are born, and we are born into other forevers. The old man next door, we are born into his forever. The young child, whose middle aged by now. You're born into her forever, too. And, most importantly, you're born into the worlds forever. It enables you to do whatever you please, with its forever in your hands as much as your in its.

But here's what I'm thinking. When my forever ends, when your forever ends, what does that leave? Other forevers, rolling on and on and on.

But what happens when there is no more forever's left? What happens when there's no one left to _have _a forever? Is there just, well… nothing? Has time stopped? Has forever ceased to exist? Is that the meaning of life? So that… so that there _is _a forever?"

She appeals to the crowd, " See what I mean?"

We nod, some slower than others.

"And among all of this, I was thinking- when I go, when my forever's left me, will I truly _go_? Or will my forever stain some of yours, and then that part of your forever stains those you hold dear? Your children? Their children? Will my story, my small unimportant story, carry on? In your hearts? In your minds?

It doesn't matter if it doesn't. If I don't live on in you. That's not my point.

My point is this." She turns back to Kristoff, his eyes bright. " I know one person will carry on my forever. I hope he'll carry it gladly. I hope he'll carry it wisely. Because do you know what? There's no one else I'd rather leave my forever with." She leans up to his ear, and whispers quietly behind a cupped hand, so only those real close can hear," Here's my forever." She sighs gently, "Keep it safe."

My heart begins to bleed. Who have I left my forever with?

"Thank you, Anna." The priest says, " That was rather… beautiful. And doesn't everyone agree this day will stay in their forever's for a long time?"

There's a tremendous uproar of clapping. Anna giggles shyly and wipes a tear away from her nose.

"And now," Says the priest, " Kristoff."

I tune out for most of his speech, lost in my own thoughts. His isn't half as good as Anna's, talking about the day they met, how she hit him with a stick and brought him some carrots. Rubbish.

And that's how I see them. In the woods, hidden by scraps of dirty shadows. Angry people, with sharp faces and small knives. The blades glint occasionally in the sun.

"Mother," I whisper, not taking my eyes of the outskirts, "Mum."

"Oh, my lord Merida-" she snaps, " What is it now?"

I point silently to the woods.

Her mouth forms a silent, 'O'.

"Oh." She breathes, " What do we do?"

" I don't know!" I whisper in despair, " Shall we te-"

The man behind clocks me on the head, " Keep quiet!" he glares.

I finger for the knife I hid in my boot. The sharp blade is mean enough to match theirs.

One of them catches my eye. A stillness overwhelms me. A stillness washes over her, too, until both of us are staring, me daring them to go, her daring me to yell out for help.

I lift my eyebrow. A challenge.

And then, like a firework, they come running. From everywhere, like an avalanche, pouring out the trees, the sky, the rushes-

"Guards!" Elsa screams, leaping up, " GUARDS!"

She flings her hands up to the blades, as if that's going to save her. How can she look so strong? So confident, with just her palms?

Shoots of ice flee from her fingers, forming a wall to the oncoming riot. " Back!" She grits her teeth as she pushes, " Back!"

The ice wall- _ice wall- _pushes them back.

" Close your mouth, dear." My mother says, " It'll catch unwanted guests."

Elsa stops heaving. The one I was glaring at has lowered her weapons, behind the moving frozen glacier. She still looks deadly though, her black hair tight on her shoulders. Greasy. Lanky. As if she hasn't seen a tub in years.

"Why are you here?" Elsa hollers, balling her hands into angry fists. I gulp back a amazed breath as ice crystallises round the gaps in the ball, as if she's trying to hold a explosion inside, " WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING MY SISTER'S WEDDING?!"

"Calm 'own," The girl says, rolling her eyes and stepping out from behind the wall. She struts round to meet Elsa. " We just wanna talk."

"About what?" She seethes, " About what, exactly?"

"'bout you." She says. She jabs a thin finger into Elsa's chest, " And your money 'tealing, power grabbin' heart."

"Hey!" I say, holding my dagger and getting up, " What do you mean?"

" Ya know precisely what I mean." She growls, " Don't ya think it's a bit fishy the Princess is gettin' married before the damn _Queen?"  
_"No."

"Well, then, you're out of your ruddy mind! She's all power obsessed! She's all around mad! She's…" The girl looks up, right at Elsa. " She's everything this crumblin' kingdom don't need."

The tension flickers. Elsa's hands wash apart, and the wall of ice slithers to the ground. Water, and then to nothing. She looks down.

" I need to tell them, Merida."

"About what?"

"About our plan."

I gulp, twiddling the knife between my fingers, " Okay."

Elsa turns back to them, looking at Anna's stunned face for a fleeting moment before she says, " You're right."

"Ha!"

"No. No, you're not right about the power. I'll share my power. If I could, my power would be gone. For good. It would be so much easier."

The girl snorts, spits at the ground, crossing her arms around her chest, " What am I 'ight 'bout, then?"

"I do need to marry. I do need to share. I was going to announce it soon, and I don't think this is the right time. My sister doesn't deserve this. This was her day. I shouldn't be interfering."

" I don't care whose interferin' who." The girl snaps, " I wanna know what the hell you were gonna announce."

" I was going to announce… I'm competing in a marriage tournament."

There's a collective gasp.

The girl stands back, shocked. Her black- brown eyes look like small holes in a sea of milky white, "Who?" she chokes out.

"Hiccup." She says boldly, " A prince named Hiccup."

Cold snakes. There's cold snakes withering in the pit of my belly. _Hiccup. _Did I hear right?

"Hiccup?" The girl says, hardly daring to believe, " Hiccup, the Viking? The dragon whisper?"

"The one and only."

The snake grows feet. It patters on my gut with feelers. Chilly icicles slip through the hem of the dress, working their way slowly down my spine. I feel my heart begging to melt, my ribs begin to crack and shatter.

_Hiccup. _

My legs crumble, although I try to stand straight. My arms flail, trying to hold my body upright, but find nothing. I fall to the ground heavy, my head catching something solid as I go. Pain roars. Dirt smears. Grass tickles my cheek.

"Merida!"

I open my eyes a fraction. Splinters of light crack through my vision. Elsa. The girl. My mother, and Anna, and thick eyed Kristoff with bright eyed Rapunzel. The priest. All looking down on me.

" She hit her head." Anna gulps. " On the pews. Really really _really_ hard."

Black bruises layer my sight. Purple. Blue. Over and over and over, till it's nearly gone.

Nearly gone.

Nearly there.

Black and blue and purple.

_Hiccup. _

And then, the world goes dark.

"What do you mean, you had no time to tell me? What about the time in the corridor? What about the time by the boat? What about the time before the wedding?"

" I was going to tell you afterwards! Sit back!" She pushes my shoulder down angrily. I drop onto the goose feather pillows, the soft mattress holding me lightly.

I don't want its sympathy. The one chance I had. Now I look like a fool as well as a love stricken princess.

I curse silently under my breath. I never dreamt I would end up looking so weak. Not in this life.

"Merida, please. We can help each other. I've heard these things have ended up being battles before."

"Yeah, well, what if it's just the two of us left, Hu? Who'll he pick? You or me? The red headed haggis, or the ice queen?"

"It's not like that."

"It's _so _like that."

"You're being unreasonable."

"You're being a pig."

"How?"

"You've never met him! You said yourself, it was random! Take it back! Marry someone else!"

" I can't now!" She yells, flinging her hand at the door. I try to ignore the shards of ice flying out her fingers and splintering the wood, " Not now that I've told them that! It was _your _idea in the first place!"

I look at her seething face. My anger slips away, like someone's popped a hole in me and I'm draining it all out. There's no point in arguing. She'd win. She'd always win. She has reasons, and problems. I don't.

" Alright." I say.

"Alright?"

"Alright. We better prepare, then."

"We?"  
"Yeah, 'we'. We're going in as a team, aren't we?"

"Yeah." Elsa says. " Yeah, I guess we are."


	5. Threads and needles

**Chapter Five**

**Hiccup**

_The girl lies across the ice. I can't see her face. But I can see her hair. It burns against the frozen lake, like there should be a hole where her head is. As if her heads on fire. As if she's caught a-flame. _

_"Hey!" I scream, " Hey!" _

_She just lies there, a stillness surrounding her like a fog. I don't want to touch her. I don't want to leave the safety of the chilled bank, the iced grass and the snow filled trees. The ice might snap. We both might fall. _

_ But I know the girl. There's something about the way she lays, as if she'll die fighting. As if she don't care where she ends up, as long as the job she set out to do is done. _

_With one tender foot, I step out onto the ice. It groans underneath me, like an old mans spine. But nothing more. _

_And then I'm running. I'm desperate. I have to get to her, no matter what. _

_When I get there, though, there are two girls. One has a dark blonde plait. She wears a tight black cloak, and boots like me. Boots that cling to your legs, fighting out the cold. Next to her, lies an axe. _

_And then the other girl. The original girl. She's dressed the same colour as clouds, wispy and fast. Exciting and menacing at the same time. Beside her lies a bow. _

_I reach out to touch her cheek. The red haired girl has cold face. Like the ice has worked it's way in, deciding never to come out. _

_The blonde haired girl has a warm cheek. It feels like fire. Almost like the flames on the other girls head has set her alight from inside. _

_At the same time, they roll over, like some ghost has done the job I loathed to do. _

_Their faces don't fit. It's like they've swapped over. Both have blue eyes, but one pair is dead, the other alive. But it doesn't seem to be the right way around. The girl with the plait should be dead. The girl with the bow should be alive. _

_And then the girl with the red hair- the dead one- twists herself round, her glassed eyes searching for the bow. Her nimble fingers curl round the wooden edges. _

_She shoots. At me. _

_And my blood spills out onto the floor. _

The morning breaks. It shatters into my life.

I wake up sweating. Sweat in the shoes I forgot to take of last night. Sweat in my hair. Sweat in my elbows, between my teeth, clogging up my lungs so I'm panting.

And I'm cold. My body feels like ice.

I'm burning. I'm freezing. I feel like my father. Trapped between waking and sleeping. Somewhere in-between.

I remember the day. I remember the morning.

The choosing day.

So that was why I had that feeling. In the middle- stuck. I'm half glad I understand it, half terrified that it's finally found me in my walking life.

Let me explain- Vikings do not just become _Vikings. _We have to train. We have to work. We have to fight.

But there are always…_not _Vikings. People who work on houses. People who clean the halls. People who prepare the feasts.

The elders used to choose who went into training- the chief and the leader of the programme. That was my father, and Gobber.

But since my dad's started fading, he can no longer do it. And Gobber's convinced me to do it in his place, partly because of my heritage, partly because I 'showed' them something when my training took place. Showed them what, I'm not sure. It was something along the lines of looking inside instead of just on the surface layer.

'Never judge an ocean by its waves,' my mother used to say, ' you never know what lurks beneath.'

And here I am. In the weeks before my fate is decided by my father, deciding the fate of the children younger than me.

I'm scared. I know I'll get it wrong somewhere. They're will be a me in that crowd. Where would I put myself? Even I don't know. So how am I meant to decide for others?  
"Hiccup?" Lee bangs on my door, " Hiccup, get up. Get changed. No ones waiting or your royal rump to arrive."

"Glad ya finally joined us." Gobber clumps me round the head as I slink into the Royal Tent. It overshadows the Pit below, watching the cage of metal drape over the hole. The stone. The weapons, glinting like they're melted in the early morning sun. I can taste the chill in the air- it slides into my lungs, freezing me on the inside.

"Lovely mornin' ain't it?" Gobber snorts. He would. The cold. The merciless cloudless skies, the sly wind, leaking through our limbs when we're not looking- to him, it's home. To him, it is life lived at the fullest.

"How long till it begins?" I ask. My gloves feel tight and thin on my fingers. Squeezing. I lift them up to my mouth and breath on them. Wring them. Hoping they'll warm up.

"Not long." Gobber says, " Time for them to get all pretty, and time for us to get prepared. Hey," Gobber nudges me on the shoulder. I can smell the mead on his breath, mixing with the breathless way of the dawn. The light air causes everyone to breath quickly. " Hey, I was wondering- any fancies for your tournament?"

I stare up at him. Is Gobber… _Gobber- _trying to be nice? I can see the effort reflecting in his steely eyes.

"Um… no. Well, there's this one girl-" I stop. He won't be interested. He's teasing.

"Go on."

"She's from Scotland."

"Yes."

"She's pretty. And good at hunting."

"The name, boy! The name!"  
"Merida." I say her name quickly.

"What?"

I take a deep breath. " Merida." I say a little louder.

Gobber looks at me like I'm mad. Sinks back into his seat, lays his arms on the rests. He looks confused. Tired.

"No one I know?"

"No."

"From Scotland?"

"Yeah. I think so."

"Has she red hair?"

"How'd you know?"

"Blue eyes like some creatures infested them? Wondering, as if following some other path than her own?"

"Yes… Gobber, do you know her?"

"One more question, boy. Does she shoot? Shoot real well?"

"Gobber, how'd you know?"  
He doesn't answer, his face torn. Something's bothering him. He's thinking. Mulling it over.

We could be here for a _long _time.

Suddenly, a horn blasts through the air, interrupting the near silence. I slide into my seat. I watch as the gates swing upwards, and children come through. Most are tough, with muscles like a mountain and hair like unwatched sea weed. Others are weak, slinking in behind everyone else, like me and Gobber are throwing fire and they're wise enough to hide behind the walls of others.

I saw it in that light, as if it was a death sentence. But I knew where I'd end up, whether I'd like it or not. My father wouldn't have liked it any other way.

Gobber rises, like a great surge of lava, slipping of the cloak of carefulness he wore for me. Now, he's all-powerful. He shakes of all other than strength.

"GOOD DAY YOU SCALLY WAGS!" He shouts, wobbling on his half leg, " TODAY IS THE START OF THE REST OF YOUR LIVES! DON'T SLAG LIKE SLUGS! GET UP! LOOK STRONG!"

I didn't notice, but now there's a kind of rise within the kids, as if someone's put electric eels in they're boots. They stand up straight. Even the ones at the back gaze up at the legend Gobber.

Except for one.

I don't know her name. She stands on the edge, feeling her hands like she's trying to wash of the skin. Her tangled hair frames her face like a brown hood, all hazy in the glow of the shivering sun. Her eyes are brown, but not dark, or light, but a kind of green hazel, like she isn't sure where she stands.

She's looking at me.

" NOW WE CHOOSE!" Gobber screams, "WE CHOOSE IF YOU MIX YEAST OR MIX BLOOD ON THE BATTLEFIELD!"

Gobber spins round. " Hiccup?"

With shaky palms, I stand. My feet feel as if they're melting into the ground. I no longer feel like I can stand.

" Get up HERE!" He shouts, " Come on!"

I somehow manage to stand up beside him. Survey the kids. They stand, trembling in their armour. They don't want to be here anymore than I do.

"Let's get going." I say.

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" Gobber smacks my back. He turns back to the kids, and without taking his eyes of them, he draws out a thin list. I lean over. It has a few names on it. He starts from the top.

"Death Dodger Jr.!"

A tall boy steps forward, a thin, angry look in his eyes. I can tell there's no filter. If he punches, he punches. What does it matter? What does it matter to him?

"PICK YOUR CHOSEN WEAPON!"

Death Dodger slips his hand around a hammer handle. Lifts it. His muscles twitch and his veins stretch as he drags it onto his shoulder, ready to swing.

"GO!" Gobber screams. Spit flies out of his mouth onto the edge of the arena.

The boy flings the hammer. It twangs with a metallic crash on the wall of the Pit. Gobber raises his eyebrows. "Hiccup," He whispers, " What do ya think?"

I turn to him. " He'll be good on the field."

"I agree."

Gobber leans over the railings. " YOU'RE A FIELD BOY!" he cries, " Go on! Round the back!"

The boy grins and hurries away, nearly dropping the hammer on his foot as he goes.

"Not a bright 'un." Gobber says.

"No." I say back.

He looks back to his list. Another thug. And another. And another. Finally-

"Brown-" Gobber squints, " Down?" He jabs his finger into the paper, " How's this aggressive?"

I lean over. In clear block capitals, it says, ' Brown Dove.'

" Brown Dove?"

The girl steps forward. For the first time, she's not looking at me. She's watching the ground instead.

"Go on," I prompt, " Show us what you've got."

With a small pale hand, she reaches inside her coat. Brings out a bottle.

"A WEAPON, YOU SNAIL!" Gobber screeches.

She looks up at him. "This is my weapon."

His hand crashes down on the side, " DO NOT MAKE A FOOL OF YOUR ELDERS!"

She doesn't reply, popping out the cork and dripping some liquid into her hands. It looks like water. It moves like water, only slower, deeper, and denser; like liquid sky.

Gobber watches, transfixed, as she spreads the water onto her arms. Her legs. Even her neck, and her face. Then, finally, she goes for a weapon. In her thin fingers, she selects a small kitchen knife, meant for slicing carrots and hard pears. She shows him her choice.

Gobber just stares back. For once, he has nothing to say.

Then she lifts up the knife, and slits her neck.

"Stop!" I cry, "Stop, stop, stop!"  
But she keeps on going. She picks the skin on her ankles and wrists, so that the knife server's the skin from underneath. Blood rushes out onto the floor like it's desperate to breath. Like it's fed up of being in her boring little body.

But she doesn't stop.

And then, when she's drained, when she should be empty, she looks up at us. Red liquid pools on the floor, grinning crimson in the sunlight.

She bows.

"I wanted to show you," She says, " That not all power is in the body."

She looks at me.

I want to look away. _She should be dead! _My head screeches, like breaks on a chariot, or sirens warning an enemy, _she should be dead she should be dead she should be dead dead dead!_

"Hiccup." Gobber's voice is hoarse, " Is she a witch, or a fairy?"  
"I don't know." My voice cracks.

"Where do we place her?"

"I don't know."

Gobber looks down at Brown Dove. " Yer to be on the… on the houses." He coughs, " For mendin' and such."

Her eyes burn with bitter hatred. " But don't you see?" She howls, " Don't you see you can use me and my potions in ways we don't understand?" She stomps her foot on the ground. Her blood splashes where her boots thud. " Don't you get it? You stupid _stupid _man!"

" I understand." Gobber says, suddenly composed. He's back in his area. Stroppy teens. " And we will use you in ways _you _can't possibly understand. Now get back."

She glares up at him, before fading backwards. She never takes her eyes of his face. And then, when she's back in safety, she doesn't take her eyes of mine.

The rest of the Choosing goes by like a whisper. I nod and agree with Gobber. The kids come and go. But I never take my eyes of her.

She knows something.

"Brown Dove!" I yell. " Hey, wait up!"

She grinds on ahead, through the woods. Occasionally, shards of sunlight splinter her in gold, the leaves fracturing the growing heat up above, rising out of the morning freeze.

"I thought you of all people would've understood!"

"Understood what?"

She stops, spinning round to meet me with abrupt force, " That you need me more than ever."

" I get that, I get that." I soothe, " Who said people off the field aren't useful?"

"Like _everyone_?"

"Well," I say, "I don't. Was that a potion you used back there?"

"What do you care?"

"What I'm saying is- look. I've never seen that before, whatever _that _is-"

"I'm not a witch."

"I didn't say you were."

"Well, I'm not anyways."

I sigh. " You're not a witch. Got it. But I've never seen that before. We need you to brew the mixes, if you want to help. We need you to be behind the scenes."

She considers. " I'm a good shot." She says.

"Well." I say, " Why didn't you shoot back there?"

She looks up at me, her brown eyes wide. " Let me see your wrists." I say.

She holds them out. I peel back the brown cloth of her dress. They're completely clean. No scarring. No wounds.

"That's…" I shake my head, " Your incredible."

She smiles. " I was going to give you something if you'd put me on the field."

I crease my eyebrows, " You were? Like what?"

"Come on," She says, " I'll show you."

I realise I've never seen Brown Dove in the village. She's never been there for the midsummer feasts, or the holiday celebrations. She hasn't been there for harvest, or winter, or to watch the lambs take their first steps.

Because she lives out here. A recluse. A hideaway. The woods are her home.

Her cottage lies in a tiny dent in the forest, a small valley so crowded with trees of every shape and height that it's hard to even see her house. It's kind of licking around the bends and curves of the plants themselves, the cobble and daub sodden but drying, thanks to the passing storms. Her windows are bare. The door is bark.

She leads me in.

Inside, nothing much changes. We don't enter a secret portal. There's no unicorn, no giant sparkly flowers. There's a hole in the roof, perfectly circular, so beams of golden sunlight spray onto the floor like some other-worldly graffiti. And in the pool of sunlight, there is a caldron.

Brown Dove hurries over to the cupboards. I watch over her shoulder. Bottles, milk, bottles, bread, bottles, herbs, bottles and books. There's so many potions and encyclopaedia's my eyes begin to gape.

Slowly, Brown Dove reaches in and draws out one of the manuals. The cover's torn and old, calloused with immeasurable age. It looks like it's made of leather, the pages made of glossier silk. She spreads it out on the table, and words written in gold dance in the hazy light. Black drawings in thick squid ink- confident, thoughtful sketches. Each page is filled with titles of silver, subtitles of some kind of amber resin, and at the bottom of each page is a set of hieroglyphics, glimmering as if written with some kind of crushed purple stone.

Brown Dove ignores it all. She dives in hungrily, looking for a page. Beautiful leaf after beautiful leaf, she turns. The smell of waxed mahogany fills my nose, as she flips the pages even quicker, faster, and more desperate. She has a kind of aura, suddenly. She'll find what she wants, and will keep it. The little girl I saw at the Choosing no longer exists. In her place, is a sorceress.

Finally, she finds what she's looking for. She slides the book over to me, her eyes giddy. I stare down at the writings.

_Yggdrasil _

_The world tree, the beginning of it all. Found at the centre of the earth- known to be a huge ash. Celestial. Eternal. It is known to have three roots, stretching into the land of gods, the land of giants, and the underworld. It is protected by the celestials, who gather Belovenance from mortals, which they collect when the mortals are grateful. They give it to the tree to keep it alive, and as a beg to be transported to the land of the gods, no longer needing to fore fill their services. Celestials are mortals who died to gather respect, appreciation, or gratefulness. _

I look up at Brown Dove. " This is what you wanted me to see?"

She shakes her head. " No," She says, "Look."

I follow her finger.

_Yggdrasil Dew_

_A holy concoction of life, made from Elfin Elixir and the leaf of the Yggdrasil. One drop will heal any wounds. It will stop any illness. It will raise one from eternal sleep. It will bring back the dead. It will revive magical powers, and even give some. Nothing will stop it healing. _

_Recipe- Yggdrasil leaf-Elfin Elixir- Holy Water_

_Note: Elfin Elixir is created with magic water and Birdsong Nectar. _

I finish reading. Gasping.

I look up at Brown Dove. " Do you have any?" I say. She doesn't answer.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY?"

"NO!" She screams back, " I don't."

"Then what did you use today?"

"Holy water. It stops monsters seeing you, and protects the skin with-"

"Will it heal my father?"  
"What?"

"Will it heal my father, Brown Dove?"

She blinks. " Kind of."

"Where can I find it?"

"But why heal your father?"

I stare at her, " What else am I going to do? Isn't that why you brought me here?"

"No." She shuffles. " Isn't there anyone you want to…" She pauses, " Bring back?"

"Astrid." I whisper.

"Aha!" She says, like I've finally got the point, " But you won't need it!"

I stare at her. " Look. Just tell me good and straight. What do you know?"

"Astrid didn't die in the winter."

"Oh?"

"And your father didn't catch his illness."

"Really?"

"And Yggdrasil Dew _can't _bring back Astrid."

"Why not?"

"Because she's already here."

I ignore her. Of course Astrid isn't here. I would've seen her. I would've felt her. Instead, I say-

"Can it heal my father?"

"Kind of." She says.

"Kind of?" I reply, " What do you mean, kind of?"

"Hiccup," She says, " Your father is clever."

"I know." _Although I have serious doubts to what extent. _

"And brave."

_"_Indeed." _Well yes. But he does have a liking for subtle pink underwear._

"He'll do whatever he has to be do to get his way. No matter who's injured. No matter who is in the way. He's unstoppable. He won't take no for an answer."

"I've had experience." _Especially at the dinner table. He'll reach across for the pig's leg, no matter what's in the way- most likely my face._

"And the Dew won't save him. Nothing will. Because there is nothing to save."

I look at her in disbelief. " You may not like the tribe," I say, " But there's no need to say my father is worthless."

"LISTEN! The dew won't save him. Astrid isn't going to get healed by the dew either- I thought you were smart. I'm trying to tell you without _telling _you, because I literally _can't _tell you. I want to. I want to so bad."

"You're speaking in riddles." I snap, " I'm going."

"Just THINK about it!" She howls. Her eyes are suddenly leaking with tears. They roll down her pale face, smashing on the floor like glass, " Please, just think about it. Think about it hard." She breathes. In out. In out. Composure. I smile at her and stride out the door.

"And oh," She reaches into her pocket, " I nearly forgot."

"What?" I spin round.

"Your present."

I look at her hand.

"It's a rock."

"A special rock."

"What's so amazing about it, then?" I'm seriously questioning the magical properties of a yellow pebble.

"It understands your dreams. It helps you understand them in real life, or like, change the way you see things for a second or two. Or, it can influence them sometimes. You know- give clu-"

I stride back to her and take the stone. " Thanks, I get it. Magical dream stone and all."

"Your welcome."

She stands by the table. Waiting.

"Bye, then."

"Bye."

And I finally walk out the door.

_The leaf is rolled up. The fluid is like glass. I can't reach it. The cork is too tight. _

_Merida walks in. She takes the dew from me, and gently eases of the golden stopper. She drips a drop into her hands. The wounds that were never there are healed. Her face grows plumper. All the starvation of a weak harvest falls away. She is beautiful. More beautiful than ever. I wish for the thousandth time that she could compete. _

_Then Astrid walks in. Her face is perfect. Her eyes are perfect. Her stomach is perfect, filled and ready. She drips the liquid onto her hands. She begins to change._

_Her face becomes wilder. Her eyes grow bigger. Her hair sprouts red, and her lips grow plumper. Her chin shrinks. Her shoulders stretch. _

_There are two Meridas. _

_Finally, in comes my father. His body is weak. The potion will heal him. _

_He takes the bottle. He hasn't dainty fingers, like the girls. Instead, he smashes the bottle angrily on his bare arm. I barely see the blood before the dew heals it up. _

_But his face stays grey. His eyes still puff red. His neck is still blotchy with rashes, climbing steadily up his body. The dew was my last chance. _

_But it could not stop the flame. _

**Merida**

"Shoot more downwards," I snap, " You always aim too high."

Elsa grumbles, draw's back her hand, and let's the arrow fly. The bow looks clumsy in her hands. Maybe this is the one thing she won't per-

"Look!" She screeches, " I did it! I hit it!"

My lips form a tight line. " It appears," I say, " You did."

"GIRLS!" Lady Olive calls. She hurries down the steps, holding up her long brown dress. She pants slightly as she reaches us. " Girls, it's time to go."  
***

For once, I find myself looking beautiful. For once, Elsa doesn't suit the dress code. For once, she doesn't look at home.

We're dressed in hoods. Dark hoods. Hoods that hide our faces, and cloaks that fall shapelessly around our body. Cloaks that conceal us. Cloaks that hide us.

Underneath, of course, Elsa wears a stunning white dress, flecked with purple. And underneath, of course, I wear a plain blue wool frock, which finishes just above my shins.

But it's ok. Because we're on our way. We're prepared. We're ready.

We're a team. Nothing can stop us now.

Blinding sun. Cold wind. Heather. Sea, glittering on the horizon, wafting on the black pebbled shore. Forests, in expanse, dense and unforgiving, spreading across every hill. Pines. Clouds skipping across the sky.

_This,_ I think, _is Berk._

I'm finally here. I'm finally doing it. I pull the hood tighter round my face as we step out the carriage. The wind nearly knocks me off my feet. On my back, I feel my bow. Ever present. Ever watching. Like a great black bird, my cloak flails, around my feet, around my body. I feel powerful. This feels like a place where I can belong.

Nearly there.

When Elsa and me step into the ring, there are six girls. Six competitors. Six losers.

Six victims.

Each one wears the same dark outfit, but already I can match myself up. She's taller. She's beefier. She holds herself like a goddess.

I feel myself shrink by Elsa's side. In my mind, I always imagined it would be just me and her, almost. We would be the only ones.

But we're not.

And all around us, there is Vikings. Fat Vikings. Small Vikings. Vikings calling for everyone to be quiet. I want to shy away from they're small, invasive eyes. There big fists, there mighty arms. A snake wraps around my pelvis, and bile rises like a wave in my throat. I don't want to do this anymore.

And then a boy steps up.

He's not tall, he's not small, and he's not beefy or arrogant. He just stands there, with calm, un-shaking silence, waiting for everyone to stop. Patient. Warm. Gentle.

Hiccup.

My heart lurches. Behind his mask, he looks so nervous. And…angry? His fists are tight round something. I peer upwards, and finally realize it's a small, yellow stone. What's he doing?

Soon, everyone's quiet. They wait for him to speak.

He walks forward. Looks down. As his eyes sweep over me, I cock my head down slightly. Hide away from his peaceful glare.

"Hello," He says, " My name is Hiccup. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock The Third. I don't know you're names yet. But I will soon enough."

A breeze. A shiver.

My hands knit together.

A man stands up next to Hiccup. Greasy plaits fall down his shoulders, and in place of one leg, there's a thin stump of wood. Stubble lingers over his strong chin. He's a Viking. A proper one.

"Thank you, Hiccup." The man says. He looks down at us, "I'm Gobber." He says, " And let me explain- Love isn't a pretty thing, not in Berk. We think if love's proper right, you will die for it, if need be. It won't matter any more."

I think… I think he's right. Because love is only true if you would die for it. Or kill.

"And so, here we are. Thinkin' about dying. Which one of you probably will. And how do we get to the dying stage, you ask? Well, I need each and every one of you to choose an event. An event you excel in. Something we can watch, and something someone will win. So you all have fair chance. And at the end of each event, you're ranked. The lowest ranked at the end of each day is sent home. And then we fill in the gaps to make this real fun." He pauses. Watches us. " You have two minutes." He barks, " To think up your idea. And then, when you introduce yourselves and lift those nifty hoods, you go ahead and tell us your event. And then Hiccup over here," He nudges him, " Will choose an event too, after you ladies have had your pick." He smiles, " I'll leave you to think among yerselves, then."

Before he's even finished, I know. I know I'll pick archery.

Elsa turns to me in dismay as soon as he releases us. "What do I do?" she whispers in panic, " They can't watch me build an ice castle!"

"What are you good at?" I pinch my chin, " Hmm, let me think."

"This isn't a joke!" she snaps.

"Ok, ok. How about… how about endurance?"

"Hu?"

"You can stand to cold, right. They can put us in a cold… sea, or something. You'll be the last that hasn't died of pneumonia."

"Oh, Lords," She cups her face in her hands, " What am I going to do?"

Gobber steps back up again. " Time's up, you scallywags!" He chortles, " Come up when I point to you and state your ruddy name!"

He scans us. He points at the girl, two away from me, on my left. She steps forward heavily, slowly. The crowd watch and wait.

"My name," She says, " Is Killme Curare, daughter of the great Ragnus Curare." She draws back her hood, and waves of soft black hair come spilling out, wafting past her shoulders and stopping at her waist. She draws back her cloak, and reveals a sharp dark blue dress, thin and precisely cupping around her heels. Wafts of black rose perfume spiral into the crowd, into us. I lean forward, trying to get a better view. A small, upturned nose. Fair skin, and thin, bright eyes, glittering like two ash stones in the middle of her porcelain face.

"And my challenge," She says, " Is poison."

"Poison?" Gobber laughs shakily, " What do you mean, poison?"

"Identifying them." She says with a shrug, " And then the one you deem least toxic has to be drunk. Isn't that fun to watch? The anticipation?"

"Well, yes, but won't quite a few people… _die_?"

" Antidotes."

" I see."

Killme smiles with her huge, thin lips, and steps back into the crowd. One down- five to go.

Gobber shakes himself and looks at us again. Finally, his finger stops and points at the girl, furthest to the left.

She steps forward quickly, and draws back her hood. " Hi." She says.

There are gasps.

"Ruffnut?"

"Uh, yeah."

She has a thin, watery smile. Big, blue eyes. Long, gangly face.

"Guess you don't need introduction." Gobber sniffs, " How'd you pay?"

"Found ways."

"Ok." He looks as if he's trying to control himself, " Ok. So, Ruffnut, what's your challenge?"

"Climbing. Or swimming."

"Climbing?"

"Fastest up a mountain. Or like, a tree."

"Climbing it is!" Gobber shouts. Rallying cheers echo all around. Ruffnut steps back into the crowd.

One by one, the rest of us go. Finally, Elsa steps forward. She decides to do sailing, which is a bit out the blue. But I have heard Arrendale is good with merchants and ships. Maybe she sails, too. There are only two of us left, once she's gone.

Gobber scans us. There isn't much to scan. "You." He points.

It's me.

My heart skitters a little, and the snake squeezes me so tight, I can barley breath. But I step forward. Try to look smart. Positive. Confident.

With a small hand, I reach up and slide back my hood. No one gasps. No one jeers.

Flames dance in front of my eyes.

"I am Merida." I say, trying to sound strong. " Daughter of Eleanor and Fergus."

_Now _there are gasps.

"I knew it!" Gobber says, punching the air. " I _knew _it!"

Hiccup stands up behind him. " Merida…" His voice is tiny.

I look to the ground. The sky. Anywhere but his face.

Trust betrayed. Trust annihilated.

**Hiccup**

Merida. How?

Merida. Who?

Merida. Here. She's here.

How?

"And what?" Says Gobber, laughing, " Is yer challenge?"

She looks up at him, strong and defiant. " Archery." She says.

Gobber smiles. "Got a good one there, boy." He says, when he sits back down.

Looking up at me swiftly, she sinks back into the crowd. Pulls on her hood, as if she's embarrassed. As if she's lying.

Of course she is. Of course, of course of course, a peasant couldn't pay the entry fee. But do I care? No.

She's here.

She'll win.

Even without the dew, things are looking bright once more.

Gobber demands the last girl to come forward. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her step up, refuse to take of her hood, and state her challenge as Axe fighting. Last one standing. Her voice sounds familiar.

But I don't even look away.

**Part Two**

**Trust Betrayed; Trust Annihilated**


	6. Poisonous Hate

**Chapter Six**

**Merida**

I wake up sooner than everyone else in the dorm, my heart skipping with dreams. When I notice they're not real, just fantasies, my excitement fades away to nothing but a dull ache. I'll have to work hard to win.

The dorms are quite simple. There are three rooms, for training, sleeping, relaxing-and a garden round the back, out looking the sea. Downstairs, there are breakfast rooms, and a ballroom, all granted a small one. Then, in the basement, there's place's to store out items, bottles of wine and stores of ancient cheese. Which kind of smells.

Kind of bad.

But either way, it's the most luxurious estate this side of the small archipelago. There are waitresses and chefs, slaves and gardeners. It's a heaven away from the Loch, although it's not as good as Arrendale.

Obviously.

I peel of my covers and wonder over to the board, where apparently, the procession for the day is posted up. A yellow sheet is pinned. I squint at the small, block capitals.

Good Morning. Today:  
7am- 'Star' ( Unable to give formal name), Merida of Fergas, Elsa of Arrendale and Fectory Goodman, will compete in the first round of Poison ( Killme Curare)

12am- Lunch and posted results

3pm- Killme Curare, Ruffnut Of Berk, Pinch of Yore and Isabella of Red Sands will compete in the same challenge. The top two from each round will compete again

9pm- The best from each group will compete, pairing up the antidotes with the poison, then drinking the poison and the antidote. If the two don't match, there are no second chances.

The winner will receive six extra points. The person in second will receive an extra three points.

10pm- Sleep and dinner

Thank you.

I stare at it. It doesn't make any sense. Shouldn't we just all compete together and get rankings straight of?

Oh well. Their Vikings. Thinking isn't their specialty.

Elsa groans sleepily and sees me as she wakes. She's by my side in an instant, staring, transfixed, at the board.

"That doesn't make any sense."

" I know."

"What's the point?"

"I know."

"At least we're in it together."

"Yeah. At least we're not with Killme."

"Mmm." She says. I'm not sure Killme is the first thing on her mind, considering we'll be drinking poison in a few hours.

And we head down for breakfast.

"Welcome to dragon tra-" Gobber begins, and then stops to throw back his head with a mighty laugh. All the watching Vikings laugh, too.

He wipes a tear away from his eye, with a finger like a sausage, "I mean- Welcome to the start of the tournament. In front of you are seven liquids, six of which are deadly. Your job is to figure out which is which, placing the non toxic to the right, and the most to the left. Each correct bottle earns a point, and getting the right non toxic earns two. If you get the wrong, I'm afraid, that's three taken away. Also, you can taste them to help, but they'll be no antidotes supplied till the end." He taps his nose, " Worth considering. You have ten minutes. Now…. GO!"

Ten minutes? I stare down at the bottles. Each one looks similar- no, identical. They're _identical. _

I glance at Elsa, who looks equally confused, then at everyone else. 'Star' stares at Gobber like he's a mad man, behind her dark black hood. Even when she's asleep, we haven't been able to look at her properly, since she wears a sleep mask, not only over her eyes, but over her whole face as well. Either she's really ugly, or she doesn't want to be recognised. I just hope it's the first. That would make life a little less confusing.

But Fectory's on the game, popping open bottles and sniffing them, swilling them round to see if they're dense or not. I never really noticed her before, as she's basically the most normal out of the lot of us. Hazel hair, just past her shoulders. Slim, freckled face, and brown almond eyes. Nothing special.

But she knows what she's doing.

I crack of the cork, sniffing the first of the clear yellow liquids. It smells rancid, like off honey, and as I swill it round, trails of blue line the edges. I'm pretty certain it's Bell Malice, a poison the Eighth Kingdom specializes in, as it grows under cactus, tricking people into thinking it's water, since the sand is yellow, like sand, and it goes blue, like water, when you hold it at the right angle. But I also know this- you can't get much more poisonous than Bell Malice. Once you drink it, it literally boils your inside's, causing the water in the brain to evaporate. Not. Nice. I place it at the furthest left.

Next, is a sweet liquid, the same liquefied lemon colour. I yank of the top, and a gorgeous flowery scent fills the air. I nearly lick it up, before I remember the Bee Horror. People used to put it in container's to catch insects, because when they tasted it, it burnt their throat. It's the same colour, like honey. And it's meant to smell _great. _

I put it to one side. It won't be the most poisonous, but it's certainly not something I want to gulp down in one.

I check the hourglass on the table. It's nearly half full. I need to speed up.

The next one doesn't smell of anything but ripe oranges. Fragrant, but not to fragrant. It doesn't spark any warnings; I roll it gently in the bottle. Again, nothing really. It looks like, smells like- I drop a _tiny _amount on my tongue- and _tastes _like orange juice. I place it to the far right, and move swiftly to the next.

It smells instantly like lemon juice, but it isn't the right colour. And when I loll it upon the side, it stains the edges purple, and moves like melted wax. It's not lemon juice, and I have no doubt it's not nice, but I have no idea how. I put it next to the Bell Malice.

The next two are a midway deadly concussion- Deadly Ellie and Open Bleed. I place them basically next to each other, moving them in front of the Bee Horror.

Lastly, a weak looking topaz potion. I bring it up to my nose. It smells of… _nothing. _I crease my eyebrows. Everything so far has smelled of something, at least. This smells like really weak potpourri. With a quivering hand, I shake it. It slides of the edges, practically colourless, and the same density as thin water. I look at it, and then look at the supposed orange juice. One of these could possibly kill me. Which one do I trust? Which one do I not?

I glance over at Fectory. She stands back, obviously finished. I see why each one looks the same now. She looks so confident and sure, I'd copy her without a blink of the eye.

Biting my lip, I look up at the hourglass again. The last few grains are queuing to slide out. I've got about a minute left.

And then a boy catches my eye behind the timer. Hiccup. He watches me with worry and sympathy, and then, his eyes widen when he sees me staring, as if he can't believe I've bothered looking at him. Trying to cheer me up, he grins, and taps his lips. _Taste it. _

I grin back at him, and pop open the potpourri smelling liquid again, taking a light sip, closing my eyes, as I taste the sweetness. Suddenly, I feel myself brimming with tears. Hot water runs down my cheek, and the sweetness spreads, making everything slow and hazy. Darkness braces the edges of my vision, and I see Hiccup looking terrified. Utterly terrified. _What _did I just drink?

Hardly seeing my own hand, I place the last potion just in front of the Bell Malice. What _was _that?

The blotches grow like blossoming flowers, spreading over my vision. As if a sweeping wave, filled with oil and pollution, it spreads. And spreads. And spreads.

It's going black.

My heart skitters in my chest, loosing beat. Soon, it'll leak out my ribcage, joining the fire spreading. The heat. The hot.

It will burn.

But it doesn't hurt, just makes me spin. Dizzy. My skin is cracking; soon it will bleed. Soon I'll shatter, like glass, opening up. My lungs are filling with a unnerving humidity, as if they've been filled with boiling water, steadily turning to steam.

Squinting through the enclosing blackness, I see the hourglass. The last grain spirals through.

My knees melt. I thud to the ground, my bones breaking, my heart clunking down to the end of my spine. Through the haze, I think I feel a hand on mine. Lifting me. Helping me.

A thick liquid dribbles through my lips. It freezes on my tongue, bitter and raw as some escapes down my oesophagus. With a scary certainty, it extinguishes the flames. I begin to feel again. The hard pavement. The cloudy sky above.

"You alright? Get up. You need to take your final liquid. Come on." A girl grabs my arm and yanks me, her face kind and small. The ground feels like a balloon under my unsteady feet. A second after I'm up, I stumble back down again.

A cool hand on my back, slicing through the dwindling mist. It feels as if icicles are growing on my spine.

"Merida, please. You'll be ok."

Elsa.

With a shivering hand, I grate myself up, whilst leaning on the table. The air pulls over me like obsidian.

But I stand. It takes every inch of energy in me, but I do. And someone pours something else between my lips. Something beautiful. Something pure.

Relief surges over me. I got the right one. I got the right one.

And then the world switches out.

**Hiccup**

She falls to the ground like it isn't there. Like she doesn't care her head could crack, or her bones could snap. And it's all. My. Fault.

"Let me through," I gasp, " Let me _through_."

People jump out the way as I charge towards the arena entrance. I pull open the doors with as much weak force as I can muster, and quickly place myself by her side, pressing my hand on her chest. Merida's breathing slows, bobbing up and down like the gentle rise of the sea.

"Will she be alright?" I ask Brown Dove. She made the poisons, and the antidotes. She'll know.

"As long as she took enough." Brown Dove replies, " She'll be fine." The girl turns to the bottles, tapping them and sniffing them. " And she's done fine. Except for these two-" She glares at two, " Oh, and this one," She pretends to place another nearer the front, " Everything's perfect."

My mind soothes out. At least she won't come last. We still have a chance.

"Who did the best?"

"Merida came joint second, behind Fectory."  
"Who'd she join with?" I ask.

"Star, or whatever she's called." She shivers. "Don't like that girl one bit."

I nod, but can't help thinking different. I like Star. She's mysterious, and doesn't run around like she owns the place; more like she's scared. There's something about her too, that rings familiar louder than a bell. I just can't find the place the feeling originated from.

With a final glance, I get up, leaving Merida in the safe hands of the Medics. But as soon as I'm out of the arena, there's a tight hiss. Spinning round, I see Star standing crookedly behind me, her hood slightly less down than before.

"Hiccup," She says. The voice dances in my head, sure and positive. I _know _her. I'm sure of it.

"Yeah?"

"I just need to know… how are you about that girl?" She clicks her fingers, trying to remember the name, " Astrid?"

"It still hurts," I admit, surprised by her boldness and my inability to get angry, " Like, a lot. But I'm begging to get over it. If she ran away, it'll be for a better man, and if she… if she didn't, she'll be in a better place."

The girl nods, slowly, " I see."

"Why?" I ask, " What do you know?"

She pulls her hood tighter. " Nothing." And then with a click of her heels, she's gone.

**Merida**

The first thing I see is an angel. White hair, blue eyes, spotless face. Surrounding her, a dim golden glow, like a faint candle. My heart cringes when I realise I'm dead.

"Merida?" She asks. I try to reply, but my tongue feels like sandpaper, and the words die in my mouth. The angel smiles.

If I'm dead, how can I still feel pain? If I'm dead, why do I still feel the need to complete a goal? Why can I not talk?

"How's she doing, Elsa?" A girl invades, her hair sticking to her high cheekbones. In her hands are bottles, hanging from fingers and armpits and anywhere that can carry.

"Ok," The angel replies, " She can't talk, though. Give her some of the Soothing Potion. She'll want to watch the tournament tonight."

The girl nods, and slips the nozzle of a deep blue bottle between my lips. I guzzle the cool liquid down, and the roughness flitters away.

"Can you speak?" The angel asks.

"Am I dead?"

The angel laughs, " No. But after you see what's coming, you're going to wish you were."

Tomorrow's activities are seriously not funny.

Seriously. I'm just saying- we're girls, not superhero's. Most of us are, anyway. I'm not sure Elsa counts.

Tomorrow:

6am- Elsa of Arrendale, Star, Killme Curare and Isabella of the Red Sands will compete in the first round of the climbing challenge.

10am- Lunch

5pm- Merida of Fergus, Ruffnut of Berk and Pinch of Yore will compete in the second round of the climbing challenge

7pm- the best from each round will compete in the Uber Climbing Challenge

10pm- Bed and Supper

Climbing challenge? Not. Fun.

And considering either Killme or Fectory may die in tonight's challenge, not giving us a rest day seems a little cruel.

But I tell myself I don't care. I tell myself I can be strong enough. The fact I'm more tired than I've ever been doesn't matter. The fact my body's sore, my throat bruised, my eyes stinging- who cares? No one. Least of all me.

"You coming?' Elsa asks, pointing down the hall, on the route back to the arena. We're expected to watch the final challenge of the day. At least in a crowd, I might be able to sleep.

"Yep." I reply. We're both dressed in identical gowns- all of the competitors are. As if to celebrate our rivals probable deaths, we're dressed in purple long skirts, and golden corsets- the colours we're told will make up the poison and the antidote. The ones Killme and Fectory need to drink.

I shiver. For once, I'm glad I failed.

In the seats, it becomes obvious only a deaf donkey could sleep through the racket. People are screaming and placing bets, celebrating winnings and loosing's, congratulating Hiccup on the excellent turnout. It makes me sick to think that I'm proud- people seem to think, at least here, that I'm worth something. I even have a fan group, although it's based mainly on red headed three year olds.

A burly giant leads us through the sweltering mass of people, and into the higher premiere seats. From here, I can see the arena in unparalleled clarity. I would've rather been squashed by the crowd.

"People are missing," Elsa whispers, as she sits down beside me. Her layered skirt fans out onto the velvet seat like a blooming flower.

"Where?" I ask back, a little louder. I can hardly hear her.

She points over to the very front. Indeed, two empty gold seats stick out like sore thumbs, obviously meant for Hiccup and his father. Everything, the banners, the seats, the flowers they've put in the little Vikings hair- they all seem to be sticking to the theme of gold and purple. I finger my own violet cushion. It's so soft, it feels as if I'm floating on ai-

"You're Merida, right? The girl I drew with?"

I look up. " And you're Star. Or so you say."

Star stands next to us, her hood drawn obsessively round her features. Even the growing wind doesn't cause her cold-hearted dressing to flutter.

"So I say. Listen, I need to tell you something- keep away for Hiccup. Something- someone- is coming, and I need you to be well out the way when it does. I don't want any complications."

"Complications?"

"Wounds that don't need to be inflicted-"

"Already inflicted," I chide.

She gives me a look, " Hearts that don't need to be severed-"

"Which are already healed,"

"Words that _don't _need to be said."

"Got it. Whispered, then."

She places her black gloved hands on her hips, " Look, Merida, if you really have feelings for him, if you _really _want to help him- leave him alone. He doesn't need you any more than he needs that oaf of a father."

Anger slithers out of my ribcage, but I control it. "Go away." I hiss, " And don't speak to me again."

She leans close, so close I can smell her breath. It reeks of pines and woodland, but I _still _can't see her face. It's still shadowed, the cloak casting more black and grey than it should. It looks… it looks as if it's _enchanted. _

"Look, girl. This is for his good. I don't care about you. And if you don't abide to my wishes, I can guarantee you won't make it to the end of the week."

I lean in even closer. " And guess what, _Star_- I don't abide to anyone's wishes but my own. This is my destiny, and my fate. I won't be bossed around by the likes of you." I think back to my mother, and the similar words I said to her. I mean these just as strongly, maybe even more.

Star leans back, her cloak swilling upon the floor. The gold petticoat shows of her figure, and she has nothing to be ashamed of. It's looking less and less like she's ashamed of her face, and more and more likely that instead, she has something to hide.

Then, a gong smashes through our silence, and two girls walk into the arena. I can't help feeling slightly friendly towards Fectory, so I stand up. " Go Fectory!" I screech.

Star whips round with a scowl. " Go Killme!" She shrieks.

And the game is finally on.


	7. Betraying Trust

**Chapter Seven**

**Merida**

Fectory got it wrong. She drank the poison, and then the cure, but she kept on chocking. She kept on gargling for help, for assistance, kept on pleading…

Nobody seemed to care.

They laughed and jeered as she died.

And then, like a light, she faded. Her coughing went silent, the budge in her thin throat relaxed, and then, in one swift movement, she fell- like a stone, or a leaf, or a raindrop from a concrete sky.

They laughed and jeered at the corpse.

There is one empty bed tonight.

The scene keeps playing over and over in my head. The way she slammed into the ground, first her cheek, then her shoulder. The way the blood gushed from her lifeless mouth, the way her tongue was cut where she bit it. How, if I'd tried that drink a second earlier, I might've died, like her.

I doubt any one would care.

And as I drift into sleep, only a few beds from that empty one, I realise this is more than a game of love.

This is a game of hate, too.

Tomorrow, I know, will be the first test of how far we are prepared to go.

_How much can I hate? _I wonder,_ and how much can I love? _

I'm not entirely sure how Gobber can stand there and not get blown over.

He wears nothing but a tiny furry pair of shorts, a sword slung casually in his belt. A crossbow lays limply over one shoulder. He tells us it's so he can shoot us down if we're stuck.

I'm not sure how that's going to work, but ok.

Behind him, lies a fierce backdrop of jagged sharp rocks, sticking upright like some crazy child has jabbed cocktail sticks into a wall of drying tar. Each rock glimmers in the hazy rain, as if it's a huge sickly knife, so tall it scrapes and scars the sky.

And what do we have to do? Climb it, of course.

Vikings crowd on the beaches below, and the top of the cliffs, preparing medals for the winners of the second round. Elsa went earlier today, and using her 'special' abilities, managed to win. Star came seconds behind, Killme just after. Isabella, the one with dark blonde hair dyed black at the ends, injured herself and couldn't continue. Another empty bed, and another day where places don't really matter, since no one will go home.

But that doesn't make me any less nervous. I tell myself it's just early morning jitters. Inside, though, I know I'm utterly terrified of impaling myself on those rocks.

I mean, come on. Who wouldn't be?

"You excited?" Ruffnut asks. She jumps lithely from foot, shaking her head like she's clearing out dust.

"That's one word for it." I gulp.

Pinch stands close by, biting her short pink nails. I heard she's a princess from the Third Kingdom, filled with rolling countryside, high hills and dense green forests. Her face is shaped like a chubby heart, her light blonde hair spilling around her dainty shoulders in relaxed curls. She looks no more than 14, and seems even more nervous than me.

"You ok?" I whisper.

She nods tensely. " I've never climbed more than a oak." Her voice comes out in a squeak.

"Same." I lie. In my own time, I _have _climbed things like this, near the Fire Falls at my home. But that was in good weather, with no one watching. This is _not _the same thing.

She smiles flakily at me. "Can we do this together?"

"No helping!" Ruffnut shouts in glee, " Every girl for herself!"

Pinch stares up at her, like a tiny deer looking up at a grinning lioness. I'm not sure where I stand.

"Ready?" Gobber screams, " First girl to the top wins!"

I crack my knuckles. I tell myself I'm ready to bleed. Scabs will heal. Regret won't.

"On your marks…" Gobber says, " Get set…"

"Together?" Pinch breathes.

"Go!"

I run to the cliff like a jaguar. Ruffnut lags behind, but Pinch is fast. She keeps good pace, her pale cheeks turning a gentle rose. We spring onto the sheer cliff together in one mighty jump.

With thin fingers, I delve into every possible hold, my feet scrambling for foot space. Pinch instantly disappears behind me, as I clamber higher and higher. However, Ruffnut stars to invade my vision. She climbs better than a hawk scaling the sky.

"Try and follow my slip stream!" I cry to Pinch, " Follow the way I climb!"

I hear her scream a thank you, but the wind blows all but the bone of her words away.

After half and hour or so of shinning up the rock face, my knees sore with rips, I look for the lip. I'm less than halfway up, and I'm already exhausted. I can only imagine how sore Pinch feels, having never climbed before.

Ruffnut ascends at the same rate. We're nose in nose, or hand above hand. One second, its her, the next, its me. My heart knows, however, I can't keep this up for much longer. The air feels flimsy behind my back. I haven't dared look down.

"Go on, Merida!" Someone shouts from above, " Go on!"

It sounds like Hiccup.

I breathe, gathering myself up for a final push. I remember what I said before- Scabs would heal. Regrets wouldn't.

And I leave Ruffnut behind.

"That was amazing," the girl says- she looks like the same one that helped me yesterday; kind, almond eyes dripping down her cheeks, and frizzy brown hair.

"Not really." I say, as she presses gauze down onto my knee. Blood seeps through, and I bite my lip to brave through the sting.

"It was!" The girl's eyes widen, " You scrambled up like a squirrel! A rather drunk squirrel, but still…"

I can't help but let on a smile. I won the stage- and I came second in another. That puts me in good placement, doesn't it?

And then I remember; the winner from each stage has to compete against each other again. And who was the winner of the earlier challenge?  
Elsa.

I'm going of against Elsa.

I'm not sure why my stomach flips. We're friends. We'll help each other.

"Do you know what the next challenge will be?" I ask the girl, " You know, the one tonight?"

She sucks in her cheeks and thinks, " Well… if it's climbing, it'll just be made more dangerous."

"More dangerous than this?" I ask.

"Much more. They'll probably put beasties in with you." She wiggles her hands around my face.

I sigh. " Aye, you're right. This isn't going to go well." She pats my sympathetically on the shoulder. " What's you're name?" I ask.

"Brown Dove." She says, " I do the potion's and such."

I smile. " The potion you put on my leg sure worked wonders. Thanks."

She helps me up. "You're welcome."

As soon as I'm out, Hiccup's there, his eyes watchful as he comes closer. " That was cool." He says, punching me lightly on the shoulder, " You guys made such an _arse _out of physics."

I shrug. " Rules of physics? More like guidelines."

"You're completely right. You know that girl, Star?"

I pout my lips angrily, " Yes."

He laughs. " She's weird, isn't she? I can't help feeling like I know her."

"Hey, Hiccup, can I talk to you?"

He raises an eyebrow, " Yeah, sure. Where'd you want to go?"

I nod to everyone milling around us- half of which are staring. " Preferably somewhere private."

He grabs my hand. " Come on."

"Where are we going?" I screech through pearls of giggles.

Hiccup grins, " Wait and see."

Woodland flashes by us in great sheets of beauty. Fallen trees covered by moss layer the ground like huge flower petals, the canopy sailing above like the wings of a dragon. The rain shatters above us, so we're mostly left with an occasional drop of water, splattering on our heads at _just _the wrong time.

Soon enough, we stop. He unties a corset of leaves surrounding a glen, and I peak into the secret garden, gasping. A jewel of sapphire rests in the centre, surrounded by stretching trees and shrubs, dousing the edges in colour. We sit about fifty meters above it, like a natural balcony overlooking a swan boat lake.

"This is where I first found Toothless," He says, " Or where I found out he couldn't fly without me."

"It's beautiful." I say. Even in the rain, this place shines.

He dangles his legs over the edge, sticking out his tongue to catch icy downpour. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing as he draws back, slathered in drips of water. He looks like a wet puppy.

"Not," He says, " A good idea."

"You look like a hobo."

"A rather well groomed hobo?"

I flick him on the shoulder, " Quite the opposite, actually."

He smiles and lies back. " Good enough." He says, as he closes his eyes.

"Can I tell you now?"

"Tell me what?"

'What I was going to tell you before."

He sits back up again. "Sure."

"Well, when you and your father were late yesterday, she came up to me, and told me not to speak to you anymore, because she said she didn't want to make this hard for you."  
He creases his eyebrows, " _Hard _for me?"

"Basically."

"That's weird, because she spoke to me to. She was wondering whether I remembered Astrid."

My mouth gapes open, " How could she?"

"I was surprised, though. It didn't hurt, and I didn't _really _care. I said-" He looks at me, " I said I was healing."

My heart flitters inside my chest. " You said you were over her?"

"Not over. But…" He closes his eyes, as if he's driving away pain, " I'm nearly there."

Nearly there. The phrase is used so much, now. I can tell we're both on the edge, but of what, I'm not quite sure.

Knowing I need to be back soon, I get up, smoothing out my dress as I begin to walk away.

"Merida?"

"Need to get back," I say, " Want to come?"

"Yes. No. Thor, why did my father make me host this stupid thing?"

I help him up, " It'll be ok in the end, I promise."

"I guess," He says, sighing as we make our way back, " I guess we can only hope."

We're back in the arena. Elsa and me stand side by side.

'They can't break us up." She whispers.

"No." I tell her, " We'll get through this together. And whoever wins wins, right?"

"Right."

"ELSA OF ARRENDALE AND MERIDA OF FERGAS!" Gobber says, silencing the Viking chatter, " WELCOME TO THE FINAL CLIMBING CHALLENGE!"

"Thanks," I mutter.

Elsa groans. " Can't he just get on with it?"

" YOU'RE CHALLENGE TODAY- AVOID THE DEADLY NADDER! YOU'LL HAVE TO BE QUICK ON YOUR TOES TO AVOID _THIS _REPTILE!" he casts his glare down to two esquires, ready to release the beast, supposedly, " SHOW 'EM, BOYS!"

Slowly, the kids turn the wheels with their puny arms, and the cogs clash together, forming a groaning, painful sound. I gape as tendrils of smoke come lashing out the bottom of the door- it looks like…

" A dragon." Elsa gulps.

Suddenly, with great bursts of flame, a neon blue dragon hurtles out of the cage, yellow wings unfurling from their encasement. The two apprentices hold ropes to keep the beast under control till Gobber says the word, driving their feet into the mud just to make it slightly stable. How are we going to avoid _that_?

Gobber looks to the other end of the arena. " Time to show 'em the _climbing _element!"

Four more boys come running in, carrying behind them on wheels, portable walls and light weight rocks to hide under. Now, I begin to understand. This is a battle of the last one standing.

There's no way we can fight this fight together.

"BRING IN THE WEAPONS!" Gobber shouts. The four boys run out again, wheeling in a huge array of weapons. My eyes are inspontaniously drawn to a bow, glimmering gold among the sea of silver steel.

"SELECT YOUR WEAPONS!"

I greedily select the bow and arrows, and for backup, a weightless, beautiful sword. The blade is so clean, I can see my refection.

Elsa goes for a single knife. What is she thinking?

"ALRIGHT!" Gobber screeches, " SILENCE! SILENCE!" He shushes the crowd, " OKAY, BOYS…" He pauses, " NOW!"

And they let go of the rope.

The Nadder instantly takes to the air, swooping gusts of wind down on us. Afraid of its fire, I dive behind one of the walls, sneaking out my bow, loading an arrow. Peering just round the side, I watch the Nadder as it surveys the ground with its cat like eyes. Where's Elsa?  
My heart catches in my throat as I see her just… just standing there. The knife isn't even out, tucked into her pocket. I can see the hilt glinting gold.

"ELSA!" I scream, " Get behind something!"

"No, Merida." She says calmly, " It's _ok." _

The dragon sees her with its molten glare. She stares back.

Suddenly, she punches her hands into fists and flings them open at the flying beast. Shards of ice fly out, piecing the dragon's belly as it desperately flies away.

"Yeah! Go Elsa!"

She ignores me, swinging her hands again in the direction of the dragon. Spikes of snow delve into the dragon's eye.

It roars in pain, clambering upside down onto the wire mesh that covers the ceiling. It gulps in huge breaths of air, and then, in a swoosh, it spits down a river of fire onto Elsa's head. She brings up a wall of ice to protect her, but it starts to melt away. The dragon is furiously relentless.

Do I run out and help her? Or do I stay here, earning more points?  
"MERIDA!" Elsa screams, " HELP!"

_Think, _I say to myself, _think think think_

"MERIDA!"  
With a final decision, I roll out and shoot the dragon with my last arrow. It hits bull's eye, straight in the heart. The creature caws angrily, confused at where the shot came from. When it see's me, it swoops down and…

"RUN!" Elsa yells, " For goodness sake, Mer, RUN!"

Shooting as I go, I duck behind the wall, and then round another, as the dragon whips around above me, trying to take aim with its vicious flame. Elsa tries to freeze its tail, but to no avail. The dragon just keeps on coming.

Panting, I slide under one of the rocks. It has a small opening, so the dragon won't be able to reach me inside. Its eye appears at the entrance, confused- at least, the one that isn't filled with frozen snow.

Then, confusingly, it disappears. Sprawling upon the wall with relief and exaction, I relax. The dragon can't get me in here.

Then it appears again, twenty paces away. Elsa stands, horrified, in the background, as it opens it's mouth and-

Fire? Why didn't I think about the _fire_?  
It pours through the hole, licking my fingers with raging heat. I cry out in pain, as the flames scorch my hand. " ELLLLSAAAA!"

The blaze keeps on coming, heating the hole with angry force. It's not long before I begin to sweat; the water drips into my eyes, in my armpits, lacing my palms and ankles. When is it going to stop?  
I hear Elsa scream from outside, and abruptly, the flames drip away. Panting, I crawl out, and see her fling ice at it, at it's eyes, at it's face, at it's hide- I leap to help, firing at it's legs. With a final scratchy roar, it falls to the ground. I look at Elsa in disbelief.

"CONGRATULATIONS!" Gobber cries, " The beast is defeated! But now…" He rubs his hands in delight, " There has to be a winner."

The crowd groans and mutters, but some laugh. Friend on friend- the best kind of drama.

"What do we do?" Elsa asks.

"We fight." I reply, drawing out an arrow.

"You're not serious." She gasps.

"They have to have a winner."

"Oh, Lords." She whispers, " Merida, I could kill you!"

"Then lets just disable each other. An arrow in the foot?"

" I just saved your _life_!"

" And I saved yours! You would've melted if it weren't for me!"

"And you would've melted if it wasn't for me!"

"Oh, be quiet." I hiss. And with a final decision, I pull back an arrow and shoot her in the calf.

She screams in pain. Her hands fly to her leg, pulling out the shaft. "Merida!" She howls to the ground.

"Look, Elsa, I'm sorry! Just… just don't get back up!"

She turns to me, anger in her bright blue eyes. " Take that!" She lashes, " You snob!"

I see the ice flying towards my face a second before I feel it. Then, everything goes dark.

**_Two Hours Later_**

_Star hurried down into the village, quietly avoiding the sheets of perilous rain. If all had gone to plan, Elsa should've got her message by now. Gulping, she stepped into the house, the one place they could talk separately. The rain instantly faded out to a sullen drone outdoors. Taking of her hood for the first time in a week, she hung it onto a peg, glad to be rid of the dreadful thing. With shaking fingers, she drew out a packet of matches from the dusty cupboard, and threw the spark onto the piles of dry tinder wood. Instantly, the fire sprung to life, heating up the abandoned home like nothing else possibly could. _

_There was a snap as the latch on the door creaked open. Elsa, stumbling with a heavy limp, fell through the doorway. _

_"Oh, here." Star said, pulling up chair, "Get in."_

_Thankfully, Elsa dropped into it, gasping, holding her calf in pain. _

_"I saw what Merida did." She shook her head, "Terrible." _

_" I didn't think she'd do it so _quickly._"_

_"Well, yes. But she seems to be that kind of girl." _

_For the first time, she looked up, seeing Star properly. Her mouth hung open, and Star began to feel oddly smug. _

_" Now you know why Merida can't win?" She said, indicating to her face. _

_Elsa, gobsmacked, nodded. " But why do you need me?" She asked. _

_"None of us can win this on our own, Merida included. And she _can't _win. So all I'm asking is…" She opened her hands, " Help." _

_"Isn't that betrayal?" Elsa asked._

_"Not if Merida betrayed you first."  
Elsa nodded. " What do you need me to do?" _

_"Next, it's horse riding, Pinch's event. Don't do anything there- I've got it sorted for that event. But after, it's sailing. You're choice, right? You win that, and give Merida help, whatever, don't make her suspect _anything_. Then, it's archery, and no doubt that'll be her event. No point trying to defeat her there. But _after, _it's the axe fighting, MY event. And here's what we're going to do." She drew Elsa close, whispering the plan in her ear. _

_"NO!" she gasped, horrified. "No. Can't we just defeat her normally? Or wait till the last event?" _

_"That will be the last event, before the grand finale, since Isabella and Fectory have already met they're ends. So we need to defeat her good and proper, so the two of us can be in the fin-"  
"NO! Just so you can win at the end?" Elsa shook her head, " I'm so telling Merida. I should've never come!" _

_Star shook her head. "I was afraid you would say that." Getting up, she slammed the door. Elsa, unable to go far because of her leg, sunk back into the chair. " What are you going to do to me?" She whispered.  
"Nothing." She turned, selecting a cake from a work board, " Take this as a treaty. Don't tell Merida, and I'll let you go." _

_"No!" _

_Star shook her head in frustration. " I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this but… if you don't take the treaty, then I'm going to kill your sister." _

_"You wouldn't!" _

_"Would." _

_"Ok, alright." Elsa bit into the cake, then drew back, disgusted. " What's in that thing?" _

_Star shrugged. " Got it from a witch selling dragon carvings. Meant to make you change your loyalties. Now go back to the Lodgings and don't tell Merida a thing." She tapped her nose, " Remember our plan." _

_Elsa got up, nodding viciously. " Yes. Yes, of course." She swung round and opened the door, slamming behind her before she went. Celebrating silently, Star gave her a moment to leave before she looked outside. When she did, forcing open the door thanks to the wind, Elsa was already a silver smudge in the rainy night-time. Star smiled, and suddenly, something on her doorstep caught her eye. _

_The cake. _

_Slightly disgusted, slightly amused, she picked it up to throw it in the fire. But a moment before she chucked it into the flames, she noticed Elsa had taken two bites, not one. _

Strange, _she thought, _but never mind. _Without another look, she let it drop into the inferno. Then, wrapping her cloak round her shoulders, and pulling her hood up high, she headed back to the lodgings herself. _

_Merida had no idea what was coming._


	8. Love is a loosing game

**Chapter Eight**

**Hiccup**

I had lied to Merida. I wasn't nearly there.

I was completely over it. She didn't haunt me at nights, I never noticed if girls had blonde hair or black, or if they're eyes were blue.

I only noticed if they're hair was red, or if they carried a bow.

Lee wakes me up earlier than usual. "Horse riding today," He tells me.

"Oh, yay." I reply, " I do like a bit of drama."

I get changed quickly, though, because I don't want to miss Merida's round- and before that, I needed to visit my Father.

He was getting worse.

Each day, his coughs were more laboured. Each second, the rings around his eyes grew wider, his muscled chest weaker. I saw him less and less.

I am determine to see him today.

Striding down the village to The Medicine Hut, I see the strangest thing. The door to Astrid's hut lies open, banging in the wind. Ducking down my head so no one sees my face, I slide up to the door, hoping to close it seamlessly without anyone noticing. It is making such a racket. But inside, I see ash. Fresh ash, still hot and red from recent use, curling over and over in the fireplace; like fierily angle wings unfurling in heaven.

Or hell.

Is that _really _where she is?

It's cold, but not Viking cold. I'm not sure why I shiver as I leave.

"Son?"  
"Father. It's me."

Stoick's face lights up in an ancient grin, showing of stubs of teeth, " Oh, Hiccup."

"What do you need?"

"How are the girls?"

'They're ok. One died."

"That happens, young man. You need to be prepared."

"I am. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine- tell me, any favourites? Any gossip?"  
I whisper in his ear about Merida. I don't need Lee teasing me about _that _one.

My father grins as I draw back, " Good, boy," He says wheezily, " Good, good, lad. She has fine money, good tastes. But- any imposters? Any fakes?"

I think about what he means. "Fakes, Father?"

"No real name. Low hood. Black cloak. You know the sort."

I gasp, " Yes, there is one."

"What's her name, dear son?"

"Star. Who do you think she is?"

For a second, his eyes widen, before he falls into a pit of undying coughs. Patting his shoulder, I leave him to be, " See you soon, Father." I say.

He rolls over under the sheets, just in time for me to see a red line on the hinge of his neck, oozing pus leaking from the new wounding scar. "Father-" I begin, but he rolls over again. Gently, the medics push me away, and I'm left in the bittersweet morning sunshine again.

How have I never noticed that scar before?

I'm slightly late to the arena that morning. A few men scold me, other's laugh.

" Up late last night, were ye?" They say.

"Just brushing up on my gardening." I reply drily every time, much to their uttermost delight.

Gobber's furious, since he hasn't been able to start the challenge yet. I smile wirily as I sit down, knowing he can't tell me off yet. Not why everyone's watching.

Giving me the evil eye, he turns to the girls, introducing them, explaining the challenge. As far as I can tell, they just need to ride their horses the best they can around the ring twice- once, the fastest, twice, doing as many tricks as they can.

Apart from Merida, there's Star and Pinch. In the later session, there's Elsa, Ruffnut, and Killme. From the original eight, there is only six. At the end of today, there will be five.

I check the scoreboards. Since Merida won yesterday's challenge, she's in first, Elsa following behind. Then, its Star, joint then with Killme, then Ruffnut, then Pinch.

This is Pinch's challenge, the girl I didn't even really see. I wouldn't even notice if she had gone.

Lee sits beside me like a personal guard. " Which ones Pinch?" I whisper. As Gobber continues speaking, he points a finger at a small blonde girl with a pretty face, perfect for riding a horse. She looks so weightless, it wouldn't even notice she'd got on.

Gobber calls in the horses. Since we have dragons, we have no need for them anymore, so the official's asked the Competitors to send in their choice. I watch as Merida runs up to an old black shire. I remember him from the night she found me, dying in the woods.

Suddenly, something flicks into place.

A rebellious princess, protecting her kingdom. A wonderful archer- riding into the woods on her horse, looking up at a flying boy. Loading her arrow. Finding the shot.

It was her.

I place a cold hand on my forehead. Everything goes dull and unclear. Lights leak and colours drag. The world goes musty. I see one thing in vicious flame.

It was her.

Lee moves for me, helping me sit up. His mouth moves, speaking, but I don't hear the words. I only recognise the droning of the crowd, humming with the pounding blood rushing in my ears.

It was her.

I press my fingers harder into my temples, willing the world to swing back into place. Come on- come on! And everything comes rushing back, just in time for Gobber to announce the first rider. Star.

I sit up. Straighten my back. What would I have done, in Merida's place? The same thing. Once, I shot dragons down too. I need to forgive her. I will.

Star rides around the course like an arrow, jumping over posts and jumps like she's at one with the silver horse. Even when spikes lash out from the ground, she nifty glides over them, the horse not even scratching its hooves.

Pinch goes next, even faster, flying rather than darting. She lies low on the horses hide, kicking it as it pounces over the jumps. For her, it's avoiding flame. She dodges it as if it isn't there.

Next, it's Merida. With a singular leap, she flings herself onto the horse, fixing her feet in the holds. But one comes loose, and to her horror, she flies back to the ground, hitting it. Hard.

Everyone laughs as she picks herself up from the dirt, gritting her teeth. Her fine equestrian dress is ruined.

With an angry stare, she flings the broken saddle to the ground, getting onto the horse bare backed. The audience quietens. They know how hard riding bare back is, and the course isn't exactly _easy, _consisting of flames and such.

And that's when I notice Star slipping out the ring, when everyone's attention is diverted. What's she up to?

Merida comes up to the start line, her hair pulled back into a fierce ponytail. With one last glance at us, her eyes eventually finding me, she kicks the horse, and she's off.

She's only a few seconds in when I notice something is wrong. Knives flash from nowhere, and fire spurts from nothingness. She can't avoid it all, and neither can the horse. Blades flick at its legs and her arms, over and over again, and she gallops round the ring. This was only meant to happen _once. _She's going to _die. _

"Stop!" Gobber shouts, panicked, " Something's gone wrong! Tell 'em, Hiccup!"

I'm about to get up too, but then- she shot me down, didn't she? This could be counted as payback. And she's avoiding everything pretty well.

"Sit back down," I tell Gobber, " Lets see where she ends up."

Astounded, and even more livid, he takes his seat again. Fire flickers across his cold blue eyes.

Eventually, she makes it round, and in surprisingly good time. Not as fantastic as Star or Pinch, but they were undoubtly amazing. I sit back in my chair, relaxing.

"Why didn't you stop it?" Somebody cries, " I was dying out there!"

Merida.

Gobber gets up sternly. " The Prince wished to see where it went." He cries down to her. There's a smirk on his thin lips.

Oh no oh no oh no.

"Hiccup?" She cries back, incredulous, " Why?"

Gobber turns to me, " Why don't you tell her, boy?" He says deviously.

I just shake my head. What can I say, in front of all these people? A chief's son is meant to be pure of all evils- I'm pretty sure Revenge is not all to good.

" He's just shakin' his 'ead!" Gobber shouts back, " Talk to him later, why don't you? NOW- THE NEXT ROUND!"

And just like that, the tensions over. It pours out of his body, and mine, our spines unfurling, our brows unceasing. But, when Merida rides again, I see angry fire spitting in her cheeks, her neon blue eyes like boiling water on her pale face.

There, the tension is still blazing bright.

"Why'd you do that?" She demands.

"What?"

"You _saw _what was happening! It was Star! She rigged the system! Didn't you see her sneak out?"  
"Let's go." I tug her wrist. People are looking. " We need to talk."

"NO!" She pulls her hand back to herself, " I'm not interested in _anything _you have to say!"

I've heard the words before, out of someone else's mouth. Astrid, on the day of our first kiss. What did I say after?

I turn to Merida. " Then let me show you." I say, " Please, Merida." I offer her my hand.

She scowls at me. For a second, I think she's going to punch me in the face and stride away. But then, hesitantly, she takes it.

Toothless lies in the straw, his head resting in between his paws. At the sound of our entrance, he springs up, ears protruding out of his head like two dark black fireworks.

"Hey, bud." I say, " Remember Merida?"

"Hi, Toothless." She says. She glances at me hesitantly, " Can I touch him?"

"Sure," I say, " Go ahead."

Smiling weakly, she stretches out to stroke his muzzle. Snarling, he spurts backwards, away from her outstretched fingers.

"Toothless!" I scold.

Merida takes no notice. "So," She says, " You wanted to take me to your dragon's stinky pen _because_?"

"Because of this," I say, tickling Toothless so she can see his belly, " Ring a bell?"

Underneath, it is a relatively unknown fact that night furies are a pale pink at the centre of their stomachs. This night fury isn't. Surrounding a vivid scar is pulsing blue tissue, sore and infected. Even through all those days in the wood, Toothless still looks… well… _open. _

Merida shakes her head. " I thought you knew." She whispers. In a subtle glide, she crumples into the hay, falling on her knees, " I thought you'd worked it out." Tears well up in her eyes.

"I worked it out today." I said, " Right before you began."

She cups her face in her hands. "Oh my God, Hiccup, you have no idea how bad I felt, not telling you. I nearly didn't come to the tournament, because I thought you'd finally get the missing piece… I thought you worked it out, the second I took of my hood that first day in the arena."

I shake my head. " You thought the first thing I'd think would be that you'd shot me down? Trust me, that was the last thing entering my mind."

She sniffs, looking up, " What was, then?"

I take her hand. " I was thinking how beautiful you were- how happy I was. How outstandingly, ridiculously, superlatively happy."

She creases her brows, " You… you were?"

"No- let me rephrase. I was _ecstatic. _I was _electric. _If Thor had struck me with lighting right then, I wouldn't have even noticed."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Hiccup… I'm so sorry. I-"

"Apology accepted. Accepted a million times over. Do you know who should be sorry?"  
"Who?" She asks.

"Me." I say.

Then I lean down and kiss her.

**Merida**

A million apologies.

A million acceptances.

A million words, painting one picture.

But a billion words couldn't describe this feeling, rippling through my body. A thousand trillion words that don't exist come to my mind.

But three stand clear among the rest. Not the words everyone would think they are. No. Not the three-letter sentence.

This is a new love vow.

I-will-win.

**Hi! Hope u liked this EXTREMELY SLOW chapter...sorry! I know the last bits really cringe worthy, but never mind. Also, i would LOVE some more reviews, even though the ones I've got are epic! Thanks to everyone... and any suggestions, i would adore. P.S: I know this is a bit OCC, but i get kinda absorbed. Ok- my speech of excuses is done! **


	9. Dreaming Oceans

**Chapter Nine**

**Merida**

This is the second time I've been near the Berk Sea. The first, I was by the ledge of an iron cliff. I knew there was a chance I would die.

But this is just sailing, right? Average cannoning, average wind, normal speed. Not a race. What's the rush?  
Wrong.

The boats don't look a _thing _like canoes. They have the basic elements- hallowed out inside's made from wood, paddles, a front and a back. But that's where the similarities end.

At the stern, out of the boat comes a great dragonhead, rising up out of the boat to break the oncoming tide. It's painted, of course, a kind of cherry red, teeth bared white, eyes glimmering like two stones, polished and as clear as the sea.

Wrong. Again.

The sea is anything _but _polished. Like thousands of diamond shards slamming together, spilling up in great splintered waves, the sea thrashes. It looks no more inviting than swimming into chilled, shattered glass. Mixed with ice. And probably poison, too.

The wind tares at my face, desperate to tear of the skin or rip of my hair. Everyone's bare footed, for no obvious reason, and I can feel my feet curl around the uneasy wetness of black stones. Everything is uncomfytable. Everything is daunting. For the first time, I consider why I'm here. Why the hell am I putting myself through _this?_

And then I remember. I just have to _remember. _

"Elsa?" I ask, " You ready?"

She grins widely at me, supposedly forgetting that I shot her in the leg. Suddenly, I'm grateful she's so ridiculously perfect.

"Ready as I'll never be." She says, messing up the words on purpose. There is no hidden weakness behind her humour.

She is strong. So am I.

We are dauntless. And this is our biggest test yet.

Just paddle across this little stretch of sea, please? To the bog burglar islands, if you may?

Of course.

Anything.

"Ready-" Gobber begins, " Set…"

I suck in a breath. Stare at the paddles. Soon, they'll be in my hands. Soon, that object and I will be one. Just as the sea is at one with the sky, just as the grass is at one with the dirt, just as-

"GO!" Gobber yells, " GO, YE SCALLYWAGS, GO!"

Ok, I lied. A lot.

I've never been cannoning before. Like, _ever. _I'm not sure entirely what to do with the paddles. I thrash them in the water, kindle them with the waves- but nothing seems to work. The rest of the girls, even Pinch, glide over the swell as if the sea is _helping _them along.

And here I am. Twisting in circles. Barely off the beach.

I clench my hands. Drive the paddles in harder. The only person nearly as horribly _bad _as me is Star. When I've finally got the grip of it, I'm sailing next to her, and she turns round to give me a grin. The wind blows the hood away from her face for a second, and I'm met with teeth and gums. If she wasn't smiling at me like she wanted to kill me, she would've had a nice smile.

And then, with graceful, lean force, she paddles herself closer to me, so our boats are touching. Are we finally over it? Is she going to help?  
"Heya, _Mer_." She sneers, " You push me over the edge sometimes, you know that?"

I grit my teeth. I should've known she came to taunt me.

But before I can slap an insult back, she's got her hand on the side of my boat, and is pushing it, hard, as if to tip it over. I gasp. Even she wouldn't…

A wave rocks up behind me, helping her, and I feel the boat begin to tip. Oh gods. She's going to push me off, really push me off. Into that shredding sea.

"So now…" She hisses, evil glee partying in her eyes," It's time for me to push _you _over the edge. Just a _little _harder."

The boat lolls back onto one side, and the paddles clatter into the ocean. I grab onto the other tipping edge, hoping she'll finally relent. Defenceless, I hang horizontally, the sea whipping up below me. Another wave smashes into my back, the cold niggling through my heavy woollen clothes. They're there to keep me warm. But now they'll drag me down, where in the end, no matter what, I'll be cold.

The paddles are gone, sunk to the gritty sand floor. How am I going to get back to the Bog Burglar islands now?

With one last jeering laugh, Star pushes my boat backwards, finally- backwards, into the sea.

As soon as I'm in, I become heavy, like my blood has been transfused with lead, weighing me down. I know the feeling from before, in the arena, where I took the poison. There were people there to save me, back then. There's no one to save me now. Even Star now paddles quickly into the distance. She was never slow. She was waiting for me, like a calculating tiger waits for it's stupid prey.

A finger of icy water glides through my sleeves, and I duck my head under the water. Partly, because whenever my head's freezing, the rest of me becomes less so, and partly to see if I can see the paddles; see if there is anyway I can get them back.

But the water pulling against my head doesn't make me warmer. It makes me colder. More delirious. Sparks fly like dashes off seaweed. Dragging me down. Hauling me under.

And the paddles are no where. When I open my eyes, all I see is swathes of grey green water, so salty that I can't keep my eyes open for longer than a second. With a creeping tinge of worry, I tread water up so I reach the surface, gulping in handfuls of air. Wind grates on my cheek. Even after only a few minutes in the ocean, my legs and feet feel like they're going to drop off, or freeze, or either. The sky looks bleakly grey up above, and to my right or left, I don't have the energy to tell, seagulls howl to the pace of the gust, and the thrash of the sea. They sound like baying wolves.

There is no land in sight, apart from the black smudge of the Berk Beach. But that'll be miles away by now. I hadn't noticed how strong the current was.

I suddenly think about the boat- surely it'll be warmer there? When I see it, drifting off into the distance. That, right there, is my last, _last _chance of surviving. Maybe I could still win, even if I come last?

With determined strokes, I paddle towards the fading canoe. Every once in a while, I stop, spitting water out of my mouth and lungs. The cold fills my ears, the sea, my nose. Everything but my arms, tugging me towards the ship, are numb.

With one last feat of desperation, I reach the boat. The wood feels almost warm upon the thudding chill of my skin.

Then, as if in slow motion, I see it, as I drag myself onto the boat. One. Last. Wave. It rears up, higher and higher, and for a terrible moment, I can see every grain of salt, every dying fish, every scrap of seaweed, captured in the grasp of the ever-powerful comers.

It looks heavy. It looks painful.

It comes thundering down on top of me, and in one go, it shatters me to pieces.

"Does she _like _coming here or something?"

"Not sure. She seems to have a tendency for accidents."

"She managed the cliff climbing ok, though?"

"Yeah. I should know. She was kind enough to help me on my way."

Pause.

"Who went out in the horse riding, just out of interest?"

"Uhh… Ruffnut? I honestly can't remember."

Pause.

"Do you think she can hear us?"

"Maybe. If she's not dead."

"Does Hiccup know yet?"

"Why would Hiccup _want _to know? It's best he keeps his mind on track. If she dies, and we tell him she just got bored of the tournament, he can still feel remotely happy if he married someone else. Like you, for example."

Pause.

"I don't want to marry him."

"No?"

'No. My father forced me to come."

'Ahh, fathers. Mine's dead."

"Oh! Sorry!"

"Nah- it was me who killed him, basically. He drank one of my uncompleted potions. Idiot."

Pause.

"Do you think she needs anything?"

"What? Like a hug? I'm sure Hiccup would be more than happy to supply _that_."

Short pause.

"No, not like _that. _Like a _drink_."

"If you want to get her something, go get it. I'm a potions genius/sorceress, not a waitress."

Longer pause, and then a sensation on my lips. A weak, tingling sensation, like heat- something I should be familiar with, yet can never remember having. Anything like heat seems to belong to someone a life time ago.

Gently, feelings start to return, like jigsaw pieces floating together in a pond, the leaking colours of the picture growing back like algae. A soft pillow rests below my head. Tight blankets wrap around my shoulders, pressing me to the bed. Dim light swims just in front of my eyelids, and although I am so close to them, I have no desire to reach out and catch them.

"Do you ever think she'll wake up?"

"Goodness, Pinch, you've been here for like ten minutes. Wait."

Far away, there's a shuffle of fabrics, like someone becoming comfy on a plump chair. I listen for any more sounds, but all that remains is a drone of blood banging upon my ear drums.

I stay like this for a while. Listening. Feeling. Getting used to being alive once more. Eventually, I grow bored. Like, bored bored. With a decisive _twist, _I try to yank my body out from under the sheets, and-

"OWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Oh my god. She's awake!"

"She's _yelling too!_? Make it _stop, _Brown Dove, make her _stop_!"

I open my eyes just in time to see the blankets being ripped off, and for Brown Dove to place a thick bag of ice on my belly. No wonder the blankets were packed so tight- there was a reason for me not being able to move.

I look up. Pinch sits in a little chair with a pillow, her sweet blonde hair tied in two plaits, which fall delicately past each shoulder. The other girl works furiously, massaging my white cloth clad stomach with confident, medical hands.

She sees me staring, and smiles. "Just a broken rib," She says, in between the strokes, " Or like, three."

"Oh! And you've got a-" Pinch looks at Brown Dove, " What was it?"

" A concussion and a minor fracture in the cranium." She shrugs, " No long term damage. It was just a monster wave, and _then _a falling boat. I know that thanks to _her_." She points to Pinch, " Who has, may I add, not stopped _talking _since she got here. Right?"

Pinch sits up straighter, obviously proud. " Right."

"Whose out?" I croak. My voice sounds like a machine whirring steadily back to life.

"Hasn't been announced yet." Brown Dove says. Then, as if to poke someone in the eye behind her, she indicates over her shoulder to Pinch with a thumb, " But my bets are on _her_."

"Score!" Pinch cries, pumping her fist in the air, " And I didn't die in the process!"

I laugh tiredly, but it sounds more like someone dancing on gravel, " Who won the challenge? The sailing one?"

Brown Dove creases her eyebrows, " Elsa, I think."

"Elsa?" I ask. Didn't she wait? Didn't she wonder where I was? Obviously, she isn't as perfect as I thought. I don't really blame her. I did, like, shoot her, after all. If someone shot me like that, I would ignore them, too.

"Yeah. And then Killme, and then Star, and then Pinch. And then- and then, well, _you_. In the second thing, they had to go over waterfalls and stuff…" she shakes her head, " No one died. _Such _a bore."

"What's going to happen to Star?"

Pinch shrugs. " Nothing. It wasn't in the rule-book. Although, basically nothing is."

"No." I agree, " Basically nothing."

"But to cheer you up," Brown Dove says with a gleaming smile, " You can't compete in the next round."

My mouth goes dry, " _What_?"

"Yeah. Apparently, broken ribs aren't good for archery. I know, right? Actually, it should start…" She checks the sun, glimmering like a grey disc outside, " Right about now."

"Oh no!" Pinch breathes, " Like… now, now?"

"Like, I can see them in the arena, now."

Without a backwards glance, Pinch sprints off. She's surprisingly fast.

"I need to compete!" I practically scream.

"No. You. Do. Not!" Brown Dove practically screams back, " Why? Do you want to win?"

"Yes!" I yell, " I want to win! A lot!"

She smirks, " You know you'll have to marry Hiccup, right? Fate worse than death, and all?"

"Brown Dove, listen. _Please_. I _need to _compete. Archery is my _last chance_."

She sighs, as if she was going to give up anyway. " Alright. I'll help, but don't blame me when you fall down dead because ribs punctured your lung. And you need to promise me something…"

"What?"

"Call your kid Mericcup, _please_? And I'll get you down there if you do, I swear."

I shake hands. " It's a deal."

**Hiccup**

It's been twenty four hours since the moment when they pulled her blue body a shore.

I kind of knew she wouldn't be here; the one event I knew she could win. I kind of knew that it was over.

So when she comes limping through the doorway, holding her ribs, a cloth upon her head, my heart skips one cold, important beat.

She's got a bow tied upon her back. It thumps upon her crooked spine.

"Merida," I whisper. Huge bags drape under her eyes like cobwebs, and she walks as if she's empty- as if she's a ghost. I almost don't _want _her to compete, she looks so drained. I turn to Gobber. " Can she still compete?"

He shrugs, " The challenge hasn't started yet. So I guess… I guess she can."

"Oh, please." I croak, " Oh, _please_."

Gobber pats me on the shoulder as he gets up. " It'll be ok, boy."

Then, he shreds _that _skin. The one that cares about _anything. _

"HELLO, YA PRICKLY PORCUPINES!" He cries, " TODAY, YA GOING TO SHOOT YOUR WAY TO VICTORY! THE WINNERS GET TO COMPETE IN A SPECIAL COMPETITION, LIKE ALL THE REST! NOW… THE STANDINGS SO FAR!" He clears his throat, " In first place… Elsa and Star! They draw- how tense! And behind them, by only _one point… _Merida! And next, comes Pinch, and finally… Killme." He sighs, " Which means, sadly, that Killme is _out_! Which means… 4 left. No point in doing it separately any longer. So… let's get on with it. YOU HAVE THREE CHANCES! HIGHEST SCORER WINS! YA ALL SHOOT AT THE SAME TIME… SO…. LOAD YA BOWS! SHOOT WHEN YER GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO!"

With a final nod of the head, he sinks back into his seat.

"You're scary." I say.

"I know." He replies.

Leaning over the barrier, I watch as the girls gather their arrows, loading them into their bows. Merida grits her teeth, face screwing up like a fist, visibly in pain as she reaches for the flint. As much as I want her to win, I wish she had stayed in the hospital. It's painful just to watch her.

The first to shoot is Star. She hits red, but stands back, satisfied. Elsa hits the white; I don't think a queen like her has much use for shooting. Pinch, the youngest, doesn't even hit the target, arrow banging into the white. It doesn't look like she's trying. There's an empty space where Killme was only moments ago. She left as soon as she knew there was no more point in trying.

And then Merida shoots.

I see the arrow spring out of her bow in slow motion, the feathers gliding on the strings, clashing slightly with the quiver as it rushes towards the target. It hits the closet to the yellow as possible, but still hits the red. She looks distraught.

_Only the first shot, _I want to tell her, _you're getting used to the pain, the new bow and sorts. Don't give up. _

And she doesn't.

She's the first to shoot her second arrow, and it's scarily accurate, hitting the yellow right in the centre. Star, scowling, shoots another hastily. It falls short, stabbing the black. She pulls at her hood, as though it was her hair instead. I hide a smirk; bitter hatred courses through me, after I heard what she did to Merida through Pinch. Normally, I would have doubts if the girl were telling the truth. But I don't think Pinch could lie to a fly.

Elsa shoots next, hitting the blue. A smile creeps up her perfect face, as the shaft buries its head in the indigo swell.

Pinch hits black, once again hardly looking at the target itself. And then Star shoots again- drawing back her arms with force, pinging the arrow out of the standstill. To everyone's surprise, it delves into the yellow, nearly as close to the centre as Merida's. That's all her shots done- yellow, black, and red.

Next, it's Elsa's last shot. She hits the black, smiling. She's into the next round, at least.

Pinch, looking fed up, drags back her arm, loosely_ missing _the actual target. Gobber snorts, punching me in the shoulder, " Now, _there's _a lass who isn't a bit interested!"

"Good thing to," I hiss, under my breath. Merida shoots next. The pain looks like it's been drained out. She only sees the place she needs to hit- and everything it represents. With a visible gulp, she draws back her arm slowly, stretching, guiding her bow just where she wants it to be.

And she shoots.

The arrow engraves itself into the yellow, as if it could break stone, just to get through to the gold hiding inside. Everyone draws back a breath; she wasn't meant to even _be _here! Underneath my mask, I feel myself smiling. _That's my girl. _I think.

I clench my hands into a happy fist- she _won_! And then, a worm delves into my stomach, niggling through my nerves. Does this mean she'll have to compete in the next stage of archery? With… I think for a second- with _Star? _

No, no, NO! Star will win, and we all know it. Merida would've thrashed her if she weren't broken already. But I'm not letting Star even have the chance to break her again.

"ALRIGHT!" Gobber cries, " THAT MEANS IN LAST PLACE… PINCH! AND IN TOP, MERIDA! BEHIND HER, STAR AND THEN ELSA! THAT MEANS… BYE, PINCH!" He gives the small girl a little wave, and everyone laughs. To my surprise, she grins up at him, and gives a little bow. It's so ridiculously out of character, even Gobber grins.

" THAT MEANS MERIDA AND STAR WILL COMPETE IN THE NEXT CH-"

"Wait, Gobber." I say quietly.

He turns to me, thunderously, " What?"

"Give her a choice. Compete or not? It's only a few points."

"Alright," He says stiffly, " MERIDA, DO YA WISH TO COMPETE IN THIS HERE NEXT CHALLENGE? IT'LL BE DANGEROS AND SUCH, SO YA BETTER BE PREPARED!"

"I'll do it," She says in a tiny voice, " I'll do it."

I stare down at her. " You'll _kill _yourself!" I cry, " Don't do it! Just… just _don't!"_

"I can too!" She says, meeting my eyes. The world dins out, like it's been dropped in water, and the inks slurred and run. For a second, it's just us, as if everyone's got out their seats and strode away. The sounds fade out, everything but our voices and the wind. I feel like water's been clogged up in my ears for far too long.

"Please, Merida, don't. You've got into the finals, anyway- the final challenge!"  
"But Hiccup- I _need _the points. If we have any chance- _any_- then I need to have more under my belt. Then even if I loose the axe fighting-"  
"But you won't. You'll be healed by then, right?"

"I may _never _heal. I need to take this chance. You need to understand that. Why can't you see this is it?"

_Because I can't loose you, too. _I think. But instead, I cry, " Please, just don't. For me."

She sucks in her cheeks, turning away. " I'll do it." She tells Gobber, without looking, " I'll compete."

And everything comes rushing back into neon colour, the shouts and chatter of my people blaring at full blast. Initially, in shock, I lean on something, gasping. There is a sudden flare of fiery heat in my pocket- I reach in and bring out the yellow stoner Brown Dove gave me. I didn't think it would affect my life in such a way; but obviously, interpreting dreams include pushing the utter silence into my mind.

Apart from Merida.

Did I do that? Or did the stone? Was it even the stone?

I'll ask Brown Dove. Later.

Because right now, people are rushing down to the ring, telling Merida not to compete, or to, offering her good luck charms and medicine to help her get better soon. Star stands sideways, staring at the crowd; obviously jealous no one is congratulating her. How could she be? She nearly _killed _Merida, and she's _still jealous? _

Last time, she approached me. Well, now it's time for the tables to turn.

"Where ya going, boy?" Gobber asks, as I slide a knife out of my boot, beginning to walk away.

"To settle some business." I reply.

**"**_Hiccup_?"

"Who else? The Princess of the first Kingdom?"

"You have no idea how happy I am to see…" She stops, seeing my face, " What?" Her voice is hoarse.

"Don't you _dare _lay a hand on her, you Nadder," I hiss, " Else…"

"Else what? Else you'll kill me? If only you knew…"

"Knew what?"

Her hands clench and unclench. " I… I can't. But listen, about Astrid…"

" I don't _care _about Astrid anymore." I say angrily, " She's left. She's gone. I. Don't. Care."

"Well… you should."

"Why?" I hiss, " Give me one reason _why_?"

She turns away for a second, " Here." She says, " Here is a reason."

She leans in, and before I realise what's happening, she's kissing- _kissing _me. My eyes blare open, startled. Even with our faces touching, it's like looking into blackness. This is no normal darkness she's concealed herself in.

Spluttering, I pull away. No, I _shove _her away, so she actually stumbles, trying to hold herself up. My heart feels like cold lead in my ribcage, as she crashes onto the concrete.

"What was that for?!" I shout.

"I thought you should know." She says from the ground.

"Know what?"

"You can't remember?"

"Can't remember _what_?" The knife feels cool on my ankle, jarring on my boot.

"You seriously don't know?" Her voice cracks, like she's actually sad.

"No." I say, because I _don't. _Whatever that was, it hasn't rung any bells that I even posses.

"Ok, fine. But you will. You _will_." She rakes herself up, and then jams a finger into my chest, " You'll feel it there."

"Alright." I say, sneering, " And you better feel it _here-_" I ram my finger into her chest, " That you _mustn't kill her_."

"Yes. Yes, as long as you _try, _just _try, _to remember. Think about it."

And she strides of.

Where have I heard those words before? I'm certain Brown Dove said the same thing, about Astrid and my father. With a final growl of frustration, I head back to the house. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, I'll finally figure it out.

Because it feels like the answer was just staring me in the face.

_The forest tangles itself up. I don't want to enter it. I mustn't. _

_Yet, there is a small girl by its edges, weaving the grass through her fingertips. She doesn't look like she's scared by the trees._

_Suddenly, like she's heard something, she looks up. He ears are pulled high, her thick lips snarling into a line. She clenches a knife, one hidden earlier by the grass, her teeth pulled back into a grimace. _

_"What do you see?" I shout, " What do you see?"_

_Not hearing, or ignoring, she darts into the trees, pressing herself into the high roots and angry, low branches. I can just see her outline, lighter among the immense darkness of the glen. _

_"Get out of here!" Someone screams behind me. I look round, too late, as a huge man clobbers me round the head. He looks… he looks familiar, like a person changed so much that I can no longer recognise him. But he hardly sees me, pushing my back forcefully towards the wood, like he wants me to be gone. Gone- forever. _

_With a sudden bang, the feeling of mildness swings to a halt. I hadn't noticed I was carrying an axe, but now I am painfully aware, as I swing it at the man's head. He ducks, just in time, but a deep line appears at the back of his neck, where the thin metal slices through the skin. As if I'm surprised, watching from above, I stare at the cut, but the man takes no notice, swinging a heavy fist into my jaw. " STAY AWAY FROM MY SON!" He cries, spitting into my face. His son? His son? Why would _I _have any interest in his son? _

_And then the world goes dark, as the man thuds into me again. _

_Waking up, a sort of hazy dreaminess startles me into life, weaving its way through the woods where I lie. Everything has been drawn in pastels- everything is slow. As if this is a dream. As if me lying on the tough earthy ground is nothing more than an idea- a memory. A thought I made without even knowing, behind the walls of thinking out loud._

_And then I know it is, somehow. Another part of me comes to life, the alive part, and I'm just coming to realise that I'm fading, when I hear the little girl scream. _

Brown Dove.

_The dream dies to nothing._

**Hi confusing bit at the end- he was dreaming. This chapter's probs my least favourite, so sorry :-( Thanks for reading this, feel free to leave a review if you wanna, and have a brill day! Oh, and sorry for the mistakes! I can spell as well as a blind meerkat. **


	10. Catching the heart

**Chapter Ten**

**Merida**

Gloves. Why do we need gloves? Hard, leather strips, cold over my knuckles. I clench my hand. Unclench it. If someone told me I had turned into a teddy bear over night, I wouldn't be surprised. My fingers seem fat under the encasement, and I'm so layered with protective padding I can hardly walk without making a sound similar to a whoopee- cushion.

"How can I compete in _this_?" I hiss. Brown Dove secures the hundredth coat onto my body with thick strands of tape. It makes a satisfying _phewt _as she tares it loose, standing back, happily staring at her masterpiece.

"You look like a marshmallow," She says, with utter satisfaction.

"Thank you." I reply, my voice dripping with sarcasm, " That is _just _what I need to look like before a fight. A giant fluffily cloud."

"Exactly! And if you fall out a tree, you'll be ok! Right? And you're ribs are good at the moment?"

"Brown, I can hardly feel my feet. So I think my ribs are going to be fine."

She smiles, " Everyone's rooting for you." She tells me.

"And no one will be now that I look like a overweight cloud."

"Not true! You look as cute as a button!" She thumps me on the back. I only know this because I can see her hand moving- there is no, I repeat, _no _feeling. It's like someone's flipped a switch, making my veins stop delivering blood. Everything is insanely numb.

"You ready?"

"What do you think it's going to be? The challenge, I mean."

She shrugs, " Like, fight to the death with arrows and stuff."

"Great." I pat her with one massive paw," See you later." I say.

She sticks out her tongue, " You hope."

Star stands at the opposite end of the field, looking lean and stern. A grey bow lies flatly across her straight back, and though I can't see her eyes, I have a feeling she's staring directly at me.

"WELCOME TO THE LAST ULTIMATE CHALLENGE! THE NEXT CHALLENGE, OF COURSE, WILL BE THE LAST, SO ONLY TWO WILL BE LEFT WHATSO EVER! AFTER THAT, WELL, IT'S THE FINAL! THE _FINAL FINAL_! HICCUP'S CHOSEN CHALLENGE, FOR MR HICCUP'S HAND!" Gobber has to shout louder than usual, and that's saying something. Like a singular circular egg inside a nest, the Vikings stand in a little huddle, right in the middle of the field, so they can watch us battle to the extreme. How are we battling? I'm not entirely sure.

At the final mention of marriage, Star thumps her foot on the ground menacingly. I lean forward, trying to look scary, but it's a hard thing to do when you look midway between a troll and an obese panda.

"FOR THE FINAL ULTIMATE CHALLENGE!" Gobber yells, " YOU NEED TO PLAY A SIMPLE GAME OF CAPTURE THE FLAG!"

I crease my eyes. Capture the flag? With two people?

"OF COURSE, THIS IS A TEAM GAME!" Gobber yells, " So your team is made from the other competitors, that are already out, or in Elsa's case, in! However, you have no say in whom you get- they'll pick you. So bring 'em in, boys! Let's see who's the most popular outta these drama Queens!"

And out of the middle of the Vikings orb, comes each lost competitor- Isabella to Pinch to Killme to Ruffnut. Elsa's dressed completely in battle gear. The only one missing is Fectory. We all know where she is.

"GIRLS! CHOOSE YOUR TEAM!"

Instantly, Pinch runs towards me, and Ruffnut saunters after her. Killme strolls towards Star, flicking her dark black hair around as she walks. The Vikings lean in, trying to gulp down some of her beautiful perfume. It makes me kind of sick. Isabella seems unsure where to for a second, her tiny waist swerving this way and that, undecided. I motion for her to join my three strong team, and that does it- I suppose she hates weakness. Me asking her to help- that is practically a sin. She sashays away to Star. I grate my teeth. Considering she quit because she was 'hurt', she's not like a hypocrite or anything.

Elsa stands there still, like there's really any choice between me and Star. Does she choose the loyal friend, or the bitter enemy? The complimenting cousin, or the masked maniac? There isn't really any competition.

"Elsa!" I shout. " Over here!"

She stares at me for a second, her eyes wide. Then, almost sadly, she turns and heads towards Star.

My heart stops. " What?" I scream, " WHAT?"

Not only has she _betrayed _me, but now the teams are uneven. Grotesquely so. I stand there, disbelieving. There's a sudden cry from the crowd.

"Hey! That's unfair! I'll play for Merida's team! Especially considering she's injured!"

And Brown Dove breaks through the thicket of bodies.

"No, Brown, no! This could be dangerous!"

"Danger is my middle name!"  
"No, it's no. It'll be Gertrude, or something."

"As right as you are, I'm still helping you. You need me."

"No. I. Do. Not."

She shrugs, " Tough luck, honey."

"ALRIGHT!" Gobber shouts, " Since the teams are now even, here are the flags! Bring 'em here!"

Two tiny boys rush forward, carrying a fat gem. Gaping, I run my fingers over it, taking it slowly- it has a ceaseless smoothness, so silky that I find it hard to believe it's stone. A break of weak sunlight ripples through the clouds, and glows through the dark blue jewel. Only, when it comes through, it shines bright gold, all over my hands and feet.

"Whoa," Pinch says, " That's so pretty."

"What do we need to do with it, Gobber?" I ask the man.

"Stop the other team from getting it to their base. And you need to get theirs. Like I say- capture the flag."

"But what's the prison?" Ruffnut asks, incredulous.

"No prison." He dismisses, " Just need to take them down. Like, shoot them in the leg down. Here are your bows."

One by one, he hands everyone else but me their weapons. I collected mine earlier- a slick, golden thing, that feels almost non-existent on my back. I'm just going to hope that's because it's so light and beautiful- not that my body has as much blood circulation as a sofa.

"So, we just need to run over there and get it?" Asks Pinch. It sounds so violent to her that I can tell that she can hardly believe it.

"Yup."

"And shoot people." She says, raising an eyebrow.

"Yup."

"Like- kill them?"

"Yup."

"Oh."

"Oh." Gobber snorts.

"Can we begin?" I ask. My heart feels like it's been supercharged; both with nerves and adrenaline. Maybe Elsa went on the other team to help me?

"Talk tactics for a few minutes." Gobber says, " Hiccup will blow a horn when the teams are meant to start."

"Ok." I smile up at him. To my surprise, he smiles back.

As he walks off, I gather everyone in. "Alright," I say, " Me and Brown Dove will stay here in defence. Pinch, you're fast. Surprise them with your speed. Ruffnut, cover her. Brown Dove, you stay a bit more out-front. I'll stay right by the gem, since I can barley move in this. We CAN do this, guys. Just run quick and shoot straight."

Everyone nods. " Look out for arrows." I add.

They all nod again. I look behind me at the slight layer of trees that we have to hide in- enough so we can stay hidden, but so those watching continuously know where we are. With a last glance, I dart into the woods. " I'll shoot from the trees." I whisper to Brown Dove as I go.

She nods. She looks just slightly nervous. And then I see the bottle hidden behind her dress. It peeks out the collar like meerkat.

Following my eyes, she says, " Just wait and see."

I bite my lip. Who knows what that could do? Could Elsa be in the crossfire?

A sound like a wailing bird drifts through the air. The fight- the penultimate fight to the final- is on.


	11. Leaving before falling

**Chapter Eleven**

**Merida**

Trees. Roots. Shrubs and sharp sunlight. Holding the stone tight to my chest, I dart through the undergrowth, and within seconds, an arrow flies past my cheek. Ducking down into the ground shelter, I crawl along till I reach a sufficient tree for climbing. The bottom hides me as I shimmy up the tree's side, hearing a sickening thud of an arrow head resonate where my head would've been without the trunk's protection. I'm just glad I'm on the right side.

Trying not to show anything- not even my hands- I cling onto the lowest branch and haul myself upwards. The bow feels weightless on my back, as I quickly find myself among the leaves. I hope and pray that I haven't showed myself enough for someone to get an accurate shot.

Peeling back a small branch, I peer out, looking for Pinch, Ruffnut and Brown Dove. Brown Dove hurries along in a repeating line, too fast for anyone to shoot her from the opposite team. She seems to be spreading a fine white powder onto the dry grass hurriedly.

But Pinch and Ruffnut seem to be no-where. I would hedge my bets their hiding in the longest parts of the turf, crawling along to get through the defence. From here, I have by far the best view. My fingers fumble for an arrow, finding a slick, dove feather one. I load it, keeping my fingers steady as I wait for something to aim at.

Something sprints through the edge of the field, my eyes quickly finding the blonde- black strands among the weak lawn. With a purposeful tug of the arms, I shoot, just where I hope the feet would be.

And I'm right.

Isabella shoots up like a spark, howling in pain. " O wow o wow! Ohhh, Gods oww!"

I hide a smirk. So much for her being a toughie.

Gobber calls a ceasefire as he goes out to collect her. She drapes herself pathetically over his shoulder. Big tears run down her petite face.

One down. Two to go.

Suddenly, a missile of feathers shoots into the grasses at Pinch and Ruffnut. I try to see where it came from, but it seems that Star has the same idea as me- it's flies from the up most top of the trees on the other side of the field.

It must be Elsa in defence, though, because the arrow misses its mark, flying over Pinch's shoulder as she bolts for the trees, and the gem. I clench my fists, hoping against hope that she'll bring back the stone, winning me the challenge.

_Please. _

And then I remember Ruffnut- where is she? And, abruptly, there's another glint of plaits as she jumps from the shrubbery. Within a second, another arrow springs from else where, and I gape in horror as it batters into Ruffnut's leg.

Accurate. Precise. Merciless.

Star.

Desperately, I search for where _that _originated from, and in a quick flash, I notice a blaze of black. Her hood flutters, barley noticeable in the light wind.

Breathing deeply, I load another. She's coming, and I'm ready. This arrow is dark ebony. I know it's meant for her.

Brown Dove calls up to me, " Merida! Hey! Watch this!"

"Not now." I hiss, although I know she can't see, let alone hear me, " Not now, Brown."

From here, I can see her lean down- perilously in the open- and mutter some words behind her hand, casting them onto the powder. There's something unnatural about her serene concentration, as she speaks to the ground.

Once done, she stands back, taking her bow from her back, now ready for an onslaught.

And then I see why she risked so much.

I'm not sure how she did it, but then the white powder sparks to light, skipping along the thin line she made. Fire licks quickly up to the sky, almost as high as the trees. I can't help let on a smile. She's created a wall of flame. We have a shield. All we need now is for Pinch to return, and we've won.

I've won.

There's a rustle behind me. Leaning back on one of the longer tree branches, I prepare my shot. Again, a swoosh from down below, and another flicker of black. The string is stretched back to my lip. My arm aches. I need a clear shot- now.

And then, a shaft flies past my cheek, hitting into the canopy behind. Startled, I let my bolt fly, but to no surprise it hits nothing. I lost my concentration. Heart thudding, I select another. That last arrow was heading for my head.

So why not? We're enemies, after all.

The flutter of a hood, and I let it fly. There's a quick shout of pain, and then a bloody arrow flies lopsidedly back. I hit her, but not critically. It feels almost tongue in cheek that she sent my failure back to me.

"Go on, Pinch!" Brown Dove shouts from in front of me, "Run! Quick!"

Pinch is _running_? A grin slips from my fingers, stretching onto my face. I've won! I've won! I've done it-

Something cold and sharp drives into my shoulder, and for the millionth time, the world spins out of focus, and drops into the dark.

But this is the first time I've plummeted from a tree before it goes.

I leave before I fall.

"I seriously think you should consider dying. Permanently. It would save my Medics a _lot _of hassle."

I smile, but even that stings, " Sorry. I've made a bit of habit."

"As you should be," He says, " Falling out of trees isn't a very attractive quality."

"I'll try and break the trend." I say.

"Good for you. But listen- they've given you a day to heal. Are you feeling ok?"  
I sigh. " I'm feeling much better now."

"So I suspected. Would you like to- I don't know- do something? Toothless is feeling good an-"  
"Wait, slow down. Are _you _asking _me_, Princess Merida, on a _date_?"

He smiles shyly, "I guess."

"Give me a few minutes to contemplate this."

"Alright. Need a drink?"

"Water would be utterly marvellous, aye."

He grins and heads off to fill a clay jug that seems to have developed a taste for me, as I appear here so often. Sighing, I twist slightly, seeing what I've broken. Nothing flares up as it did last time, except my right arm. I think I may have Brown Dove and her beautiful potions to thank for that.

"Hey, Hiccup-" I shout, " Anyone die in the last challenge?"

"Nope!"

"My team won, right?"

"Umm… kind of."

"Kind off?"

"Brown kind of built a shield around your base, which kind of means that it protected you, but Pinch couldn't get back in. So, Gobber called it a draw."

"_What_?"

"Well, Brown Dove couldn't do much when you were shot out a tree. But then she defended the tree sides, and the fire spread, so… yeah. A draw."

"Overall, who's winning, then?"  
"Still Star."

"Oh, dang."

"By like a point. So don't worry."

"I need to win the next one, then?"  
"That or my challenge."

"Which is?"

"Sword Fighting." He whispers, as if it's a precious secret.

"Sword Fighting?" I whisper back, "Why?"

He shrugs. " Like it. And you chose a sword in the arena with the dragon so…."

"You remembered?"

"Despite having the muscles of a disabled chimpanzee, I have my certain quirks."

"More like a disembodied pelican. So where is the marvellous Hiccup taking me out to, then?"

"This beach. An hour or so of riding, but I've been there before and it's great. We can go fishing, and swimming, and build campfires, and… sorry. I'm- you probably don't want to do anything like that."

"No. I hate outdoorsy stuff. I was thinking- how about a Spa date?"

"Umm…"

I bite my lip to keep from laughing. " If not, how about shopping for new clothes?"

"You know, uh…"

I smile up at him, and finally he gets the joke.

"I would _love _to see this esteemed beach. When do we leave?"  
He grabs my hand. " How about…now?"

Soft wind elapses over my body, warm and fragrant. It tastes like something you'd get in the desert- it's blown from somewhere exotic and beautiful. The sky's chalky and pale, the blue leaking into sweet lemon yellow and red at the bottom of the horizon. It looks like flame has met a massive pool of glowing cobalt oil, seeping over the edges of earth and to beyond.

Everything is stunning. Everything is endless.

I wrap my arms tighter round Hiccup's waist, smiling. I wouldn't be surprised is fairies glided in in silver chariots, playing violins and tinkling bells. Although, the sea is a wonderful substitute, rustling peacefully under us like the swish of a heavy white skirt. The waves almost look like that- fold after fold of alluring dress silk.

Apart from that, and the beat of Toothless's wings, everything is silent. Every few minutes, the baying of a seagull rides upon the fresh sea air, the splash of a dolphin below us cascades upwards like ravishing shakes of sapphire perfume- I've never been somewhere so utterly and entirely calm.

Even though I could fall to my death and into the icy sea at like, any moment.

Or onto a rock.

Or the ground.

But to be fair, it would likely be a very nice rock that I splattered onto. And it would likely not be _that _cold. Just minus, like, three hundred.

"Merida," Hiccup breathes, " Can you _please _hang onto me a little less obsessively."  
Colour rushes to my cheeks, and I pull my arms away, wiping them on my shirt. " Oh yeah, ummm…. Sorry, I was feeling sea sick and-"  
Suddenly, Toothless rears to the left, and I begin to slip of the side. My leg unlatches from the body, my head begins to tip, the sea looks close and I start to fall-

"Caught you." He says, tightening his grip on my sliding wrist.

"I think I better hold on." I whisper, breathless.

"I never said you couldn't. Just try not to suffocate me in the process."

"Ok. I'll try."

He smiles, peering over Toothless's ears. "Hey- I think we might be here."

Toothless glides onto the bay as if he's riding a kiddie slide on his belly. It's so effortless, and soon, the tender white sand is crumbling under my feet. If someone had told me the beach had been replaced with three miles of sugar, I would've believed them whole heartedly. The sea melts into the shore, silvery in the late sun, and behind us, sand dunes pile up like three hundred miniature moons. Every few, a gorse thicket of sea grass springs upwards, like a plume of lilac smoke, topped with small cream flowers. Cool, salty air wafts around my legs. Hiccup sighs.

"This is the one place I can truly relax. Apart from Toothless's den, or whatever. Peaceful, huh?"

"Yeah. So- fishing? Or campfire's?"

"You choose."

We go fishing, out on a little ivory canoe, paint peeling of the edges with wrinkling age. The sea is so still, so clear, and we can see the fish as they nibble the line. Hiccup hoists them up from the mirror, a fresh faced reflection, and I thwack it's head on the side of the boat. It breaks the silence (And the fishes neck) But gives me a subtle satisfaction that money just can't buy.

We cook the fish on the campfire; soon, they're more like stubs of black charcoal, thanks to my questionable cooking skills. But it's fine. It's enough. Because you can taste the smoke under the dark scales, the wild, the bursting freshness, the wind and the ocean- above us, the sky darkens, replaced by trillions of fairy lights, and the sun pales, resuscitated as the moon.

We dance around the campfire, signing. We drink lemonade reserves, stolen cakes, crisp apples and orange tarts filled with spice. We lie under the stars, flood in the milky glow, speak until our voices are hoarse, even though they were no more than whispers.

And, when the morning comes, as the sky blushes with pinks and purples and we load ourselves onto Toothless's back, I know, finally, that the _nearly there_ has gone.

I have fallen. Completely and utterly fallen.

I used to think love made you weak. In my mind, it sealed you in chains and took away strength, replacing it with kindness and placidity. But this doesn't make you _weak. _

It makes you stronger. It makes you powerful.

It gives you a reason to live- and a reason not to die.

Tomorrow, or late today, whichever you want to call it, I will fight in my last battle before the Final Challenge.

And I will win, even if Elsa is no longer by my side.


	12. Till my death do us part

**Chapter Twelve**

**Merida**

"You ready?" Brown Dove asks.

"That's a bit of a stupid question." I reply. The ring is moments away, just past this gate. Elsa. Star. Two obstacles to defeat. That is all.

Elsa is no longer a friend ( But she is, she IS!) . I've defeated her before…

But never with an axe.

I've never driven an axe into _anyone. _

I gulp. And gulp again.

"You'll be ok."

"Just stop talking. Please." Bile rises from my stomach, and the floor tilts as my head falls from my shoulders. It shatters onto the floor into a million shards, splintering my feet-

"Merida, calm down. Here. Take this. It'll help with the nerves."

I take the sack with quivering hands. All I can think is that I don't want to compete, please don't make me, let the arena explode, or let Stoick die _now _so it's cancelled, or let the world just dissolve from space. Along with me.

Inside the tiny sack, are three leaves. I chew one, and a bitter taste fills my mouth. It reminds me of sucking a tea bag when I was younger. If anything, it makes me feel even worse, but I take another. Once I'm through this pain, the one I used to remember will be gone.

"Brown Dove, I'm going to die." I whisper. "Star's going to kill me."

"Not if you kill her! Now- go!"

And she pushes me into the ring, through the iron spiked gate. Instantly, the cheers from the crowd buzz out of focus, like the drone of a ship's motor. I try to pin prick shouts, but it's too much of a fuzzy mess. So instead, I concentrate on mundane things- the ruffle of my sleeves, the tickle of my hair on my cheek, the leather strap of the axe, pressing on the inner of my palm.

I realise how much I love being alive right then.

So I stop feeling. I become dead to everything save sight; the sight of Star, and Elsa. She looks stupid in the gear, her white plait held in a spiral on her forehead, her neon lapis eyes highlighted in black. Her whole body is covered in armour, spikes, gauntlets and chainmail. I know I must look the same, but I just feel slow, not protected. Looking at someone highly clothed is very different from being the person heavily clothed.

Star looks completely comfortable in the silver and steel. I almost envy her, but stop myself, because I still have one up on her.

I have the red rage; I have the fire inside.

And I know, when the bell is rung, there will be nothing to keep that storm within.

"WELCOME TO THE FINAL NORMAL CHALLENGE!" Gobber calls, " NEXT, THE FINAL! THE GODS FINAL! THE BEST OF THE BEST!" He rubs his hands together gleefully, " ANYONE ELSE EXCITED?"  
A humongous whoop rises. That's all this is to the Vikings. Sport.

"ALRIGHT, YOU SLEEPING SANDBAGS! LET'S GET THIS PARTY UNDER WAY! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS BE THE LAST ONE STANDING AND THEN YOU'RE DONE! LET'S DO THIS! Hiccup- if you may?"

He stands up, shoulders square. With a pale hand, he reaches out for the copper bell. I wish he wouldn't ring it, and we could just run away. But I know what binds him here- nothing but an old man's wish.

He rings it. The slight tinkle purrs in the new found silence.

I say goodbye to fear. To pain.

I become the fire.

I sprint towards Star, brandishing my axe over my head. I hear myself scream angrily, as my blade clangs together with her's. I trash it round again, trying to slice her fingers, but she niftily leaps backwards, snarling.

I step back, and then with renewed force, I pierce the air near her side. This time, she just deflects, then slips her axe out of the hold to crash it onto my neck. It nicks the skin, but I ignore the sting, as I bring it round to cut her ankle clean in half. She jumps up and my axe flies unstably through the thin air.

She stares at me. For a moment, I think she's terrified. But then I realise she's smug.

I haven't the time to become confused before the axe drives into my calf.

"OWWW!" I scream. I spin round as fast as I can- the end of my calf feels like it's falling off. Elsa stands, robotic, the axe tight in her pale fingers. Blood drips onto the floor.

"Elsa," I gasp, " I'm sorry."

"YAHH!" She screams, brandishing the axe round her neck and flinging it at my stomach. I fall backwards and loose my footing. My broken leg cracks beneath me, and I crumble onto the concrete. I try to get back up, the fire still bright, but my leg won't let me. I know I'll be out if I don't stand- it is, after all, a last one standing competition.

With a final push, I toss myself to the arena wall, balancing my back on its hide. I can stay up like this, if I leave myself on one leg.

Now I know why Star was smug. It's two against one.

As Elsa walks towards me, I desperately search for my axe, but I must've dropped it. It lies, like a broken baby, by her feet.

Within seconds, she's upon me.

I breath. In. Out. In. Out. Everything's hazy- too fast. Slow down.

Death has never seemed real to me. It doesn't seem real now, even when I can feel it approaching- in the form of a friend.

How could I have even _dared_? I was stupid. I was ignorant. But it's going- soon to be gone. I shouldn't care. I won't. I should be enjoying these last seconds. I should be savouring the good bits. I've lived, haven't I? I've done everything I wanted to. I got into this, got out of this, fell in love and- but that's all I really needed. Love, and adventure. I should be glad I got to live such a full life. All be it, a small one.

_Fine. _I think, _Let the abyss come. _

" Any last words?" Elsa's voice will haunt me. I know it will. Because behind it lies his shrieks, tumbling over each other, over and over and over, like layered quilts, rising higher as they grow more panicked. I know I will be missed by Hiccup. How could something I once craved so much turn now so bitter sweet?

"Yes." I say, " I'm done. I'm ready."

I don't look up. I can tell I would be faced only with her brief smile. I once loved that smile. In a flash, I know it's true. I once loved Elsa, like a sister. Like a cousin.

She smiles gauntly.

"Good. Never heard that one before. Do like a bit of change."

"STOP! I BEG YOU JUST- JUST STOP!" Hiccup yells. Between squinted eyes, I look up at him. He struggles with Gobber, trying to reach me-

My heart sighs, falling like a stone even deeper into my ribcage. _Please, _I think, _Don't make this any harder. Elsa, love me how I used to love you. _

And then I stop thinking. Because there it is. The thing I've been waiting for.

Pressure. Metal. Cold. So, so cold.

The hinge of my neck.

_Goodbye._

**Elsa**

Star told you to do this.

_Don't do it. _

Do it. Do it, Elsa.

_Remember the cake. Remember the two bites. Remember how you can change your loyalties again? Two bites, remember? _

Save the change of fate for others. Kill her. Kill her now.

_She looks tired. She looks weak. _

Easy kill. Easy death.

_Shake out the voice. LET IT GO! _

Keep me. Know me forever.

_Two lives. Two changes. Two destinies. Two songs. _

_Two bites. _

_Two bites. _

_Let it go. _

Force it in. Deeper. Deeper!  
_No- no no no no. _

"Elsa! Kill her- now!"

Merida doesn't look at me as I press the axe slowly into her neck. I want to stop. I need to stop.

But I press it in. Deeper. Her skin pulls as the metal presses, and finally bursts open, like a grape. Blood drips from the deepening wound.

She's given up.

Totally given up.

Why? Because I'm not strong enough to battle myself.

I can't let her die under a fault of my own.

_Please-let the fate change now. Please, witch of the dragons, let the fate change- the second one- commence. Don't let her die because of me. _

As if a snake is trying to stop me from thinking, a painful spike drives through my head, suffocating my limbs. I reach past it; into the lake of myself hidden by sorcery. I _must _remember the second bite.

The second fate.

The second song.

With a rip, I feel the snake lessen its hold. I thrash the power out of me; thrash it into my heart, my limbs, my very soul- I destroy myself from the outside in. Or the person I have become.

_GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!_

My limbs fall like jelly, and the axe slips from her skin and onto the floor. My heartbeat slows, like I've suddenly stopped running. Power delves through me. Power... power…

"GO AWAY!" I shout, flinging the ice out of my fingertips, " GO AWAY! GET LOST!"

"Elsa?" Merida croaks. Despite everything, she still leans on the wall. Thick red oozes from her head, her neck, from her eye…

"Oh, Mer." I whisper, " I'm so sorry. It wasn't me. I'll explain everything."

"ELSA?" Star yells, " What, may I ask, are you _doing_?"

"I am stopping myself from killing my friend." I hiss to the floor.

"How? May I ask you_ that_?"

"Two bites." I say, "Didn't know about that, oh great sorceress?"

"Two- what?"

"A second change fate, idiot."

Fury eclipses over her shadowed face, as she drowns in bitter understanding. "You!" She points her axe at Merida, " This is all _you_!"

"No." I say. " It was never her. It was me."

Star draws back her shoulders. "Fine." She says. " You want to fight me?" She begins to slink towards me, " Fight me."

"Happily." I hiss. My knuckles crack with power. With ice.

I throw it all at her.

**Merida**

Stay up. Keep strong.

_Don't die don't die don't die. _

Blood in my mouth. Blood in my eyes.

_Don't die don't die don't die. _

Concrete under my fingers. Black slabs. White stone.

_Don't fall don't die don't fall. _

Gorge into cracks. Haul on the wall.

_Live stand don't die don't fall. _

Elsa fighting Star with fingers. Star fighting Elsa with steel.

_Get up don't die don't fall. _

"MERIDA!"

_Live stand up don't die. _

Elsa has long fingers. Star has long claws.

_Help her don't die don't fall. _

Axe on feet. Ice on shoulders.

Bruises like flowers. Flowers like clouds.

Axe banging on shins. Ice squeezing heads.

Blood drips on the horizon. Horizon dripping to night.

_Stand up keep strong help Elsa she's falling don't die don't die please don't die. _

Slitted eyes. Watch them fight. One will fall.

Blood on lashes. Blood in the sky.

Pain.

_Don't die don't die please no. _

Elsa's falling. Her powers are dwindling. Star is hacking at her ankles.

Bloody stumps. Broken bones. Broken neck.

A man shouts that Elsa is out. He tells Star to stop.

_Stop don't die don't die. _

Ants the size of cars. Girl the size of ant. She picks me up. Brushes me off.

"You're alright. You're fine. Don't give up. The final's tomorrow. Merida! Merida! Oh my gods, don't you _dare _close your eyes on me! Don't you dare die!"

Her voice fades to a drone.

The world fades to a drone.

I fade to something even less.

Gulp down blood. Oil in chest. Filling up lungs.

_Don't die don't die don't d-_

**Hi! sorry for this slightly confusing chapter (Ok, more than slightly). Elsa could change allegiances because she took two bites- two fate changes. That's why the cakes always taste so awful- so people only take one. Merida was watching the fight between Star and Elsa, of which Star won, and then she faints. Quite deeply. Maybe she dies- maybe she doesn't. I'll probably update soon ( Since i had already completed this story when i uploaded it. Hahaha! *Evil laughter*) PLEASE tell me if you like this chapter- i don't mind if it's constructive criticism, as long as it's useful. I'd be so happy to hear what YOU think of my writing. Shall i update now, or later? HMMMM... ( RhinoDino scratches her chin, then decides she wants a cup of tea, completes the changes to the chapter, closes the computer and walks off. Then remembers there is such a thing as YouTube and Fanfiction, henceforth returning to her life on a computer screen.) **

**Thanks :-DDDD! **


	13. Embracing Storms

**Chapter Thirteen **

**Hiccup**

She doesn't wake up in the afternoon.

She will.

I know she will.

Even if everyone else thinks she won't.

She doesn't wake the week after. Her hair sticks to her pale face, slick and oily. Her mouth hangs open slightly, breathing lightly, uneasily.

Everything is almost non existent, and when it's present, you can understand how hard it is just to keep it at that slight level. Each day, she grows whiter and more pallid, less like a warrior and more like a mouse.

How is a mouse going to fight death? How is a mouse going to fight the stars?

Brown Dove apologies to her everyday, in a un hearing ear. She tried to get through the barrier to help, but nothing happened. Whoever was in charge of the gate obviously was very soulless.

But who was in charge? The man my father appointed, or my father?

Who has almost (_almost. _She's not dead. She's _not_) killed the girl I love?

I close me eyes. I close my hand around hers. I close myself down, listening only to her tiny breaths. They remind me of singular butterflies- beautiful and delicate and ready to die at a word.

I can't let this butterfly die.

**Merida**

Cold light. It's far away.

Cold hands holding mine.

But inside, I'm burning. My ribcage flows with fire, my heart spits with smoke instead of blood.

Even the coldness cannot shock me into life.

Suddenly, the hands tare away. Iron voices peel through my ears. Shouting. Clawing.

"Stop it!" I want to scream. "Leave me alone!"

Because I want to be left alone in the darkness. I want this forever to end.

Too much pain. Too much life.

I can't remember why I'm here.

Maybe I don't want to. Maybe I know that would give me the power to hold on.

The cold hands return. The finger runs over and over my thumb, continuous, like silk.

"..rid. i..ov..y.." The voice springs leaks. I try and understand, I really do. But the honey stays logged in my ears, and the ringing continuous. I wish I could grasp each word, hold them close. Even one full sentence would revive me.

Meaning. Essence.

Maybe I am meant to let go.

**Hiccup**

"Hiccup, listen. Merida's dead. She's _not _waking up. Why don't you just marry me and get over it?"  
"Get over it? Get over you _killing _her? I heard what you said in the ring. Everyone did. You're a witch and a snake."

"If you knew who I really was, you'd never say that. You'd apologise, like, right now."

"So show me!"

"I _can't_. As soon as I win the tournament, I will. Then Stoick can't do anything." She shivers.

"He can. He will."

"You'll step in. You'll make sure he doesn't."

I crease my eyes together. "Who are you, Star? Whose hiding under that hood?"

"I wish you knew."

"So do I. But can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Anything."

"Do you think Astrid Hofferson is dead?"

"I can't answer that until you answer this- Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, tell me- how much do you care?"

I smile. " Want to know the truth? I don't. But I need to understand what happened to her- if she ever loved me, if it was all a lie, or if she really died. Out of curiosity."

Star cocks her hood. " And do you want to know the truth? About Astrid? You don't deserve to know what happened to her, since you got over her so soon."

"So _soon_? I spent six mont-"

But before I can finish my sentence, she's swept out the room and left.

I squint at her decaying shadow as she leaves. There's something I like about her- she's so strong and outright. At the same time, she annoys me more than anyone else I've ever met.

She reminds me of someone, but someone I can't remember.

Merida murmurs from behind me. I pounce back for her hand, rubbing my finger over her knuckle.

Her eyes flicker under the lids. Her breath whispers across my hair. I realise then how much I really can't loose her.

I've lost so much. I'm loosing so much.

I will not loose this.

But what can I do?

I lean in close, and whisper straight into her broken ear. I hope she can hear what I said. I hope she feels the same.

And then there's a bang from outside.

...

**Hiccup**

"Brown Dove! What the _hell _is going on?"

She holds her hands round the back of her head. " I have no idea! They just… they just _came_!"

"They can't just have came!"

"But they did!"

We stare out from the cliff, among the rustling gorse. The sea rumbles under us, thrashing on the cliffs. The waves are high, riding on the back of the stormy wind. Navy clouds bristle on the horizon, vertical sleet falling in a mist only a few miles away.

I can't help feeling we should be inside, collecting food and closing windows. The storm looks like it's going to be a big one.

But it's not the storm we're looking at.

It's the ships.

"Whose ships are they?" Brown Dove whispers. Her hands are shaking like a leaf. She's never been in a battle before, but probably seen plenty.

I peer at the sails, racing the oncoming clouds. One is blue and a dark toned green, splitting down the middle, the other a scrappy brown. The beige one has a strange, twisting silver symbol on it, and the blue has a yellow flower in the middle of the two colours.

"I don't recognise them." I tell her, " But-"

"PRINCE HICCUP!"

I spin round, to see a dark haired boy stumble up the headland. Sweat drips off his forehead, around his arms and his gangly body.

"Lee?"

"Your father wants to see you! He's… he's…"

"He's _what_? What, Lee?"

"He's taken Elsa… Queen Elsa..." He pants, breathing heavily. Gulping back wet more wheezes, and says, " He's take Elsa under hostage! Those are her ships on the horizon!"

"But why would Elsa send ships? And there are two ships there!"

He turns away. " The one with the blue sails- that's her's. But the other is Merida's tribe- they heard about what happened and they're…" He presses a hand on his chest. It rises quicker than a tidal wave.

"Lee, here. Take some off this." Brown Dove digs into her pocket, brining out dried orange leaves and black, dusty berries. He stuffs it in his mouth, completely trusting, and smiles. "That's amazing." He says. " I already feel better."

"Course you do! Why'd I give it to you otherwise, dumbass?"

He pats her on the shoulder, and then turns back to me. " They heard about- you know- and they're here to take Merida back and nurse her themselves. And if she doesn't wake up, then, well, you can imagine. They're not exactly the most placid of people."

"So what? They'll rage war?"  
"More or less."

I rake a hand through my hair. " Oh Thor."

"I know."

"What happens if she wakes up before they get here?"

"Hiccup…"  
"What?"  
"Spies say they'll take her anyway. Do you think they'll really want her to continue in a competition that has nearly killed her several times?"  
"They can't take her away now."

"They can."

I rub my temple, trying to process everything. " What's happening with Elsa, then?"

"Well, word on the street is that there's been problems back home, and this rebel group was getting all suspicious. So they came, and then Princess Anna came too, just as like… visitors. And on the way, they found out about the… heel hacking. So I guess they're not all too happy. So you're father decided he would take her as hostage. Seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Ok. All right. Take me to him. I need to see the man."

...

"Hiccup! Get you're armour on, boy! It's time for battle!"

But I just stare.

"Umm… father? How did you…?"  
"How did I _what_? Spit it out, son!"

"You were dying! You were _bed ridden_! And now you're…"  
He's wearing heavy bronze armour, complete with battle spikes. He's fresh faced. Bright eyes shine under his helmet. A sword rests readily in his sheath.

He strides up to me, patting me on the shoulder. "One day, son, you'll understand. Oh, and shut you're mouth, else flies will be gobblin' up your teeth."

With a final bristled smile, he walks out the door, adding, as he goes, " Oh, and you may want to talk to Elsa. Seems a bit… weird. Cellar six, under the girl's dormitories. Quick, quick! We'll need you're help with the dragons in the battle!"

The door slams shut.

Guess the flies will be having full tummies tonight then.

...

"Elsa?"

My feet clang on the iron floor. The whistle of the wind from above is the only sound otherwise. Everything else is strangely quiet. Normally, it's warmer down here, although it's never particularly hot.

But today, it's cold.

Ice cracks along the bars, squeezing the metal angrily. Frost batters the floor, so each step I take crunches like I'm walking on crisps. It crumbles with every foot fall. Dust floats in the air, each sway laboured and yet effortless.

Everything is so unnaturally cold and still. The dark cellar and the dead silence prickling on my skin makes me think of death. Is this what that blackness will feel like?  
Shattering the motionless quiet is the shuffle of dirty chains. I peer round the cellar door. A scrape of metal, and a girl yanks the handcuffs. Her blonde white hair is muffled and frizzy, and dirt covers her beautiful face.

"Elsa?" I repeat.

"Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show. No. Don't let it go. Keep it in. Perfect girl. Power. White on the mountain." She gasps, a ruffled, mangled sounds. Her feet shuffle on the floor, and I try not to look. There is nothing but bloody stumps where her ankles used to be.

Brown Dove said she could heal her, but I'm not sure. And that's saying something. I've never doubted her before.

"Elsa." I say again.

"Merida. Star. Anna. Don't cry. Never cry. Don't care. Never care." She throws her head to the sky, suddenly howling- "Get OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!" She twists and writhers uncomftabley, like she's trying to shove something out her body.

"Elsa." I say firmly. Although I'd rather not say so, seeing her like this creeps me out. In the ring, she was always composed and calm. It seemed as if nothing could shake her.

And now… everything about her looks uncontrolled and rabid. I almost don't want to talk to her. My bravery is dripping thin.

"Hiccup?" Her voice shakes, as she finally looks at me, " Is Anna here?"

I reach through the bars. " Not yet." I whisper.

She tries to stretch for me, but her hands are tied to the floor. "Help me." She croaks. " Get me out of here before I kill everyone."

" I can't. I'm sorry."

She bites her lip, icicles leaking from her eyes. It seems as if she's crying frozen tears.

"I never wanted to marry you, you know."

"I know. I don't think anybody really did."

"Merida does. Did. Hiccup, I wasn't in control, I promise. It wasn't me. Star had done something, I swear."

"I know. We all heard what she said."

"Hiccup?"

"Yeah?"

" I think Star loves you, too. That's why she's fighting so hard."

"No. She just wants power."

Elsa gives me a look of sympathy. "My kingdom wishes you well really, Hiccup. They're just scared."

"Scared?" I say, "Of what?"

"Of having to put up with Anna for a Queen. As much as I love her to pieces, I think she'd rather be eating chocolate than running a kingdom."

I laugh, despite her dry tone. " I can understand _that _fear."

"Hiccup?" She asks.

"What?"

"Don't die out there."  
"Out there?" I ask, but she ignores me.

"And embrace the storm." She says, "I mean it. Not all clouds bring rain."

I'm just about to ask her what she means when the wall shatters, and world explodes.

They're here.

**Ok, PLEASE tell me what you think of this :-) I know, yet another sluggish chapter. But yeah. 5 reviews for this section? I'd LOVE to get that! Thanks so much, hope this isn't as boring as proof reading it is. And yes, any mistakes found; i would be grateful if you could point it out. :-D**

**DinoRhino x**


	14. Running for time

**Chapter Fourteen **

**Merida**

The coldness has gone. All that's left is heat.

Should I let it consume me?

Should I let go?

There is no one here to witness my weakness. I could fade with no one knowing.

So why don't I?  
Maybe it's thinking about the orange leaves, crinkling like smiles in autumn. Maybe it's the tinkling of rivers back at my camp. Maybe it's the trees, setting alight with colour when the end of the year comes, or the branches when they sway bare in the wind. Maybe it's the rosy clouds littering the horizon, or the sun melting red at the closing of the day. Maybe it's the snow, crumbling under tiny bare toes. Maybe it's the cut green grass, tickling the underbellies of feet.

Maybe the woman, or the man, or the three little boys, planning they're next trick, with or without me. I always left it for them to decide.

Or maybe it's me, and my stubbornness to leave this god-forsaken place with a job still undone.

Suddenly, a muffled boom from outside thuds among my head. I think I can hear screaming, but I'm not sure. It could be gulls, baying for they're next meal. Or it could be Hiccup, shouting hideously as a sword drives through his gut.

_Hiccup. _

The name comes in a spark.

_There's _my reason.

_There's _my maybe.

With a shuddering gasp, I find I'm opening my eyes.

**Hiccup**

In a second, the wall shatters as a cannonball breaks through the wall. Elsa screams, and I dive back as debris sprays all around. Two men dressed in black leap through the hole, armed, and don't see me for a second as I stare.

Then they do.

"Run! Run!" Elsa yells.

With a tang of regret for leaving her, I do. My calves burn as I leap up the steps, the trailing warriors thudding behind. I hear them exchange words- a Scottish accent breaks through.

Great. I'm being chased by people who think I murdered they're princess.

And then I remember Elsa. Thor, what have I done?

They can't get in, though. The iron to the prison is unbreakable, unless you find the key. And the two sides came together, so they must know Elsa was under a spell, mustn't they?  
Thor, I'm meant to be clever!

As I reach the end of the steps, I take a hesitant glance over my shoulder. Like I thought, two men are chasing me. Despite myself, I'm glad. At least no one's going to kill Elsa.

I know the chambers, too. I know where I can get a bow, and a sword. I can defeat these guys.

Quick as a dragon (Is Toothless ok?) I bolt down the lengthy corridor to the weapons cupboard. Darting into the room, I slam the door shut, and lock it whilst I select my foil.

Through a little glass window, I see them run past. They've lost me, and they know it.

What if they find Merida? I can't let them take her! Despite my own selfish reason's, I know she needs Brown Dove and her medicine. Without her, she's doomed.

Then I have a horrible thought.

Where is Brown Dove? On the field?

She wanted to fight when me and Gobber were choosing. But she's so small, and through her tough talk, she's weak without her potions. Hopefully, she'll have some of that liquid on that she wore in the ring.

Hopefully.

Pushing the idea away, I select a thin blade, an ivory skinned bow, and a few handfuls of arrows. Stuffing the sword through my belt, I load the bow and gently unlatch the door.

But I'm not chasing the men.

I need to get to Merida.

...

**Merida**

Through slits of eyes, a white roof pins into focus. Dark blue birds decorate the ceiling, spinning among each other idyllically. The smell of dirty linen fills my nose, and bleach. The screams don't crystalize, though, like everything else does. That stays muffled.

With a quivering hand, I peel off the bed sheets. They're sodden with sweat. As I stand, the world tips, blood rushing from my head into half dead limbs. I steady myself my leaning on the wall. A sharp sting of pain hits when I lean on my neck.

Squeezing my lips tight to keep from swearing, I breathe. In. Out. Focus.

Thumb to finger. Press temples. Breathe. Once. Twice.

There's a crash of someone coming up the stairs.

In a flash, I assess the places I could use for hiding. Under the bed, in the curtains- nothing that wouldn't be spotted. Digging my nails into my palms , I tiptoe onto the window sill, hauling myself up onto the ledge before drawing the thick brown shades. Praying they won't see me, I close my eyes.

I can hope.

The grating sound of a door opening breaks my trance. To me, each breath I take seems immeasurable loud.

"Y…hi…sh.. ?" Someone says.

"I..ho…t.s.e..oul. !" Garbles another.

They sound… Scottish. What are my people doing here?

"W….y.. …!" The first man says. He sounds supernaturally close. How have they not seen me?

"Le…g.." The other one sighs.

And the door closes again. I unclench my hands, letting out a breath.

" !"

"W..t.y.u..ear.. ..py..ld..roll?"

"M…da!"

"Oh.f. .ness..ake,…n! We'.e.j..t _l..ked_!"

"I..ear!"

They reopen the door. I see the two shapes move in silhouette's, and I press myself hard on the window pane. Maybe they'll leave for good this time… maybe…

"H.Y!" Hiccup shouts, " !"  
With a frustrated growl, I yank at my ear lobe. This is getting _ridiculous. _

To my surprise, it works.

"The boy! He's coming!"

"Let him come, Dingwall. What's he gonna do, pickle us?"

"Yes! Or… put us in fish food!"  
"Good god, man. The drama. Imagine having to defeat a _goldfish_."

I think I hear Dingwall actually whimper.

Suddenly, I hear the thud of approaching feet. Another silhouette enters the picture.

"What have you done with her, boy?"

"I've done _nothing_! What have _you _done? Where is she?"

"I could ask you the same question! Two on one, boy. We just want her back."

"Stop talking riddles. Where have you put her?"

"You stop it, you dragon huggin' pussy! I've had enough of yer lip twistin! Tell me where she is, else this here arrow is going to find you're pretty little head!" Dingwall shouts.

"I'm fed up with this! Can't you see she's in better care here? Tell me where she is else I'll shoot, you bog drinking troll!"

"That's what we all say." The other man sighs, shaking his head.

"NOW!" Dingwall shouts, stomping his foot.

"TELL ME!" Hiccup screams, drawing back the bow string. Dingwall does the same.

"STOP!" I yell, jumping from the sill, " CAN'T YOU JUST TALK LIKE CIVILIZED HUMAN BEINGS?"

They stare at me like they've seen a three eyed radioactive hamster. Or a ninja cat.

"Look, I'm not dead, and I'm not coming back home. I've got a job to be doing, and I'm ruddy well going to finish it."

"You need to come home, lass." Dingwall says gently, as he recovers from the shock. "Yer mother was worried sick when she heard."

"I'll bet she was."

"And yer father hasn't slept for days! Kept on plottin' and schemin' and we just had to come! And Arrendale joined us along the way. Fine bunch." The other man nods, like we're describing bunches of grapes for wine, not bunches of people for battle.

"Well. I'm not coming." I say. With a tender foot, I move closer to Hiccup, " I'm staying right here and finishing what I started."

Dingwall shrugs. " Go tell yer daddy that, lass. He's battling like a drunken emu just out these here doors."

The other man nods to Hiccup. " Yer dad too, sonny. Seems to have healed up nice and fine."

"What, what? With each other?"

"Seems to be."

For a second, my heart stops. But I know I shouldn't be the one that's worried. My father's not the one that's been bed ridden for months.

"We need to go." Hiccup breaths.

"We do indeed." I reply.

In one swift, un-thought movement, he reaches for my hand and we dart out the door.

"Just so ya know, I ship you! True love forever!" I hear Dingwall shout from behind.

"Don't tell 'em that, ya manky troll, else we'll never get her back! Ya know, ya remind me of a mad parrot thingy, squawking stupid things all the time in those ghastly boxers…" And the scolding fades.

In spite of it all, I find myself smiling.

...

Almost instantly, my legs begin to ache. After so long out of it, curled up and dying, running is really taking its toll. But I can't let that effect me.

We need to get to our parents.

"You ready?" Hiccup asks, reaching for the doorknob that leads out of the hospital.

_Ready for what?_ I want to ask. _Death? I'll never be ready. I'd like to stay here and cower. _

But I won't. I mustn't.

And that is what makes me brave, in the end. Not the way I'm never afraid, because I am, but the way I stand up to the darkness even when I'd really rather not.

_You can't stand up to the dark until you understand what's hiding in the shadows, _my mother used to say.

She's right.

With a tight smile, I nod, and Hiccup opens the door.

**Ok, nearing the end now... anyone having a stab at the twist? (NOT the one about who Star is... i think i made that one a tiny bit too easy...) Yes, again, i would adore some more reviews, positive or not. Thanks, hope you liked this a little :-D**

**DinoRhino x**


	15. The Stars are not wanted now

**Ok, before I start this chapter, the title is from part of a sonnet called the twelve songs. The last part reads: **

**_The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;_**

**_Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;_**

**_Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood_**

**_For nothing now can ever come to any good. _**

**Always gives me chills. *Shivers***

**Hopefully, the reason for the title will become clear soon. Hope you like this a little, and that you don't get to confused by my writing! ( I always am :-| )**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Merida**

The first thing is the blood.

The second is the bodies.

Then the battle.

You can't tell Viking from Scotsman. Both are clad in tight armour, both brandishing swords and knives. People whither on the floor like decaying fish, and I clasp my hand over my mouth. Sickness rises in my throat like a storm.

Finally, I notice the snow.

Like the very clouds are falling, snow rages in a dizzying swirl, and thrashing shards of lightening pierce the sky. The storm has an irregular pattern to say the least- every second or so, when a sword is about to spill blood, a crack of wind will slice through the course, saving the life.

It must be Elsa.

And that must mean she's alive.

"Can you see them?" Hiccup breathes.

I squint through the quivering mass of bodies. " There?" I point to two huge, red haired men, slashing at each other ferociously.

Hiccup creases his forehead, " You're right."

"HICCUP!" Someone screams, " Get over here!"

"One second, Astrid!" He cries. I stare at him, and he looks just as shocked.

"Astrid?" I croak.

He looks fiercely around. " I don't see her."

"She's dead. I thought…"

"Probably someone else." He shivers, " Let's get over there."

No one notices as we shove through the crowd. Each fighter is so consumed with hate upon one another, that no one sees the two teenagers slinking to their battling fathers. I feel undercover, so-

"Merida!" A hand grabs across my arm, yanking me backwards.

"Hey!" I yell, trying to reach for Hiccup, as he gets lost in the throng. A burly bicep wraps around my mouth, and I try to scream, but no sound comes out.

"Merida, lass, you need to come home." I strain to see who it is.

I bite Lord Makintosh's arm.

"GEDOFFME!" I screech.

But he just strangles me tighter. " Ya don't understand."

I claw for air. " HICCUP!" I howl.

And then I see it. My father, standing over Stoick, sword raised. Fire burns in my eyes.

"Dad," I whisper. " Don't kill him."

"STOP!" Hiccup shouts. His terrified voice screeches through the falling snow, as if it's provided a sudden muzzle for the noise. I don't know how Elsa's done it- controlled the noise as well as the storm.

Or maybe it's something else.

My father looks up, panting. To my relief, Stoick is still breathing slow, raspy breaths. Under his armour, his chest moves slow.

Hiccup meets my father's eyes.

"You!" He cries, pointing his sword, " You have stolen my daughter! You've killed her, you BEAST!"

"No-" He says, " I didn't. I wouldn't. Please, just listen. Just let me s-"

"BEAST!" Fergus howls. His screech retches through the haze. Every warrior stops, turns. Hiccup and Father face each other, one with a blade, one without.

"Letmaygaw!" I growl into Makintosh's arm, but my mouth just fills with hairy flesh, " Letmaygaw…"

With a shivering hand, Hiccup draws a tiny knife from his boot. Has neither of them seen me?

"You don't want to do this." He warns Fergus.

"Yes, I do. You murdered MY DAUGHTER!"

And Dad runs, sword bared. He slashes at his head, but Hiccup ducks, just skimming his skull. But Father doesn't stop, swiping at his stomach. Hiccup leaps, the blade dashing his tunic. The ruined material strips open, torn to shatters in seconds.

"AGGHHH!" Fergus screams. With a huge fist, he deals a final blow angrily across his jaw. It makes gloriously grotesque contact, ironing as the jaw makes a horrendous crack. I scream as Hiccup falls to the floor, thudding into the snow.

Finally, I break free. "DAD, STOP!" I call, " PLEASE, STOP! I'M OK!"  
But whatever has bound everyone else to silence, has bound me too. I stand, transfixed. My throat burns with anguish, my eyes streaming as the snow begins to fall lighter.

Still.

Cold.

Silence.

Makintosh takes my second of disbelief to catch me again. He grabs me tighter, stronger, and though I struggle, there's nothing I can do.

Nothing.

It was meant to be me who died.

Always me.

Not him.

Never him.

Fergus raises his sword. Snow glints gently on the blade, weak sunlight shimmering silver and white. Father tightens his hands on the red hold. Breaths.

He's going to really murder him.

I've never felt so helpless.

_Please, _I think,_ let it be I instead. Not him. Never him. _

I wonder if Elsa can stop it, like she stopped so many other deaths. But the weaning snow, the silence- it can only mean one thing.

We're all drained.

This is really the end.

I can't watch.

I can't look away.

With a final scraping yell, my father brings down the sword. And with a sickening slice, it buries into flesh.

It hits.

It hits hard.

But my eyes widen in glee.

….

**Hiccup**

Blood. Wet. Red.

It's not mine.

Someone leapt in to take the blow.

A cloaked body falls onto the ground, Merida's father's sword sticking out of her side. As soon as it hits, a sort of darkness falls of Star, and her hood falls away.

My stomach falls.

It twists.

It breaks.

"NO!" I scream, " NO! NO! NO! NO!"

Astrid.

Star is Astrid.

It was her cry I heard.

Her I kissed.

Her I pushed.

"ASTRID!" I yell. Blood from the wound sprays across her face, her perfect face, her beautiful face. Her honey blonde hair whispers around her fallen cheeks, like a halo. My tears form a flowing river on her cheek, washing away the blood.

"Hiccup?" Merida whispers. She stands at the edge of the circle, her hands slack by her sides. She looks shocked, but almost relieved.

I hate her, for a second.

But I know I love her more.

She walks slowly to my side, linking an arm around my shoulder.

"I'm sorry," She whispers. " I'm so sorry."

And I just cry.

She never died. She never left, really.

She came back. She loved me, and I hated her for it.

And now… and now this.

"Hiccup," her voice is weak, and she gently opens her vivid blue eyes. Merida gasps- they are exactly the same shade as her own.

"I love you." She murmurs, " I always have."

My mouth doesn't move, because she knows my reply. She knows I no longer love her back.

"I didn't want to… to leave." In a hard movement, she spits and coughs blood. The scarlet splatters upon her lips, making them redder than a rose. "I… I had to."

I don't ask why. I don't need to know.

"Live," I whisper, " Don't leave again."

"I…"

"Star, I'm sorry." Merida murmurs from beside me. " I understand what you meant about staying away, now. It… it would've been better for you. I should never have come."

She grins. " I hate you." She says, " But I hope you live…" She closes her eyes, then gulps, " Live happily."

"Don't say that," I rasp, " Please don't."

"It was Stoick." She says suddenly.

"What?" I ask.

"I- ask the girl. Ask the bird." She smiles softly. Her face is so white. A blossom of fringe falls across one eye.

The sick feeling in my stomach deepens.

"I love you," I whisper, " Not like that, but I do. You're just brilliant… please don't go. Just _stay_."

She smirks, and lifts a weak hand to touch under my chin. "Always such a fighter. But I jumped in here for a reason. It _wasn't _to live and see Merida's kids run around your feet."

I gulp, blushing. That was head on.

"I jumped because I love you. I don't care if you don't love me back."

There's a disgusting sound, like she's gurgling on blood. " I see angles. And people. Dancing."

She reaches up to a space behind my shoulder. "Valkyrie…" she moans.

There's a subtle shift in the air behind me, and Astrid's hand falls to the ground, among the snow.

"Please…" My voice scrapes, " Please, no…"

She closes her eyes easily. Kindly. Gently. Like she never shouted, never fought, never loved. As if she's nothing but another body lying on the floor.

"BROWN DOVE!" I yell, " HELP! SOMEONE, PLEASE!"

Silence. Snow falls on my forehead, cold and soft on my anger.

"Astrid," I grate, " Don't go…"

But she doesn't reply.

**Merida**

It all makes sense.

The harshness of her. The utter determination to win.

The way she spoke to me before Fectory died.

_"Wounds that don't need to be inflicted-" She's said. _

_"Already inflicted," I'd replied. _

_ " Hearts that don't need to be severed-" She'd said. _

_"Which are already healed," I'd replied._

_"Words that don't need to be said." _

_"Got it. Whispered, then."_

I'd been such an idiot. I should've just stayed away.

Wounds that don't need to be inflicted- this gaping hole in his heart.

Hearts that don't need to be severed- his heart is split in two.

Words that don't need to be said- I should've never told him…

And now Star's dead. It should be me. It was always meant to be me.

But it's her.

She lies with the sword in her side. She lies, with closed eyes.

But why conceal her identity? What was the point? Where were the gains? What had she said- ask the bird? What does that mean?

"BROWN DOVE!" Hiccup yells, " SOMEONE HELP! PLEASE!"

She doesn't answer. But somehow, I know she's ok. Waiting. If she doesn't want to reveal herself, they'll be a reason. She's too clever.

And I know she knows what we all do. Not even her mending hand can bring Astrid back.

_Astrid. _The name fits her, like she's a completely different person from Star. That girl was evil, hiding under a cloak; part of the shadows- but Astrid was real, almost funny in her last seconds of life.

"Astrid," Hiccup's moaning voice barley escapes his mouth. " Don't go…"

But she goes, and the last shadow falls from her perfect face, leaving only light.

**OMG finally! I've been waiting for ****_ages _****to upload the scene Star is finally revealed. Reviews were saying they knew who Star was and i was like- I WANT TO UPLOAD THIS SO BAD! Tell me what you think ****_please _****it would be great to hear what you think :-) And thank you for all the lovely comments ( Most of which I don't deserve) I'm really sorry if my writings unclear. It always seems to be when i check through it, but i suppose only the reader can really judge. Any constructive criticism is welcome too. **

**:-D**

**DinoRhino x**


	16. Dismantling the sun

**Chapter Sixteen **

**_3 weeks later_**

**Hiccup**

The sun is soulless. I always think there are certain types of sunlight- white crystal rays, golden honey rays, and crisp, sharp blades of snarling brightness. This is most certainly the latter.

It hangs low and heavenly in the pastel blue sky, almost convincing me it's the moon instead. Wisps of clouds drape upon the horizon occasionally, but there is no wind.

The sea is so still, like a mirror, reflecting Odin's kingdom. Will Astrid be dining with Valkyrie's, dancing with fallen warriors? Or will she be protecting the world tree, a _Celestial, _like in Brown Dove's book?

Father isn't here to attend her funeral.

One by one, we all speak, me being the last. I can barley get a word out, each sentence tattered and ragged, somehow deformed before it's even sprawling off my tongue.

Merida goes last. She wears a long white gown, wafting off her shoulders. For a second, I have a flash of memory- I feel as if I know this scene from somewhere. The sea, frozen cold. The boat, carrying the girl dressed in dark black. Merida, dressed in cloud white. Gulping back a cry, remembering the dream, the dead eyes, both blue. I turn away as she begins.

"I didn't know Astrid." She says, " But I knew Star. We didn't get along, but I have a feeling me and Astrid might've done. She seemed tough, and nice. But as Star, she knew things I didn't, things that made her strong, me weak and stupid. But we were both determined, and she just got the short stick. That should be me, lying on that boat. It would've been, if I was able." She closes her eyes, the edges lightly tinted sky blue. She looks so beautiful, her red hair streaming like blood from her head.

"But this isn't about me. It never was. So instead, I'm going to talk to you about forevers. Someone told me once that forever doesn't mean _forever. _We all have our own, begging when we're born, ending when we die. Some parts of our forevers are sad. Some are beautiful. Some seem endless.

The person who told me this was getting married. She was happy, and the speech shone. It seems dark I'm telling something so lovely here, at such an ugly occasion. But we need to get through the dark times to see the light. And these are dark times.

We are here to remember the ending of a forever. But it's not really the end, because we _will _remember. She will stain our minds, and our hearts. And I, for one, will not try to wash out this stain. I will wear it proudly, till people accept it. This isn't the end for Astrid. Her story will live on, and her forever was wonderful and beautiful. She is what this world needs. And there isn't enough of it.

She was brave."

Merida wipes a sleeve along her nose, and a tear dribbles along my cheek. I hadn't realised I was crying.

"So that's it. But I've never been good at speaking, so I'll finish of by singing. My mother and father taught me, so somehow it seems right. An apology for what my fathe- for what King Fergus did."

And she opens her mouth.

The voice is shaky and quiet, but crystalline. Each word is like water to a sore man's lips, like honey to a bee. No tricks. No breaths. Pure, undiluted, raw.

_This love it is a distant star,_

_Guiding us home what ever we are,_

_This love it is a burning sun,_

_Shining light on the things that we've done,_

_I tried to speak to you every day,_

_But each word we spoke the wind blew away-_

_Could these walls come crumbling down?_

_I want to feel my feet on the ground,_

_And leave behind this prison we share-_

_Step into the open air."_

By the end, she's crying too.

The arrow's men draw back they're bows, and fire flaming arrows into the sky. One by one, they hit they're mark.

In one second, her body becomes inferno.  
Why did she go? She loved me. She _died _for me.

She didn't want to leave.

Her forever is over.

Now it is time to figure out why.

**Ok, quite a short chapter, but there's not much left anyhow. Anyone guessed why Astrid disguised herself? Thanks for all the great comments :-) Hope i don't disappoint :-( Oh, yeah, and the song is by disney. It's called ' Into the open air'. It's so pretty! Thanks again :-DDDD**

**DinoRhino x (p.s, i sometimes put RhinoDino when i'm reviewing when i'm not sighed in. Sorry!) **


	17. Finding Holes

**Chapter 17**

**Merida**

As soon as the funeral's over, Hiccup runs. Gathering my hands into fists, I pound after him. I _need _to talk to him. If he hasn't worked it out yet, this is all about Brown Dove. Who else could be the bird?

But he doesn't stop, determined. I watch as he darts into the woods, unaware of anything but the finish line.

Where is he going?

Suspicion creeps up my spine. I've never seen this part of the forest before. Why hasn't he showed me?

He still doesn't stop. I don't call him, but slither after, ducking behind rocks and trees whenever he turns round to check no one follows.

After a while of relentless pace, we reach a glen of twisted trees. I crane my neck to see what he's looking at- a house. A small, gnarled house, squatting in the mud, ragged and torn by the trees. It moulds into the forest like a huge root. If he hadn't been staring, I wouldn't have seen anything, save the drifting waft of smoke spiralling from its chimney.

He heads down the hill, stumbling on the barren ground, littered with logs and ferns. I tiptoe behind on a different root, hiding in the underground, breathing in the plants.

He knocks on the door.

"BROWN DOVE!" He shouts, " Open up!"

Brown Dove? Why does she live here, out in the woods?

Almost instantly, the door cracks open, and her little head pops through. Her frothy hair falls down just below her shoulders, and a huge bandage is wrapped round her head.

"Hiccup?" She asks.

"Before Astrid… before she died, she said I had to ask a bird about her. You're the only bird I know."

She bites her lip. " Come inside."

He nods, and walks through the door. I spring up, and Brown Dove notices me. I walk forwards, expecting her to invite me in, but she gives me a warning look.

_Stay by the window_. Her voice rings in my head, but her lips aren't moving. What did she do? Transfixed, I stare, as she closes the door with a thud.

Window? I dash down, and lie under it. I can hear them talking inside, as if I'm sitting next to them.

"Water?"

"No thanks."

"Biscuits?"

"I'm fine. We need to talk."  
"Ok."  
"So talk."

"What about?"

"What do you know about Astrid?"  
"I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only name mentioned."

"You were."

"No, you're Father was too. Have you questioned him?"

"I thought I should ask you first."

"I can't tell you anything, Hiccup. I'm sorry."

There's a bang on the table. " Why not?"

"Because of your father. I can't tell you anything else…"  
"Else what?"

"Look, remember the gift I gave you? The one that helped with dreams?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember them? The dreams, I mean."  
"Yes."  
"Then look to them. I can't tell, you, but I've tried to show you. Isn't that what you always say? Let me _show you._"  
"The dreams don't mean anything. What has my father done?" he asks, voice rising.

"He's not really sick, Hiccup, and I'm not really a child. That's all I can tell you."

"What? Brown Dove, how can he not be s-"

"Leave. Talk to your dad."

"I don't believe you." he whispers.  
"Why?" she asks.

"You give me these half truths, and then tell me stupid things like my father isn't sick? Didn't you see him? He's _dying_."

"Astrid was meant to be dead, but she wasn't."

"SHE IS NOW!"

There is a small silence.

"Get out." She says quietly. " Be clever like I thought you were."

"Fine! If you're not going to tell be anything!"

"I want to- can't you understand that?"

A scrape of a chair, and the slam of the door. I turn around just in time to see Hiccup run away.

Brown Dove is next to me in seconds.

"Why can't you tell us anything?"

"I've been tongue tied. I can't undo it myself, but the little I could tell should've been enough. I think he knows the answer, he's just blocking it out. Can you talk to the chief, instead?"

"What do I ask?"

"Ask him about the day Astrid went hunting in the woods. Ask him where he was, and who was the girl watching. Ask him what he did to them both, and what they did in return."

"OK." I try to remember the words. They're more confusing than the ones I remembered at the witches home, long ago. Is this the same kind of thing?

"Now go! There is no time to waste!" she says.

**Thanks for reading! :-) I know this chapter doesn't make much sense... but hopefully, the next one will tie up any loose ends; or finish stitching holes! HA HA HA HA! Bad joke, sorry. **

**Tell me what you think- even if you think this is utter and complete garbage! Have a brill day :-D**

**DinoRhino x**


	18. Sowing up and ripping apart

**Chapter Eighteen**

"Stoick?"

"Whose there?"

I finger the arrows on my back. " Merida."

"Come in, come in. I suppose you've won then?"

I hadn't even- " I suppose so."

There's a laugh from behind the door. " Come in."

He lies on a white bed, surrounded by rugs and pouting dragons. Fine smelling herbs and lotions lie by drawn windows. The room is white, but dark. Shadows make cream go sour.

"Why are you here, my lovely?"

I draw my bow. " I need answers." I say, "About Astrid."

His pale face drains of even more colour. " Why ask me?"

"I have a feeling you know more than you're telling us. What happened, that day she went hunting?"

" I don't know what-"  
"And where were you? Ill?"

"I…"

"Who was there watching?" I take a step closer, pressing my flint to his neck. He gulps, sweat dripping onto the arrows tip.

"Tell me." I say, " Tell me all the truth, and then a little more."

"Brown Dove." He hisses.

"Don't blame it on her. Blame it on me. Tell me." I press harder, " Tell me _now_."

He gulps. " Ok, I'll tell you." He says, " but you must understand- it was for the good of my people, nothing more, nothing less."

I don't lower my bow. " Start talking."

"It was so cold that winter, and the harvest was bad. My son was in love, and that made him weak. Even more importantly, he was in love with _her. _A peasant."

"She wasn't-" I begin.  
"She wasn't a princess," He snaps, "like you. Marrying her would bring nothing to my people, or my son. The harvest was killing my subjects, left right and centre. If she died then, I thought it would hurt less.

So one morning, I told her to meet me by the outskirts of the East Wood. Astrid arrived there early, and I saw a girl looking at her. She had lived in the woods, alone from everyone else, because she had powers. Her line of family had been banished from our tribe long ago. The girl watching wasn't human. She was witch.

As soon as she saw me, the younger girl hid. But I found Astrid easily, taking her by surprise. I didn't want to hurt her, so I started pushing her away. I told her to go.

She wasn't good for my people, or my son.

But she fought back, since she'd brought and axe. She sliced at me-" He pauses, showing me a thin scar at the hinge of his neck, " So I had no choice but to knock her out. I carried her lifeless body deep into the woods, and then I saw the girl again. She screamed and ran, but I caught her. I remember her yelling for help."

"Brown Dove." I breathe.

"She told me Hiccup would never forgive me, never marry anyone else. I thought- she's right! And I knew I'd have to do something. So," He indicates to his ill body, " I did this."  
"You _made yourself ill_?"

"The witch gave me a spell, so that I wouldn't feel pain, but I could fake it whenever I wanted. And then I forced her to take an oath of silence to her Gods- you must understand, the creature was a monster. She was nothing but evil.

However, I was merciful, so in return, I allowed her to join the village, under the name of Brown Dove, indeed. But I still had Astrid to deal with. I couldn't let her come back.

So I found her in the woods, and told her she would never marry my son if I had any say in it. I gave her coins, and a little food and water, before telling her to leave. Forever. And if she returned, I would kill her myself." He sighed, " Hence the cloak, and the darkness."

"But why make yourself ill?" I ask.

"After I'd told everyone Astrid had most likely died in the harvest, I let Hiccup morn. But he mourned too much, so I decided to make him host a marriage tournament. But I knew he'd only do it if he had to, so…."

"You made it you're dying wish." I breathe, " You're _fake _dying wish."

He nods.

"And then he found you, and I was so pleased. I'd heard, though, about Star. You seemed so ill, that I let Brown Dove heal you. I was worried, Merida. I couldn't let Astrid win, else she would marry Hiccup, and there would be nothing I could do."

"So what then?"

"You know the rest of the story. Your folks came, fought, killed her, thank gods. And now you know why I could fight, and why the illness couldn't kill me. I was never going to die."

I stand back, releasing the tension from his neck. " You're a liar. You lied to your own _son_!"

"For his own good."

"No! He _loved _her, and now look! Look at what's happened!"

"But he didn't! He loves you _more_. And maybe he did love her once, but not as much as he loves you. Everything is all right now. Both my kingdom and yours are in marvellous hands!"

I stare at him. "I… I don't know what to say." Because his story makes sense, completely. The scar, her skill with the axe, the fact Brown Dove lives in the wood, her supernatural powers, the way he healed himself within seconds when he needed to fight.

He sent Astrid away. He killed her.

"You're a _beast_." I hiss.

"I asked you to think reasonably. You need to understand."

"Oh, I understand." I say, getting up. " I understand well. The village needs to know."

"You wouldn't!"

"I WOULD!"

"I won't let you marry him…"

"You can't." I say, shrugging. " I've already won. You said yourself, there is nothing you can do."

And I back away. Open the door. Prepare to leave, or run, or scream. Or all of it.

But I do none of it.

Because who is waiting there, outside the door, listening, like I was earlier?

Who heard it all?

"Hiccup." I whisper, " Hiccup, please."

But he doesn't see me.

He only sees the man lying on the bed.

**Ok, i know this isn't really something Stoick would do AFTER the HTTYD films, but maybe something he'd do before. Hope this made sense... if not, any queries are welcome in the reviews. Also, feel free to leave one anyway! Always eager to hear others thoughts :-D**

**DinoRhino x **


	19. My Anger

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Hiccup**

I heard it.

I heard it all.

I remember my dream, about the man telling me to stay away. The man hitting me. The man thudding into me, screaming. It was Brown Dove's way of telling me.

And I hate him. With my soul, and my heart, and my gut.

Before, when I was a disappointment, he wasn't there. Never there.

Then, when I wasn't, he lies to me. He betrays me.

What can I do to make him love me? Not…mould me, carve me, be ashamed of me. I'll never be enough for him, no matter what I do.

"Hiccup," Merida whispers brokenly, " Hiccup, please." She lightly touches my shoulder, but it seems a world away. My vision tinges red, my heart quickens as my father darts into view. His mouth gapes open when he sees me.

"Son…"

"YOU MURDER!" I scream, " YOU LIAR! I _HATE YOU!"_

"Son…"

"_I am not your son!"_ Iyell, " Isn't that what you told me? That I wasn't your son? That I wasn't a Viking?"

"I…"

"No!" I fume, smacking the back of my hand into the wall, " NO MORE EXCUSES!"

"Hiccup." Merida says, " We should go."

"I'd like that," I say, staring into my father's eyes, " I'd like to never come back."

Stoick sits up. "I forbid it, young man. Now, comes the festival, the wedding…"

"I DON'T GIVE A _DAMN_!" I shout, " I just want to get away from _you_! You lying, treacherous snake!"

I draw a knife from my boot.

"Hiccup, stop. We need to go." Merida's light touch skims the back of mine. I spin round, shouting, " Get away!" I push both my hands into her chest, and she trips onto the floor, banging her head on a chest as she falls. Her body dissolves as she hits the ground.

She faints.

I care. I do. But I can't see through the rage, the anger, the-

"Son, help her. She's fainted, for crying out loud. Be a little less selfish."

"Selfish?" I say incredulously, " What did you do, then? Was that not selfish?"

"It was for the good of the people."

"So what am I? A pawn for you to hide behind? I'm fed up!"

He steps out of the bed, leans close. " I love you, boy, know that, but a chieftain must put aside personal feelings."

"Then you won't mind if I leave with Merida, to Scotland? Will you be able to shut out the personal feelings _then_?"

Merida stirs. "Hiccup," she croaks. "Please."

I see her for the first time really, lying there. The anger at my father dwindles. My body springs a leak, and everything but worry spills out. Is she ok?

"I'm fine." She says, as if reading my thoughts, " But can we go?"

I reach for her hand. " Of course." I say, " Toothless is waiting."

And that's how easy it is to leave. Maybe not forever. Maybe not today.

But for now.

**HELLO! :-D Ok, so that was pretty boring ( Snore) but never mind. REALLY NEARLY done now :-) Please leave a review if you feel like it, it would be great to hear your thoughts. Also, I'm posting a alternate ending of this ( The whole story, not just the chapter) called ' Midwinter Marriage'. It's quite sad :,-( so yep. It should be up today, or tomorrow. THANKS! :-DDDD**

**DinoRhino x**


	20. But maybe you don't love me!

**Chapter 20**

**Merida**

Black paper and spilled glitter. Wafting silver and shining clouds. Pouring gentle wind and soft sound.

I feel free.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"Does it matter?" He replies, " We can go _anywhere_!"  
He laughs, throwing his head back to the stars. I wonder if Astrid is up there, or Fectory.

"Where's Elsa?" I ask suddenly.

"She's going back to Arrendale to say goodbye to her sister before she goes on her honey moon." He grins even wider, " She says she'll come to our wedding."

"_Our wedding_." I laugh too, but then… " Can we wait a while?"

I expect him to ask why. I expect him to question me, not understand, but all he says is- "Of course."

Toothless gives us a cheeky look. "Hey!" I say, smacking his nose.

And then I think of something. My stomach flips.

"Hiccup." I whisper. " Land."

His face grows confused. " Where?"

"Anywhere." I say. " We need to talk."

A frown rests on his jaw, as he tells Toothless to fly to the ground. The dragon smiles, leaning, and clatters onto a rock. The lap of the sea washes against its black sides, close to our feet. If it was a harsh day, I think we would've had to look for somewhere else to land.

He leans on a jutting of rock. His hair is matted with salt, windswept by the sea. His prosthetic leg peeps out of his trousers. I never really took much notice to it. I never bothered to ask how it came to be.

I didn't think it mattered.

And that is the problem.

"I," I say, " Am a germ."

"A germ?" He laughs.

"I am something that has been forced upon you." I say levelly. " I am a lesser of the evils. When I was forced into marriage… I hated it. But of _course _I looked at them and thought- I need to love them. I need to live with one of them. So; it is chance you looked at me." I close my eyes before I say it, " To you, this is fake love. A layer you've made for yourself, a layer of fake feeling, that makes me less painful to be with."

He stares at me, " Merida."

"No! I don't want to hear it. I _understand. _You can go. You can marry someone else!" I forge a laugh, stepping backwards, " You're _free_!" I throw my hands up in the air.

"No- I…"

I bite my lips. I hold back the tears. So I was right.

"I DIDN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!" I scream at him, " Why should you HAVE TO?"

"I don't…"

"You _don't." _I say. " You don't love me! I knew it! I'm just a substitute for Astrid!"

His mouth drops open. He looks…. Angry?  
"Merida," He grabs my wrists. I yank my hands away, "Merida!"

"WHAT?" The tears are streaming down my cheeks.

"I loved you in those woods," He says, " I loved you when you were a peasant. I loved you when you were a princess. I loved you when you were a liar. I loved you when you were a warrior. I loved you when you were angry, when you were sad, when my world crumbled and I had nothing left. Sure- sometimes, I was so angry that I let myself forget. I let myself hate. When I pushed you- I had a hole in my love. A tiny hole, but my father had ripped it open. And I had fallen through, and taken you down in the process.

When Astrid died, I found a hole. But _you _stitched it up." He holds my shoulders, " Merida. I _love _you. No matter what."

I stare at him. He seems so honest. So truthful. But is it all a trick he has played on himself?

"Hiccup." I say, " What if I said this- I move away. I leave. You say I died. And then you're free. You can marry whoever. What about that?"

" Merida," He says, " What about this- I refuse to the marriage. I refuse to it all. And we live freely. And if I still love you, then we'll marry."

"Live… free?" I whisper.

"Just us." He whispers. " And I'll see if my love is just something to fall back on."

I sniff. " You're sure?"

"I'm sure. On one condition."

I stare, eyes wide. " What?"

"That you _never _talk about this again."

"Okay." I say, " Of course."

He smiles. " Now get on Toothless!" He jokes.

I get on Toothless.

"Now- fly!" And Toothless flies.

He dives into the night sky.

The salty air washes away my tears. The glittering sky soothes my panicked heart.

Maybe I really can have love.

Maybe I really do deserve life.

Maybe I am not just a penny to throw. Maybe I am something more.

Is it bad to believe I can be that? Something other than who I always thought I was?

No. I don't think it is.

Hiccup leans down, steering Toothless. The moon bathes us in a pearly glow.

And I think the hole I started with has finally been stitched.

**Yay! In case you haven't guessed yet, I'm big on cheesy moments. So this is basically the last chapter- Epilogue and then finished! If you've read up to here, thank you so much! :-D Please leave a review if you want to :-)**

**DinoRhino x **


	21. Epilouge

**Epilogue**

**Elsa**

"OH MY GOD! That is _soooo _unbearably cute!"

"I know." I say, finally finished the story, " But sad, huh?"

"It kinda explains your ankles." She indicates to my bruising feet. There is seriously no limit to Brown Dove's skill.

"Yeah, so, will you come?"

"Elsa, if you'd offered me a pig with three hundred eyes and the tail of a fish instead, I still would've rather come to the wedding. Oh my goodness!" She squeals, " _adorable explosion!_"

I give her a funny look. The best thing she can think of ever having is a mutant pig? I guess everyone is different.

"So," she twiddles a lock of her light ginger hair, " When do we leave?"

"The journey takes a while, so end of today."

She puckers her lip and widens her eyes. "Ohh…" she says, " I better get some clothes. What do you think? Any dress code?"

I stare at her. " This is _Merida's _wedding. Do you really think she will have decided any thing further than who she's marrying?"

Anna looks like she's seen a ghost, gripping the table with whitening knuckles.

"What?" I ask, but she ignores me. A look of pure astonishment envelops her face.

"Does that mean…" She croaks slowly, " I can wear…" She takes a quick, needy breath. "My _red mermaid dress of complete epicness_?!"

I shrug. "Yep."

She screams. "YESSSSSS!" and leaves the table, probably of to pack the red mermaid dress of complete epicness. I wouldn't be surprised if a tail of rainbows was found trailing behind her.

We leave later that night, like I said. Anna's dressed in silk pyjamas, and sleeps like a drugged snail through the boat ride. I dress in a linen robe, but hardly sleep, gazing out at the sea long into the night as we leave the Kingdom behind. Despite losing the competition, my bloody ankles have done me a favour. It makes it look like I really tried.

Which I did.

The girl who ruined Anna's wedding-Chrock- has let it go when she came with the ships. She understands, now, that I was never power hungry.

I was just waiting.

Everything seems utterly perfect here, with the subtle sea drifting below us, Anna sleeping steadily below deck, Merida and Hiccup preparing to wed.

It's moments like these that my faith in God becomes renewed.

And then I remember my parents. They died on this ocean, maybe this very stretch.

But what did Merida say, at Astrid's funeral? _We need to get through the dark times to see the light._

The dark times have passed now.

Today, we can bathe in light.

**CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE. I am sorry. Extremely sorry. **

**But blah. Never mind- this story is FINISHED! Yeah! **

**Thank you for reading this far. I REALLY appreciate it. Yet again, please leave a review if you feel like it. ( God, I have that terrible feeling when I know my story will just go down…. And down…. And down… as more updates come…. :,-( Never mind. **

**Thanks anyway! ****J**

**DinoRhino x**


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